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Wordsmith
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Xander blinked. He was unaware of just how long he had lay lost in thought, but it was late afternoon. Spike was dozing while curled against him on the bed. Xander was sure if he ever called the vampire on being a closet cuddler, Spike would just gripe about being cold - regardless of the sweltering temperatures.
It was actually bearable in the unairconditioned hotel with the ceiling fan's soft, artificial breeze. The heavily draped widows kept out the sun's heat and since only the bottom few floors were in use the old elevator shafts acted as chimneys, letting the heat rise to the vacant floors. Xander rubbed soothing circles on Spike's back hoping to lull his room-temperature lover deeper into a light sleep. The whole lack of breathing thing gave Spike a huge advantage in making Xander unaware of if the vampire were asleep or awake. Xander had a lot to think about. He didn't want Giles to have to solve the Glory-Buffy dilemma himself and despite the talk he had had with Spike, Xander was nervous about how Buffy being alive, so to speak, would affect them all.
Dawn was distraught over Buffy's confusion, fearing that Buffy would never regain the memories they all shared of Dawn before she had been really sent to them. Xander wished he had the words to put her at ease. It really didn't matter to him how real the memories were, she was theirs, plain and simple. Xander had spent a long time after his very first meeting Giles and Buffy contemplating reality and perception. He didn't have any fancy degrees like Miller and Finn, or centuries of experience like Angel and Spike, but he knew what felt right. After losing Jessie and almost seeing the world sucked into hell the first time, Xander had decided that drawing the lines between fantasy and truth came in second to the people you loved.
Willow, he was sure, would be looking for a spell to 'fix' this. He would need to make sure she didn't take too much on. He sent up a pray of thanks that Spike had been able to put that horrifying idea Willow had been researching, of resurrecting Buffy, out of the witch's head. His heart-sib had suffered debilitating, recurring nightmares for weeks after they had lost Buffy. Looking into Willow's exhausted eyes, Xander had been on the verge of offering to participate in any ritual she wanted to spare her that pain. She was sure Buffy was languishing away in some hell-dimension. Oddly enough, it had been Spike's sarcastic ridicule of the idea that had dissuaded her. His rude comments about how unfair it was that all Slayers got a 'get outta hell free' card which allowed them to be utter bints when alive and still skip through the pearly gates had prevented Willow from venturing into some pretty scary magic.
Xander wasn't sure where Lindsey fit in. He knew Angel thought he needed him for that prophesy Wes had Spike translate, but Deadboy sure didn't seem to like the guy, although the trick he had pulled with the music had proved useful in putting Buffy back into the driver's seat. The more time Glory spent in control the more groggy Buffy would seem when she came back. If they could keep her with them the bulk of the time, she might start to remember Dawn again.
Abruptly, his view of the decorative molding on the ceiling was suddenly obstructed by a pair of glaring yellow eyes. Xander smiled. Lifting his hand, he traced Spike's new piercing with his finger. He pulled Spike's slight, muscular body on top of him and sighed. He had not only been brooding, he had been caught brooding. Once reassured that Xander's attention was firmly back where it should be - on him - Spike snuggled *strike that - vampires do not snuggle* buried his face in Xander's neck.
~~~
Gunn parked his jeep around the side of the old hotel. Faith was in high spirits, since their assignment had gone so smoothly. He had suggested they work out. The hotel was hushed without the blaring music from earlier that day. As they headed down to the parking level to warm up on the heavy bag, she noticed that Wes had finally taken a break from the prophesy research; the conference room was dim and empty. She assumed most of the others were napping as it was moving into the late afternoon and the hottest part of the day.
Gunn detoured toward the kitchen and said he would fetch some drinks and sent Faith ahead. Faith stepped back in surprise as she entered the lower level. At the sound of her footsteps on the stair, Riley had turned with a wide grin. His face had almost comically transformed into an expression that mirrored the shock Faith felt.
"Uhm...I was just," he said. He gestured vaguely at the free weights as his eyes darted nervously past her to the stairs.
