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Wordsmith
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The routine changed over the next few weeks, or rather evolved. Dawn's school
let out, Tara and Willow started a new summer schedule. The patrols continued,
but usually ended with Spike coming home with Xander. Giles hired Jonathan of
all people to help in the shop. *Well, it's not like he doesn't have an interest
in magic, and at least this way we can keep an eye on him.* Dawn was with them
in the evenings, but spent most days with her friends;
swimming, shopping, doing girl stuff. Xander was surprised she came to him instead
of Giles to ask things like, 'can I go to the mall, can I sleep over at Stephanie's,
can I go to the concert?' The answers were 'Yes you can go to the mall, just
be back before sunset. Who's Stephanie? You're staying inside all night, right?
You'll call if her parents are aliens or demons or robots? You can go to concert
only it you promise not to get pissed when Spike and I follow you; those things
are a freaking smorgasbord. You don't want to get eaten do you? Err... wait!
-- you don't...erm ah Spike help me out here.' All in all Dawn was amazingly
tolerant of their smothering... ah, hovering... err, concern.
The first time she caught Xander who had oh so casually stopped by the mall
after work to buy...um shirts, yeah shirts, she had let him lie himself into
a corner. She had spotted him unobtrusively using one of the security
mirrors to watch her, while pretending to check out the merchandise. Dawn had
been with a group of three other girls, and had disengaged herself with to the
sound of catcalls and giggles. "What. Are. You. Doing. Here." Poke.
Poke. Poke. A sharp little finger to the rib cage punctuated each word.
"What? Shopping." Disbelieving look, and raised eyebrow. *Hey that's Willow's look.* "Dawn, I shop." *Oh oh, arms crossed, foot tapping, time for a defensive diversion.* "You think it's easy to look this good? The Xander style takes constant maintenance." *Okay, it wasn't that funny*
"You are not buying that shirt." *Dear God, she sounds like Cordelia. Wait, what's wrong with this shirt?*
"You don't like orange and pink?"
*****
This just proved lying was bad. The whole 'Willow said to kick his ass, Buffy' thing and the Amy spell deal, which in addendum had been blackmail, not lying, but still had spooky scary end results, so there you go. Here he was, shopping with Dawn, Spike and the witches. The whole hell concept was so overrated. Why worry about the afterlife when you could suffer immediately for the consequences of your actions, right here on Earth. *I should have stuck with the truth. Yes, Dawn, I am stalking you. It's not that I don't trust you, I just wanted to make sure none of your friends were going to turn into a hyena. But no, I had to go with the 'I desperately need new clothing' excuse. So help me, if any of them show me one more black shirt I'll bang my head against the wall. You'd think they've forgotten I have a pulse.*
"How about this one?" Tara held up a dark gray, loose-knit sweater, and Xander went over to look at the display from which she had selected it.
"Hey, it comes in green." *Well light green, but it's a larger size and that's what's important.*
"Spike," Dawn cupped her hand in front of her mouth and whispered loudly. "Do you think Xander is colorblind?"
After two hours and buying more clothes than he could possibly ever need, Xander
manipulated... ah, maneuvered the gang into the food court. Willow had gone
to the Potato Patch to get fries and drinks and had dragged Spike
with her to help carry. Tara and Dawn were having a hushed discussion about
Willow's birthday dinner. It wasn't a surprise. Willow had suggested that they
stay in this year, but Dawn and Tara were keeping the menu secret.
"I'll get the cake." Xander said, when he heard they were now having salmon.
"Xander." Dawn gave him the junior varsity version of the Buffy pout.
"I want to do something, too." Xander saw he pout and raised her big eyes.
She laughed, "You want to get the cake so that you can be sure it's chocolate cake with chocolate icing."
"Dawn." *Busted*
"You're supposed to try to get something Willow would like."
*Yes, Joyce.* "I think I know what Willow likes." *Did she really think she could win this?*
"Okay, what does Willow like?" Dawn had that 'girls remember everything about each other' smile, and was daring him to guess wrong.
"Willow likes to make people happy. Chocolate makes me happy. Therefore
Willow likes chocolate." Xander folded both arms on the table and was leaning
forward when he finished, because Spike and Willow were on their way
over.
Tara laughed. "Well, you can't argue with that flawless logic."
*****
The dinner was subdued. The food was excellent, and it felt so good to be together
with no prominent crisis, but something was missing. Obviously. Xander kept
looking around, expecting to see her. When Tara and Dawn had
splashed water all over the kitchen, and then shrieked with laughter as they
tried to clean up before the party started, he could picture Buffy with them
right in the thick of things. When Giles toasted Willow and commented on 'what
a wonderful young woman she had become' he could see the tears that would have
formed in Buff's eyes. Even when Spike had said "You're all right, Red,"
he almost heard the classic Buffy comeback of, "She's much more than all
right, bleach boy."
