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Annie
Two hours later Tara joined Buffy, Xander and Spike at the Magic Box. Willow had stayed at the house, too engulfed in her own searching to even think about moving.
And Tara hadn’t wanted to ask her if she wanted to come with her and join the rest of the Scoobies, she was happy to see Willow so thoroughly enjoying being back in the loop of the wonders of electronics, instead of missing that part of her laid at rest with needing to do the magic stuff…
Tara had a right to be happy about it, but ‘laid at rest’ was the wrong term to use.
Willow got up off the couch, feeling that now so familiar gnawing start in the core of her spine just to travel up her back and into her shoulders, down her arms and beam out into her hands and fingers. The addiction was still too strong to ignore and she started pacing.
What had brought it on this time was a page taking forever to come up on the screen, what almost always brought her close to the edge was if the white page with ‘Unable to find’ or ‘Error’ came up instead of what she was looking for.
The blue horizontal line at the bottom of the screen moved teasingly slow and she turned away from it, continuing to pace.
“Oh!” she exclaimed, annoyed, leaving the computer and walking into the kitchen. “I’ll just… make myself something to eat. And then…the page will be up!” she instructed herself.
Then she walked up to the cabinet holding the bread, grabbing the bag and pulling it down she simultaneously opened the door to the cabinet holding jelly and peanut butter.
As she pulled out a drawer to grab a knife for the toppings of her sandwich she heard the front door open and then close with a loud bang.
“Buffy?” she called out.
“No,” Spike answered. “It’s just me.”
Willow turned to the door leading into the kitchen from the hallway as the vamp entered, smoking blanket in one hand. She couldn’t suppress a smile.
“That blanket…” she said, dipping the knife in the jelly jar and starting to spread a large quantity of the red mush on one of her bread pieces which she had placed on a plate. “Trusted friend by now, huh?” she finished and he looked down on it, then smiled, a little tentatively, back and nodded.
“I s’pose so,” he answered and she smiled wider.
“Hmh,” she said. “You should get another though. That one is getting some serious holes in it. Wouldn’t want to burn yourself.”
Now he stared at her for a moment, then asked:
“What’s with the all friendly, not at all on the edge attitude, Red?”
She shrugged, scraping of as much jelly as she could from the knife against the jars edge before moving it to the peanut butter and scooping out a huge blob of it.
“Woah, go easy there,” Spike advised with a slight smile, still waiting for an answer.
Willow put the knife down, smashed the two pieces of bread together and then turned to him.
“What do you think makes a man a man?” she asked before taking a bite out of her sandwich, an expression of pure enjoyment at it’s taste was mixed with a serious waiting for-an-answer one.
The question took Spike off guard and he looked rather surprised at her. But knowing her, even if it wasn’t very well and mostly based on loose observing, he knew that she usually didn’t ask a question out of the blue without having given it some serious thought. So why was she asking HIM this?
“Eh… “ he started, throwing the blanket on a stool and leaning against the wall behind him. “Honestly I dunno if I’m qualified to answer that… Been a while since I was one, and all, I mean.”
Willow chewed, swallowed, took another bite and chewed and swallowed that one as well before replying.
“There was a time when you scared me, Spike. When I couldn’t be in the same room as you without feeling a kind of chill down my spine, thinking of WHAT you where and WHAT you had done…” her voice sounded thoughtful as she continued. “Then, last summer, everything was so upside down. Buffy was gone and none of us could really deal with that, least of all me I guess… But even though you dealt with your own grief you somehow managed to do something none of us others really knew how to do…”
She looked at him, he realized he had stopped breathing at these words. He met her gaze, needing to know what she meant and hoping it showed in his eyes. He didn’t know what was wrong with him NOW but he couldn’t seem to open his mouth.
She smiled faintly before taking another chunk of her sandwich, of course chewing and swallowing before speaking up again.