Faith stepped aside, not wanting him to feel trapped, disappointed in her inability to say anything that wouldn't make both of them feel more awkward. She had never bought into all the twelve-step shit they dealt out at the weekly counseling sessions. Making amends might work if all you did was drugs or alcohol, but she had betrayed a sacred duty and used the strength given to her to serve mankind to harm and kill those she was meant to protect. Still, she thought, even though an apology wasn't enough to make up for using Riley in the guise of Buffy, she hadn't given him even that yet. Steeling herself for the rejection she was sure would follow, she took a deep breath and impulsively she touched his arm just as he went to pass by. "Wait," she said.
He tensed and pulled his arm away and she regretted acting so hastily, but knew if she didn't speak now she would lose her nerve. "I'm sorry," she said. "For everything. I know... I know it doesn't make up for anything, for what I did to you, what I did to B. I know it was wrong and... you didn't deserve it. Neither of you did."
"Well," Riley swallowed hard. He ran his palms nervously over his forearms, smoothing the hairs that had stood on end.
Relief swept over Riley's face. Graham stopped briefly at the bottom of the stairs. He looked calmly at Faith. She knew little about him other than his name, but he had given her a wide berth since she had arrived. Without a word he moved to stand at Riley's side. A light bulb came on in her head and Faith realized that they were together. So, on top of facing the woman who had ridden him into the ground using his lover's body, the poor kid had to face the same lover resurrected now that he had apparently started to move on.
"It's okay," Riley said. "You weren't yourself."
Faith found herself returning the self-conscious smile Finn sported when he realized his unintentional play on words, given that she hadn't been in her own body.
"It's okay?" Graham said with disbelief.
Gunn's arrival with the sports drinks brought back rather than dissipated the awkward tension.
~~~
Tara opened the door to Buffy's suite only a few inches. She peeked in, smiling tentatively at Lindsey. At his nod she opened the door wider and with her arm sheltering Dawn, steered the girl into the suite and over to the bed. Dawn shifted from foot to foot. Buffy had stayed present for hours now and was drifting in her own thoughts less. Lindsey watched as Buffy smiled at her 'sister'. She patted the bed and Dawn perched as if she would jump away at the first sign of Glory coming back.
McDonald nodded again to the shy blonde witch. She came over and sat next to him on the loveseat, probably more to give the sisters some time together than to keep him company. He found Tara's presence very soothing. He didn't stop the soft chords he was strumming. He appreciated that she had told him the truth, as far as she knew it, regarding the various blood and romantic ties which knit together these two independent fighting units for the Powers That Be. Although, given the news loops he had caught on television, she had seriously discounted just how dangerous this group of friends was.
Buffy had probably told him more than Angel would like. He was still unclear on just what was causing her memory loss of her sister. He dare not ask given how protective they all seemed of Dawn. He had no illusions about his life expectancy if William the Bloody or his apparently insane mate thought he might be threatening to the girl. Given what he had seen the tiny red haired witch do to Lilah, he wasn't even sure his thoughts were his own right now He was sure that he wanted away from Angel. If he ran though, he would now have the vampire and Wolfram and Hart after him. He wasn't up to the pressure of standing up to the firm. Some nebulous prophesy was not reason enough to risk being in the same city as his old employers. He had his doubts about Angel's ability to keep him out of their clutches. Xander, despite his casual violence, or perhaps because of it, seemed to have a much clearer picture of just how dangerous a game the souled vampire was playing in pitting his tiny agency against a multinational organization with ties to the powers of darkness.
He had tuned out the hushed voice of the girl but Lindsey's attention was drawn back at the sound of Buffy's hushed words.
"I remember...when you cut yourself and being... I was so afraid. I remember Mom... finding her, and the funeral -- all those hours waiting in the hospital. Did I really let Spike babysit?" Buffy turned a confused look to Tara. The witch nodded enthusiastically and offered an encouraging smile.
~~~~~
"What's up?" Xander asked. He didn't open his eyes and remained sprawled in one of the two wingback chairs clustered by the desk.
