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Zarrah
Rating: NC-17 for Language/violence and sexual situations in later chapter's.
Disclaimer: Belong to Joss...not me
Summary: *Sequel to Lover's Walk*...Future...Year 2034....Eleven years after Buffy's death, Spike is living in LA helping Angel fight the good fight. How will he react when he comes face to face with ghost's from his past.
A/N...(This is 'NOT' a Buffy/Spike fic..you have been warned!) Also, this 'is' a sequel, so the story will make no sense what so ever if you don't read "Lover's Walk" first.
Ravyn and Spike sat, still holding on to each other, neither one wanting to let go. They had been sitting there, just looking at each other as the world around them slowly moved forward.
"We can't sit here all night you know." Ravyn told him as she lifted her head.
"Why not?"
She grinned at him as she spoke. "Because the sun will pop up and fry us to a crisp...that's why."
Spike sighed lightly. "Suppose it will." he said as Ravyn pulled away from him and started to stand. He watched her as she righted herself, and reluctantly stood himself.
"So, go show me the house, has to be better than that smelly ole crypt you use to call home." Ravyn said as she dusted the sand from her pants.
Spike rolled his eyes as he dusted himself off. "There was nothin wrong with the crypt."
"Sure...whatever you say." Ravyn said smiling as she turned and started for the path, Spike following right behind her.
Ravyn picked up her sandals and started for the house. "So, how long you been living here?"
"Bout eight years now. Stayed with the poof once I moved to town but his brooding was starting to depress me." Spike told her smiling.
"Why do you always call him names?" Ravyn asked as she gave him a disapproving look.
"Cause that bloody soul of his makes him a whiny Nancy Boy. Just to much fun gettin under his skin not to." Spike told her chuckling.
Ravyn walked up on the back deck, shaking her head at Spike while she did. "Well, I think you're to hard on him. He's really nice."
Spike stopped. "Nice?..." he said laughing at her comment. "You have no idea what he's like."
"Then tell me."
"Why?" he asked curious as to why she wanted to know about his annoying grand-sire.
"Just curious. You obviously have some dislike for him, yet you work for him. Just don't see why you stay around him is all."
Spike walked around the side of the house, taking Ravyn's arm as he did. He stopped near the water faucet and turned it on after grabbing the water hose.
"Lift your foot up." he told her, washing the sand off her feet as she did.
Ravyn could tell he wasn't going to answer her questions about Angel so she dropped it. Lifting her other foot, she looked around and saw the garden.
"Since when did you take up gardening?"
Spike turned the water off and looked over at his garden. "Since I moved here." he told her as she walked over to the edge of the porch and looked at all the flowers.
"There really beautiful. Didn't take you as the Roses kind of guy." she said smiling as she took in the site off all the different varieties that were growing there.
"Well...I'm not actually. Well, wasn't I'll say." Spike told her as he walked to stand beside her. "They were Buffy's hobby. Couldn't leave them."
Ravyn looked up at him and could see the same look on his face that he had had when he told her he had bought the beach house because of her. She smiled, knowing as long as he existed, he'd never forget those he loved.
Looking back over at the flowers she leaned her head sideways when a pale purple rose caught her eye. "What's that one?" she asked as she pointed. "Never seen a purple rose before."
"Couldn't tell ya. Buffy knew them all by name." he told her, looking over at the Roses she was looking at.
Ravyn studied all the flowers. They were bright with color and she wondered how he kept them all alive. They were every color of the rainbow and the breeze carried there scent through the air.
"I think I like the purple best." she stated, more to herself.
"Why's that?" he asked as he turned to look at her.
"Well....never seen another like it, makes it special I guess." she said shrugging her shoulder slightly, noticing there were many plants of the same color...except for the purple. It was alone, a single plant, perfect and beautiful. "Kinda makes it stand out against all the other's."
"Just like you." Spike said quietly, knowing her statement was how he had always felt about her.
Ravyn turned and looked at him, smiling slightly at him as she did. "Well come on, show me the house before we have to get back." she said taking his arm so he would move.
Spike walked to the door, removed his keys from his pocket and unlocked it. Walking inside, he flipped on the light and held the door for her as she walked in.
Ravyn was surprised at what she saw, it was really nice, homey looking. Much better than that dingy crypt he had lived in.
As she stepped through the door she looked around as he close the door behind her. There was a cream colored sofa directly in front of her, with a small coffee table sitting in front of it. Two matching chairs sitting at either side of it with a intriquentaly detailed Asian rug in rich greens, blacks and burgundy tones under the table.