Her voice was almost soft as she continued:
“You somehow shouldered Dawnie’s grief as well. You protected her, Spike. You loved her, I guess, in your own way. And whether or not you realized it, she depended on you from that very first moment after we saw Buffy… gone, when you were crying as much as the rest of us, and you walked up to Dawn and you held her. She is still depending on you, that’s for sure, but in another way… You’re like a brother to her now, and I don’t know if you’ve realized this but most of the time you act like one too. I guess that’s why I’m not scared anymore…”
“Chip got nothing to do with it then?” he asked wryly and she smiled the brightest smile she had ever turned his way.
“Of course the chip has SOMETHING to do with it… But I know I can trust you not to… I don’t know; just stand by while someone’s getting hurt. See, the Spike that came to Sunnydale with Drusilla would have probably just taken off, or done nothing in the way you have. But you didn’t. Anyways, what I’m trying to say is, I’m not freaked out by you anymore, Spike… I’m not so focused on the ‘what’ of things but at the WHY. And the reason you were the kind of vampire you were before was because of Drusilla’s bad company…and your demon, but let’s skip that,” she said hurriedly, smiling briefly before continuing. “The reason you are the kind of vampire you are now is because you choose to, and other aspects too I suppose,” she hesitated there, looking at him for a moment before coming to some sort of decision not to touch the subject of his often stated love for Buffy. “Anyways, the way you are around Dawn… I just think that makes you qualified to answer my question,” she finished, biting into her sandwich once more.
He took everything she had just said in, let it sink slowly, nestling into his thoughts.
The demon in him was wailing at the fact of her not fearing him, demanding audience to come out and scare the living hell out of the witch. But he shrugged at that thought, almost laughed at it. Yeah, that’d be a great way to alienate himself from the Scoobies for all eternity, wouldn’t it? And from Buffy…
He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. Then opened them again, looking at her. She was Buffy’s best friend. This girl that had been a geek and then a witch on a power trip and now…
“That was bloody deep, Red…” he mumbled, not knowing exactly what to say, then he added: “Did you mean it?”
Willow looked slyly at him for a moment, with a sudden hint of laughter in her eyes. Then she nodded firmly.
“Yes,” she answered him simply.
He tried to push down the slightly warm feeling starting to circle in his chest.
Bloody hell, am I gonna start crying like the perfect little monkey boy now or something? he thought wretchedly, and still a smile started to curl his lips.
“Well then,” he said. “What makes a man a man? That’s a tough question… I guess you could say… “ he thought for a moment longer and the answer was out of his mouth before he had a chance to stop it: “The people who care for him…if they can look up to him, if they can trust him.”
Willow eyed him closely.
“Good answer,” she said.
***
Close to nine o’clock that evening a tired group of people walked through the door of the house. Willow was still in front of the computer; she had been there ever since Spike had left that afternoon with the diaries he had come to get.
She had felt rather strange actually venting her thoughts to the vampire, but she had had them for a little while and the way he sometimes seemed to walk on egg shells, even if that meant stomping on them as hard as he could to annoy everybody else, had finally gotten to her. There was a strange kind of bond between their strange little ensemble of beings, and she had wanted him to know that no matter what she respected him for the affection he showed Dawn.
She looked up as the gang walked in.
Xander threw himself down on the couch with an exhausted grunt, and then he smiled at her.
“Hey, Will,” he said and she smiled back.
“Nothing?” Buffy asked as she came up to stand beside her.
“Well, we talked fifteen minutes ago, remember? Didn’t have anything then, don’t have any more now,” Willow answered, not quite able to hold back the impatience in her voice.
A whole day in front of the computer did that to her, she supposed.
Buffy put a hand on her shoulder.
“Sorry, Will. I guess we’re all kinda tired.”
Buffy herself was so tired she felt she could just sleep standing. Dear God, how she hated the books. And now patrolling beckoned.
Yay for best way to spend a day off from work, she thought sarcastically in her head as her eyes met Spike’s.