Angel sat down behind his desk, not for the first time regretting that Wesley had taken over his office when he had taken over the agency. Even though he had requested the meeting, the vampire was surprised to find Xander waiting for him. He had expected the young man to remain in bed most of the rest of the day. True, the witches has been the most physically drained by the assault on the law firm, but Angel had seen just how much energy the young man had poured into the planning and executing of the breakout. Xander also had the added demands of catering to Spike's endless energy.
Angel took a moment to contemplate his Childe's mate. Healthy and tan, Xander was flexible enough to sprawl bonelessly across the chair, yet had bulked up from the skinny boy who had stood up to Angelus not so very long ago. His long legs were bare in a pair of obscenely short cutoffs and he wore a red tee shirt with black writing that said 'C.O.T.H. Woodshop And Demolition Team'. Perhaps the most disturbing thing about the silkscreen was that it looked mass produced, as if it were part of some Hellmouth souvenir franchise. Angel's visions of a market for clothing that said 'I went to Boca del Inferno and all I got was possessed.' was interrupted by a laughing pair of brown eyes.
"Deadboy? You interrupted sex for this. Spill." Xander swung his legs off the arm of the chair and assumed a more upright position.
~~~~~~~
Charles Gunn waited patiently for the young woman to regain her composure. In the short time he had known the fiercely beautiful young Slayer he had begun to feel more than just an attraction for her. He felt connected with Faith on a level that frankly scared him. He saw a great deal of himself in her. She seemed so alone and he wondered if she wasn't an example of what could have happened to him if he hadn't been dragged into this ookie little family that the cheerleader-cum-seer and the odd, brooding souled vampire had formed out of what was essentially a bunch of cast-off misfits.
The recent confrontation with Riley had shocked the hell out of him. It was hard to believe that this vibrant soul had been doing hard time for murder. Then again, after losing Alana he had come damn close to killing Angel. He couldn't admit it to himself then, but he knew now that if he had been able to kill the vampire who had been trying to help him, then he would have crossed a line that would have led to humans. Faith had crossed that line-more than once.
Seeing that Angel was having a meeting off of the lobby Gunn led Faith upstairs to the area Cordelia called the living room. Once they were both seated he asked, "You wanna tell me what that was all about? What's with you and Finn?"
She sat, quietly biting her lip and chipping at the dark red polish on her nails. Finally she said, "I should probably start at the beginning."
~~~~~~
"Here's Willow now," Angel said. He rose from his seat as the witch joined them in the alcove off the lobby in which his office area now resided.
"It's pretty bad when I beat you out of bed, Wills," Xander said by way of greeting.
"Sorry," Willow said. "Dawnie's back. She's really stressed, so I left her with Tara. What are we discussing?"
Xander nodded absently as the redhead took the chair next to his. She was in crisp walking shorts and a rich purple shirt. The tee was thin with cap sleeves and a scalloped neckline, its flowing white script proudly proclaimed 'Hellmouth Born and Bred'.
"I offered Angel Faith, for Lindsey and a player to be named later," Xander quipped before Angel could say anything.
"Xander," Willow scolded, "this isn't dodge ball."
Angel watched the two friends grinning at each other. Each brought light and warmth into the old hotel in their own manner. He marveled at how much they had been through and yet still managed to retain such youthful exuberance. They seemed to feed off of each other's boundless energy. Willow's allusion to dodge ball was accurate; they egged each other on like children on a playground. Angel shook his head. They were Peter Pan and Wendy, baiting him and teasing each other. It was easy to forget that they were the reason Wolfram and Hart's LA headquarters was now a city block of rapidly cooling lava.
The vampire cleared his throat and two pair of sparkling eyes locked on him. Willow sat up straight, as if getting caught passing notes in class. Xander bounced in his chair as if he was about to pull a prank on the teacher of that class. Angel shook his head again. He could almost see these two at five and nine and thirteen. Could almost catch a glimpse of the young adults they would have become had they not stumbled onto the mouth of hell. There had been another boy, hadn't there? If only he had taken a stand against Darla and the Master sooner. If he had done more than lurk about spouting cryptic comments, could he have saved the other one? Jesse, the one they didn't talk about. The one he had seen in the photos in Willow's room when Angelus had killed her fish. Would that tall dark-eyed boy have calmed Xander's nervous energy? Would he have bolstered Willow's self-confidence?