The walls were in a tan, complementing the furniture. Bright throw pillows littered the sofa and chairs, picking up colors from the rug.
"Wow Spike...tell me someone else decorated this for you or I'm gonna start thinking you actually have taste." she said grinning at him.
Spike smiled back at her as he walked towards the kitchen which was located directly behind the living room. It wasn't that large, but what did a vampire need with a large kitchen anyway.
Ravyn walked to her right towards the hall. She turned left and started down it, being a little nosy as she did. He had pictures of all the Scoobies hanging with their families along with older ones. The way she remembered them looking. There were pictures of everyone. Lots of Buffy and Dawn and....even one of her.
She looked at the photo and realized it was one of hers. She was on the beach, sun shining brightly.
"Nibblet had that blown up for me." Spike told her as he walked in behind her. "It always was my favorite." he said as she turned to look at him.
"Really?"
Spike smiled. "Yeah, sunlight does you good." he said handing her a beer.
Ravyn took the bottle and took a drink before making a little face. "Did this stuff always taste like this?" she asked as the liquid left a foul taste in her mouth.
Spike laughed at her. "Yeah, it always tasted like that."
"Huh....guess I really didn't need to miss it then." she said grinning before continuing her look through the house.
Spike just watched her from where he was standing. He had to keep reminding himself she was 'really' there. He would see her and talk to her, but then the images of that warehouse would come back and he would start to doubt what he was seeing.
Looking up at his photo's, Spike smiled at his life as it was displayed on the wall before him and grateful he was able to spend it surrounded by people he loved...and who also loved him back.
Ravyn peeked into a bathroom, still in muted tans and cream colors except for the occasional splash of color and smiled as she realized he 'did' have taste after all.
There was a spare bedroom, decorated in cream and dark burgundy with heavy drapes on the windows. Simple furnishings made her know, no one had ever called it 'home'.
Making her way to the end of the wall, she opened up the door to Spike's room. It was also in the same creamy colored walls as the other two rooms. A large four poster bed sat against the wall directly in front of the door with the dark forest green comforter covering the bed. It was silk and she smiled big, remembering how much he liked the way it felt against his skin...even though he would 'never' admit it to anyone.
The closet was off to the right and with a master bath off to the left. She peeked inside, same color scheme as the bedroom and she had to admit, this 'new' Spike was slowly going to blow her mind.
Walking back out of his room she walked back into the living room and found him on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table. Sitting in the chair she looked over at him and smiled.
"Well Spike, I'll have to admit...I'm impressed." she said giggling softly. "You've come along way from that ugly dank tomb you lived in."
Spike grinned at her. "Must have been all those bloody home shows Buffy and Dawn subjected me to over the years." he said laughing slightly. "Hard to get a 'good' show on the telly with those two around. Especially when they canceled Passions."
Ravyn rolled her eyes as she continued to smile at him. Looking around the room again, she leaned her head to the side as she looked at him. "So, where's it at?"
"Where's what?"
"Your 'telly'?" she asked grinning, noticing she didn't see one.
Spike grinned. "In the bedroom."
"Figures. Now you don't ever have to move, do you?"
The wall clock chimed and Ravyn looked over at it when it did. "It's getting late. Better get me back." she said, not really wanting to leave, but not wanting to stay either. Not yet.
Spike looked up at her when she stood and gave her a little nod of his head. "Right then." he said as he stood, taking there beers to the kitchen before returning.
Locking the door behind him, Spike followed Ravyn off the deck to his bike.
"You are soooo gonna have to get a car." Ravyn told him as he sat down, grinning at her as she cautiously approached.
"But it's more fun to travel this way." he said as she sat down and placed her arms around his waist.
"For you maybe." she told him, her fear starting to surface again.
Spike turned slightly and looked over his shoulder at her. He smiled and reached his hand up, holding her head while he leaned back, giving her a small kiss.
"You'll get use to it." he told her as he turned back around and started the bike.
Ravyn held on tight as he backed up and started for the road. The 'only' thing good about the motorcycle was being able to be close to him. As they took off, heading back to the hotel, she shut her eyes and tried not to think about how bad she wanted to hurl. Tightening her grip on him, she laid her cheek against his back and concentrated on him instead of her fear.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Angel was pacing the hotel lobby as Rob, Jesse and Blake sat around discussing a plan of action against finding the last two pieces of The Star Of Rameur. They wanted to head off for Brazil to retrieve the Blood Stone but Angel wasn't so sure that was such a good idea. If Ravyn knew where it was, she'd have to go with them. Keeping her safe from Trull was going to be hard enough without taking her into the jungles where he knew Trull would be heading soon.