Tara had brought videos, so they grouped around the television the way Victorian
families must have gathered around the fire. He would have to ask Spike about
that. Xander sprawled on the couch next to Spike. Giles sat in a
rocker to the right of the reading lamp and was paging though Xander's yearbook;
it had been on the end table. Willow took an oversized chair to the right of
the couch. Tara and Dawn sat at her feet. Xander felt his eyes droop and he
forced them open, thinking it would be in bad form for the host to crash at
the party. But it was a Julia Roberts film, with no sex and no car chases and
for as quiet as it had been, the evening had been emotionally
draining. Willow was French braiding Tara's hair. Dawn had asked to be next.
The movement of the brush through the golden strands was mesmerizing. Xander
felt hypnotized watching Willow's fingers weaving the hair back and under.
The next thing he knew Willow was looking down, wearing her concerned look,
and stroking his face. "Xan, we're leaving. Don't get up. I had a really
good time." Xander was never at his best when he first woke. He blinked,
and
decided he should probably try to say something.
"Happy Birthday. I love you." *Well, that must have been coherent - she's smiling.* He had almost rolled over and went back to sleep. In fact he started to, but got a face, full of Spike's lap. He sat up and ran both hands through his hair, and ventured a look at Willow. *Great, she's smirking.* Since he was felt like living dangerously he decide to see how Giles was handling his head gravitating into Spike's lap while he slept. *Yep, that is definitely a 'we will talk about this later' look.* Dawn took it in stride.
She kissed him on the cheek before saying, "Good night Xander. Get some sleep." She kissed Spike and led the others out the door.
"You all right, Pet?" *What no smirk, no snort, no merciless teasing for my lap diving?* He looked into Spike's eyes, and occasionally, like now, he was almost certain that he saw what William had been like before he met Dru in that dark alley. Xander remembered how when Jessie had been turned, there had been something of him there. Not a soul; but something, something that made him Jessie and not Bob or Steve. That was there in Spike's eyes, some memory of humanity.
"I..I just..." Xander hated that he never seemed to have the words. He never could hold on to the emotions long enough to choke them out. "I'm....really glad you're here."
"What brought this on, Luv?" Funny how the softer Spike spoke the closer he felt. Right now, right now felt so good. Just, this. This was good. If he only had the words.
"I... tonight.. When the shit hits the fan, and hey, the shit always hits the fan, you look back on times like these and you think of the people you lost." His voice broke and Xander took a steadying breath. "You wish you ... you wish you had told them how much it meant....how much they meant...how important.....I ...I'm just really glad you're here."
And it was all right, because Spike was petting him. Running his fingers through his hair, across his chest, up his thighs, and it felt so good to have him here. It wasn't always like this. After patrols, there was frantic scrambling that started before they finished undressing and ended in the shower, on the floor, even on the kitchen table or against the wall. But sometimes, it was almost like the first time again, reverent and hushed. Xander pulled Spike up to face him from where he'd been dipping his tongue in Xander's navel. "It's just, important, you know?"
And Spike had nodded, "I know, Xander. I know."
*****
It was his own fault. With Dawn staying over at Stephanie's and the witches engrossed in spell books at the research table, he should have known he was walking into a Giles lecture.
"How did you get it in the first place?" *He never asked how I get over fourteen units of whole human blood a week, but he want to know where I got the beer? Can you say priorities, G-Man?* The blank look had worked and Giles continued in a more reasonable tone. "She looks up to you Xander, you must realize that your actions speak louder than your words. The fact that you're only a few months under age and she is several years is not a justifiable excuse."
"Hey, I told her it was Spike's." *An improvisation I was rather proud of.*
"Really? As in the community property sense?" *I am so not ready to have that conversation with you. Time for a diversionary tactic.*
"I gave her the 'Beer Bad' speech. I told her how it de-evolves people ala cave Slayer." *Take that, Ripper.*
"Did you also give her the 'Boy Smells Good' lecture?" *Erp? Sex? Talk about Sex with Dawn? Help?*
"I thought you'd do that, you're the adult." *Ha! I still have the sex with Joyce on the hood of a police car in my arsenal.*
Giles looked at Xander. Xander looked at Giles. Blink. Blink. Blink. Ding! Light bulb! "Willow?" *Oh look, stereo.*
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