He had been acting weird ever since he got back with the diaries Tara had requested. Practically grinning at her as soon as their eyes met. She had wanted to ask him what the whole thing was about all day and now she was too tired to stay away from the subject anymore. She walked towards the kitchen, shooting him one glance and he immediately understood, following her.
“What, Slayer? Up for a little midnight ‘snacking’?” he asked as she turned to him.
She smiled a humorless smile.
“It’s not midnight,” she stated. “And the ‘snacking’ I think we both know is over and done with,” she added and he sighed, shrugging.
“Can’t blame a bloke for trying,” he mumbled, then put on the smug face she knew so well and added: “So, is there a reason for this little meeting or are you just set on tempt and destroy?”
She didn’t avert her gaze from his this time, not for a second, but her insides started tumbling with something that felt close to laughter.
Did he HAVE to make jokes like that?
“My reason,” she said, with effort controlling the emotion threatening to, in this instance, reveal its ugly head, “is that you have been grinning the whole day and it’s driving me crazy! So, could you please stop it?”
He adopted a serious expression at her words, nodding his understanding, looking as though he was thinking her request over. Then he said:
“No,” before turning around and walking back into the living room.
“Spike!” she hissed after him, but he ignored her and walked in to sit in the armchair by the couch.
She followed him reluctantly, and as she entered the room he turned to her, the grin slapped across his face once more.
How I would like to BREAK it off ! she thought, immediately the image of a fallen down building and soft sunlight hinting through the cracks between the bricks came into her head and her eyes widened a little as she quickly shook it off. Oh, can’t he just LEAVE Sunnydale? she now thought, her eyes at him as he started to engage in that non-stop bickering he and Xander had going. Everything would be easier if he just left without looking back!
Then the front door opened and a paint stained but laughing Dawn came in with Tara, who had picked her up from Lisa’s.
“And THEN we almost feel off the ladder ‘cause he scared us so bad!” Dawn said and Tara laughed with her.
“What? Who scared you?” Buffy asked worriedly, not picking up on the ever so precious laughter and taking a few steps towards her sister.
“Oh, nothing like THAT!” Dawn discarded her anxiety with a smile as Tara and her came into the living room. “Lisa’s dad has this chronicle disease with scaring people when they least expect it, and no, not the kind where his body changes into something disgusting, he only jumps out and screams ‘booh!’. You know, the halloweeny kinda thing. Well, I dunno if it’s REALLY a disease,” she added, throwing her back pack down on the floor and walking over to Spike to sit at one of the arms of the chair. “I mean, that’s just what Lisa calls it,” she added with another laugh and Buffy stared at her, rather amazed.
It had been a long time since she had seen Dawn so happy.
Then her sister bent down and gave Spike a big hug, him whispering something in her ear that made her smile even wider, the gesture making something twitch near Buffy’s heart and she almost labeled it as jealousy, but then it was gone and she didn’t bother. Dawn now jumped to her feet and skipped over to throw herself on the by now half a sleep Xander.
“Ouuu,” he wailed as she landed on his stomach and then he started tickling her.
Buffy smiled at the sight.
Dawn broke free with a scream of cheerfulness and went over to Willow, who smiled at her.
“Going up to bed?” Willow asked and Dawn shook her head.
“No, I wanna know everything about the mirror first,” she answered before bending down to give her a hug. “Thank you,” Willow heard her whisper close to her ear.
She smiled to herself, knowing exactly what she meant.
“Ah, he had it coming, vamp or no,” she answered and she could feel Dawn smile against her cheek before pulling away and straightening her back.
“So,” Dawn said, the expectation high in her eyes as she continued, “what have you found out about the mirror?”
Buffy sighed inwardly, she didn’t know how to tell her sister that they had spent practically twelve hours at the Magic Box and come up with nothing.
“We only know that it’s old, niblet,” Spike suddenly said and everybody’s eyes were turned to him.