"Well, we can't just wait around to see if Trull is going to make a move. He 'will' come after this piece. If we have both pieces...his chance to create the completed medallion are greatly decreased." Rob told Angel as he continued to pace around.
"I know that Rob.....but we can't risk putting her in any danger by taking her with us."
"Then what do you suggest we do then?"
Angel stopped and ran both hands through his hair. "I have no clue."
"Why can't we just go find this Trull guy and get rid of him. No Trull, no problem." Blake said, looking for a good fight.
Angel shook his head no. "Not a good idea. You don't know what that guy's like. He'd cut us down before we even made it to his door."
"He that bad?" Jesse asked.
"Yes...extremely bad." Angel answered him. "Nicholas Trull is the most dangerous vampire I've ever known. Well, heard of that is, never was crazy enough to go looking for him."
"So, you've never actually seen him then?"
"No"
"Then.....he could walk right in the door and we'd never even know it was him?" Blake asked, getting concerned.
Angel looked over at Blake, his eyes wide as he realized that Trull could do just that. All four men looked at each other as that concern washed over them and knew they'd be dead in minutes if that ever happened.
Everyone jumped as the front door flew open and Spike and Ravyn walked in.
"Gettin jumpy now are we?" Spike asked them smiling.
"Spike! can't you ever walk in like a normal person?" Angel asked, growling lightly.
"Well, if I 'was' a normal person I guess I.....would still do it that way." he told him smirking at their stunned faces.
Angel sighed and shook his head before glancing over at Ravyn. He smiled at her before looking back over at Rob.
"Look through Wes' old journal's...see if you can find a picture of him. We all need to know what to look for in case he comes himself instead of sending other's."
Ravyn knew immediately who they were talking about. Trull. She looked around the lobby, almost sure he'd pop out of the walls like some invisible demon, waiting for the right time to reclaim her.
Everyone saw her nervous behavior and instantly felt for her. They didn't know exactly what she had been through, but they could only imagine.
Spike walked closer to her and took her hand in his, entwining their finger's together. "He won't find you." he told her quietly.
"You don't know that." she said, her voice a little shaky as she did.
"Ravyn, we'll do everything we can to see that you're safe." Blake told her. "He'll have one more fight on his hands if he barges in here." he said smiling, trying to calm her fears.
Ravyn couldn't speak, just shook her head a little as she looked at him. She wanted to believe that they could protect her, but knew they'd all be dead for even trying.
Looking over at Spike, she knew 'his death' would be the one Trull wanted and she wondered if it were safe for 'them' if she stayed. She had alot to think about. She almost died once protecting him...and she'd do it again. Without him, life wasn't worth living....she had thirty years of proof to that.
"Ravyn, can you tell us where the fifth piece is?" Rob asked, hoping a slight change of subject would help calm her.
"Yeah, a church." she said trying to remember exactly where. "Old, somewhere away from town I think."
"You remember the name of it?" Jesse asked her.
Ravyn looked over at Jesse and tried to recall the name. "Not really. Started with an 'A' I think."
"An 'A'.....was it Altona?" Blake asked happily, knowing exactly where that was.
Ravyn looked over at him and smiled. "Yeah, I think that's it. They said something about it having old..."
"Catacombs under it." Blake finished her sentence smiling. "Yep...that's it."
"So, did they say where in the catacombs it was?"
"No" Ravyn said shaking her head.
"Well, it's a start I guess." Blake said looking over at the other's.
As the guy's started talking over plans to go to Altona, Ravyn pulled on Spike's hand a little to get his attention. "I'm going on up." she said smiling as she released his hand. "I'll see ya tomorrow." she added as she turned and hurried up the steps.
Spike watched her quick retreat and knew that all the talk of Trull had her freaked again. Sighing lightly he turned and looked over at Angel, motioning him away from the other's.
Angel followed Spike into the kitchen and shut the door behind him.
"Are we going to be able to handle Trull's men if they show up here?" Spike asked, getting concerned. "He had nearly fifty men when he was trying to open the Hellmouth, hard to tell how many he has now.
Angel leaned up against the counter as he looked at Spike. "I don't know. Depends on how many he sends. Maybe we should send her to Dawn's."
Spike looked at him and shook his head. "No, if he finds out where she is, they'll be sitting ducks over there alone. I'd feel better knowing she at least had some protection with you lot being here."