Well, it was too late. He had held back. He had been afraid to let Buffy know what he was and the boy had paid the price. The two friends had done their best without their missing third. Willow had found herself and was now grounded through Tara. Oddly enough, Angel's wayward Childe did seem to calm Xander, if not reign in his boundless energy. And Spike, whatever Spike had found with his mate, if it didn't control his homicidal violence, at least it channeled it.
"Giles," Angel started, shaking off is introspection, "would like to get Buffy away from L.A. as soon as possible."
Xander was instantly alert and his eyes took on the wary look they held when he was planning something. "Do you have reason to believe someone knows she's subletting from Glory?"
"We're just being cautious. But even if Wolfram and Hart are distracted by... recent events it's best to have her hidden before they start looking." Angel said
~~~~~
Riley stepped out of the shower. The emotional workout of dealing with Faith had been a lot more draining that working the heavy bag. Graham's sudden presence had been a mixed blessing. His old friend - and more recently, lover - had become his touchstone. He hadn't realized just how much he relied on Graham's steadfast support until the Scoobies had swept into town. But as reasonable and collected as Graham was about his own emotions he was fiercely protective of Riley.
Finn wiped steam off the mirror and decided after a quick glance that he could put off shaving until tomorrow. He stepped out into the bedroom with a towel slung across his hips. Graham looked up from working oil into the leather sheath of the two-headed ax he favored and asked, "You okay?"
Riley nodded. He smiled as Graham returned his attention to his tasked. He appreciated the trust Graham was willing to show in his judgment. He knew he hadn't been worthy of it before but he had been clean for almost two months and was surprised at how much he welcomed the opportunity to put that mess with Faith behind him.
He turned to pull clean clothes out of the bureau. He wasn't ready to deal with Buffy yet and with luck wouldn't have to since the Scoobies were bound to take her back to Sunnydale with them. Faith, on the other hand... Well, if the past twenty-four hours were any indication, Gunn would probably be interested in keeping her around. Angel wouldn't just cut her loose now that Willow had broken her out and erased all recorded of her crimes and punishment. He couldn't see her going back to Sunnydale with the Scoobies even if Buffy weren't back in the picture. So, seeking some sort of closure with the Slayer was for the best. He wasn't willing to take the easy way out and blame her for his behavior after her 'visit'; it would be too easy. Reasons became excuses and that way just led to justifying his repeating the same self-destructive behavior that had nearly gotten him killed or turned.
"You want to go see what kind of dinner plans are being made?" Riley asked as he pulled on a clean tee shirt.
By way of reply Graham quickly tidied up his work area with military neatness and followed him out into the corridor. They moved shoulder to shoulder down the hall. Their silences were always companionable and Riley was relieved that he never felt the need to make idle chatter with Graham. Therefore, it was no surprise when they heard Faith and Gunn in the sitting area as they headed toward the stairs to the lobby. Her back was to them and Gunn's attention was riveted on the brunette as she spoke.
"His...his lips turned blue and I remember being relieved that I wouldn't have to deal with him any more. He had seen me. Really seen me. I didn't want someone with that power... that knowledge to be around. He had saved my life, you know... that night when we... I tried to treat him like all the others, but he wouldn't... he, he still thought of me as a friend. I took what he offered - that friendship and when I couldn't destroy it, I tried to destroy him. If Angel hadn't stopped me... If he had been just a few heartbeats later... Xander would be dead."
Spike struck like a ballistic missile. He had come out of nowhere. Gunn was thrown to the floor. The couch crashed into the wall and the snarling vampire held Faith above him by her neck. Once Riley saw Graham pulled Gunn up and back away from the vampire, he vaulted a footstool and ran breakneck down the stair to the lobby. He hoped he could find Angel or Xander before someone got killed.
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