The sparkle in Dawn’s eyes faded considerably at learning this fact, but some of it was still there.
“Oh, and how do we know that?” Xander asked, sitting up. “You found something and didn’t tell us?”
Spike smiled.
“No,” he then answered, still turned to Dawn. “BUT I have seen it before and it’s so long ago that I can’t really remember, and so the conclusion: it’s pretty bloody old.”
Xander backed off with a sigh, leaning back against the cushions of the couch.
Buffy turned to Dawn.
“I’m sorry we didn’t find anything…” she said tryingly and Dawn smiled a little, nodding.
“I know,” she stated and then turned to the mirror. “It’s just…it’s SO pretty. I don’t want it to be in the basement like forever!”
“It won’t be,” Tara said, reassuringly.
She had slowly made her way across the room to where Willow was seated.
Then Dawn suddenly gasped. Buffy looked at the slightly scared expression on her face and then she turned to the mirror.
“What did you see?” Buffy asked.
“I…I…” Dawn mumbled. “I don’t know, really… I-it looked like…another room.”
Buffy turned back to the mirror, now observing it keenly as she heard both Xander and Spike getting to their feet and Willow slowly standing as well.
“Another room?” Xander asked slowly. “Okay, there goes the hope of this mirror, having no REAL history,” he emphasized the ‘real’ with a glare at Spike, “making it completely normal.”
Spike glared back, then just directed his eyes back at the artifact.
Suddenly he saw it too; a brief glimpse of another room appearing underneath the surface of the glass. The others all drew a simultaneous breath as well and he understood that they had all seen it this time.
“What’s happening?” Dawn mumbled as the mirror started to grow darker.
“Let’s smash it!” Xander exclaimed taking a step forward, but Spike reached out a hand and grabbed a firm hold of his arm, holding him back without releasing the mirror with his eyes.
“No…” he said in a low voice. “Just hold on a minute…”
“In a minute we’ll all be DEAD!” Xander said, turning to the vampire. “Haven’t you been a part of this gang long enough to KNOW that?”
“Hey,” Buffy said, her eyes on the mirror as well. “The only one dying on these occasions seem to be yours truly, so let it go and… I think something’s happening.”
The mirror glass was so dark it looked black, but there were small scatters of light in it.
Suddenly a wave seemed to gently flow through it and in the next moment a delicate shoe with a matching foot took a step out of it, putting itself down on the floor in front of the frame.
Spike let Xander’s arm go, Xander now too mesmerized with what was happening right before his eyes to even notice, then he took a few steps forward. Buffy registered Spike walking past her, then that he had stopped, but her eyes still wouldn’t budge from the mirror.
The flow of the blue skirt of a lady’s dress followed the foot and then all of a sudden the upper body of a young woman. The woman took yet another step and left the mirror standing behind her back, the glass now slowly going back to it’s normal neutral color.
The dress she was wearing was absolutely stunning in blue velvet that was low cut at the neck, showing her milky white skin and the fabric flowed gently from her hips, surrounding her feet and spreading on the floor. She was looking down, her eyes evidently closed, and her arms hung at her sides.
Her dark hair was put up in a pretty due on her head and around her neck a little chain of silver with some kind of charm, which none of them really could see, glittered.
Spike took another step forward and at the movement all of the others seemed to break out of their hypnosis.
Before they had a chance to really react the woman slowly lifted her head.
Her face was common but pretty none the less, her eyes were striking though; as blue as the sky and the color in them enhanced by the color of her dress. They searched around the room for a moment and then they locked on Spike.
Buffy stared at the lady before her, and then followed her gaze to the vampire.
“Sarah?” he suddenly said slowly.
The woman first started to look relieved and then an expression of pain shot up in her face as she put one hand tightly on her stomach.
“William,” she sighed and then she dropped un-conscious to the floor.
And what hit Buffy the most was the absolutely stricken expression growing on Spike’s face.
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