Angel gave Spike a nod, completely agreeing with him. "Dawn said she was a good fighter, think she's still able to hold her own?"
"Don't think so. She said she hadn't been in a fight in a while. If Trull wanted her weak, she's probably more out of shape than you are." Spike said, grinning at being able to get a jab in.
Angel rolled his eyes. "You just don't know when to give up do you?"
"You make it to easy." Spike said, giving him that irritating smirk Angel always wanted to smack off.
"Well, I guess I could train with her." Angel stated.
Spike leaned his head over to the side as he looked at Angel. "That's s'alright...think I can manage that." he told him, not wanting to let Angel near Ravyn any more than he had to.
Angel looked up at him, knowing full well that Spike could tell he had feelings for her. Sighing lightly he glanced down briefly before looking back up. "Look Spike, you don't have to worry, I'm not about to come in between you two."
Spike let out a small chuckle. "As if you could. She's completely out of your league peaches. You'd never be able to give her what she needed."
"And you can?" Angel asked him defensively.
"You damn well right I can and did!"
"You sure about that?" Angel asked him, knowing about the whole Spike/Buffy/Ravyn ordeal from Dawn. "Seems you never did give her your undivided attention."
"Look, you sodden ponce, I don't need you to tell me how I treated her!" Spike yelled, getting pissed Angel even brought up the subject.
"All I'm saying is as long as Buffy was around, I know you didn't think of Ravyn and only her. Did you even stop to think about how she felt when that was happening?"
Spike clenched his jaw tight as he glared at Angel. Why he was being so defensive of how his and Ravyn's relationship was, was beyond him.
"Oh, I see....You think that she was just something to tied me over till Buffy finally came around?"
"Well, wasn't she?"
Angel never even saw Spike move before his fist connected with his face. "You have NO idea what you're talking about!" Spike yelled out at him hatefully. "Stay away from her!" he added as he stormed out, leaving Angel holding his now bloody nose.
The guy's looked up as Spike stomped through the lobby and headed for the stairs. They had heard all the yelling and knew it was only a matter of time before that conversation was going to take place. Giving each other a quick glance, they decided to leave their discussion of it to a later time.
Spike made it up the stairs and paced around before going to Ravyn's door. He wanted to kill Angel for his remarks. Who did he think he was anyway? He had no idea what he and Ravyn had had.
*And what was that exactly?* he asked himself as he made long laps in the hall. *She loved me...I loved her* What more was there?
Ravyn could hear someone outside. Closing and tying her robe tightly, she walked to the door and cracked it open, peeking out a little.
She was surprised to see Spike pacing around like a caged jungle cat, talking to himself as he did. She wondered what had got him so worked up.
She opened the door wider and leaned up against the door frame, arms crossing over her chest and watched him. She couldn't make out what he was saying, but he was apparently having an intense conversation with himself.
"You know that will eventually cause you to go senile?" she told him smiling.
Spike stopped dead in his tracks when he heard her. He looked at her and could tell she had been there watching him longer than he would have liked. Walking over to her, he looked her straight in the eyes before finding the words to speak.
"Ravyn, did......" he started not sure of how to word his thoughts. "Well, before...when we were together.......did you ever feel....."
Ravyn looked up at him and could tell he was struggling with what he was trying to ask her. "Did I feel what?" she asked him softly.
Spike sighed and ran a hand through his hair, looking down the hall briefly before looking back at her. "Did you ever feel...like you weren't really wanted, or that I didn't love you?" he asked, knowing it wasn't really what he was trying to say.
Ravyn looked down briefly before looking back up. "Not all the time." she told him, almost whispering as her 'revelation' came back to her.
"When?" he asked her sadly.
Looking back down, Ravyn tried to get this all out. "When we were together....alone, I never felt it, but...."
"But what?" Spike asked, knowing where this was heading.
Ravyn looked back up at him. "But, when she was around, I knew. I knew I wasn't the one you really wanted." she said, fighting back her tears as she did.
Spike sighed and walked closer to her, laying a hand on the side of her face. "I'm so sorry Ravyn. I never meant to make you feel like that."
Ravyn smile weakly up at him. "I know......I understand now. Took me a while, but I finally realized it."
"Realized what?"
Ravyn swallowed the lump in her throat and wiped her eyes before the tears started. Looking up at him, she was determined to get this out.
"That you were never in love with me." she said quietly.
Spike stared at her. He didn't know what to say. What could he say.
"I spent alot of time thinking about what we had after I saw you and her in that cemetery. I wanted to believe it was just because I was gone, but deep down I knew better." she told him, her tears finally coming forward. "I was just something you needed in your life at that time."
"I did love you Ravyn, don't say that I didn't." Spike told her, his heart aching as he did.
Ravyn looked at him. "I know you did. But you 'weren't' in love with me Spike. You were 'in love' with the way I made you feel....You were 'in love' with the idea of...'me'...being in love with you. You were hurt and confused and you needed me."
Spike let her word's sink into his head. Was what she was saying real? Is that how he had felt?
"And as much as I 'still' love you Spike....I can't be something that you just need in your life." she told him, finally unable to control the flood of tears. "I need to be something you can't live without."
Spike looked at her face, saddened by her realization. He wiped her tears away and kissed her forehead before wrapping his arms around her waist, holding her tight. He buried his head in her shoulder as her arms went around him and she softly cried. All he ever wanted to do was take her pain away, but all he ever managed was to cause her more.
Running his hand up her back, he lifted his head and looked at her. Leaning down he kissed her. She had loved him and still did...even though he 'wasn't' in love with her. What kind of a person did that make her, to still love a man, who didn't return her feelings as strongly as she felt them?
The same kind he was, only instead of him and Buffy....it was him and Ravyn. He knew exactly what she was feeling...he had lived it.
As he broke the kiss, he smiled before laying his forehead against hers. "So, what now?"
Ravyn shrugged her shoulder slightly. "Depends."
"On what?" he asked, scared of her answer.
"On whether or not you could ever love me as much as I love you." she said, through her tears.
Spike smiled and placed his hands on either side of her face. "I think I could. Unless you're some deranged psychopath, only luring me in for the kill." he said, trying to lighten the mood.
Ravyn giggled at his statement. "You're the deranged on. I was just along for the ride." she told him smiling.
"So...you still willing to take the trip with me?"
Ravyn grinned up at him, "Yeah.....as long as it aint on that damned motorcycle."
Spike laughed as he once again wrapped his arms around her. "You're gonna learn to love that bike. Might even teach ya to drive it."
Ravyn's eyes went wide. "I don't think so....to either. I'll never like that thing."
"We'll see." Spike said, smiling at her. "Guess I better go then...unless...you want company?" he said, raising an eyebrow at her.
Ravyn giggled at him. "Yeah.....guess you better....GO!" she said before laughing as he stuck his lip out, trying to pout. "If we do this...we'll do it right this time."
"And shaggin's not the right way?" he asked her with that cute smirk she loved.
"NO...I want date's..real ones, and romance. All the good stuff we skipped the first time."
Spike rolled his eyes. "Women" he said with a sigh. "What is it with you girls and all that mushy stuff anyways?"
"If you want me...you're gonna have to prove it.....'with' all the mushy stuff."
"Fine.....romance and 'mushies' on the way." he said with a grin.
Ravyn smiled back at him. "Good...now go home." she said as she pulled back away from him.
Spike grabbed her before she got to far away. "Not so fast." he said as he pulled her back into his arms. "Not done with you just yet."
Ravyn grinned as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Glad to hear it" she said before leaning up, kissing him softly.
Spike returned the kiss, holding her tightly as he did. He was sure everything would be perfect this time. She still loved him and that was a start....only thing left to do, was figure out his 'true' feelings for her.
As the kiss ended, they smiled at each other, both being happy for the first time in more years than either wanted to remember.
"I'll see ya tomorrow then." Spike told her, still holding her tight.
"Yeah"
"Goodnight." he told her, giving her another quick kiss before pulling away from her.
"Night" Ravyn told him, smiling as he turned and walked down the hall. She watched him until he was out of sight before going back into her room, shutting the door behind her. Leaning up against it, she couldn't control the grin on her face as she turned and ran, jumping on the bed and buring her face in the pillow. *What a night* she thought, as she giggled quietly to herself.
~*~*~*~*~*
Angel watched from his perch, leaning against the wall as Spike bounced down the steps, big smile on his face as he walked to the door and left. He had heard almost all of the conversation he and Ravyn had had, not really intending on listening, but his enhanced hearing aided him without having to try to hard.
He knew Spike well enough to know that he'd go all out to make Ravyn happy. But, just being happy wasn't what she wanted. She wanted someone to 'love' her completely and wholly and Angel wasn't so sure Spike was going to be able to do that.
As he heard Spike's motorcycle crank up....he glanced up the stairs briefly before turning, heading for his office. He had alot to think about.
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