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Necessary Evils

Barb

7*

"Honey, you already knew she wasn't happy about it."
         Willow made no response.  She kept walking along the gravel path, faster than she should have in a graveyard in the dark.  She could hear Tara’s footsteps behind her as she turned off between a pair of huge old cypresses, weaving through the tombstones towards the fence.  The grounds keepers seldom penetrated this far.  The footpath was faint and the ground uneven, and what graves lay here among the winter-dead grass were untended, perfect spots for tradition-minded vampires to bury their fledglings.  Restfield (#5 in the Sunnydale Cavalcade of Death-Related Locations) was a mid-sized cemetery and one of the oldest in town, which meant it was a tough patrol.
         Some of the newer ones, with their acres of small, tasteful, flat-to-the-ground tombstones to facilitate the use of riding lawnmowers, could be covered in fifteen minutes or less: stand in the middle and take a quick look round for disturbed graves and you were off.  Here you had to hunt through a maze of baroque (and often broken) old headstones and mausoleums.  Ironically, it would have been easier had it not been that this was the cemetery where Spike’s crypt was located: he strongly discouraged other vampires from horning in on his territory, so any newbie vamps to be found were invariably far off the beaten path, hidden away in some secluded corner.
         Willow gripped her stake tightly, feeling the comforting smoothness of the wood against her palm.  Why wood? she'd asked once, in a moment of scientific curiosity.  Why not cold iron or silver or milled polyurethane?
 It had taken Tara a moment to realize the question was a serious one.  Because wood's something that was once alive and now is dead, too.  She'd gone on to explain the answers to all the other questions: Sunlight because they're creatures of darkness.  Fire because it's a piece of the sun.  Decapitation because it breaks the cord between head and heart.  All things which would sever the bond between human mind and body and the demon soul which animated them, and allow you to kill a vampire.
         The answers had been obvious ones to Tara.  She insisted that there was a logic to it, a logic of intuition and emotion.  Willow didn't see it; what possible connection was there between shoving a vampire into the sunlight and driving a stake through their hearts?  But Tara saw all kinds of connections which eluded Willow.  If bad luck followed the casting of a spell, Willow automatically assumed it was coincidence.  Tara, born to a family of witch-women, feared and despised by her male relatives, and raised in a community steeped in tales about the evil nature of magic, automatically assumed that the spell was at fault.  When she thought about it, Willow really couldn’t blame her love for her irrational conviction that every minor spell held the seeds of doom.
         "You know how Buffy always holds everything in,” Tara went on, “and then it boils over at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way.  When you've both calmed down, maybe you could--"
         "I am calm," Willow said.  Anyone else might have believed her.  They'd reached the fence, which was overgrown with climbing vines, queen’s-wreath and mile-a-minute.  The leaves were starting to turn red-bronze in the fall chill and drop away, leaving the wiry stems behind, coiled tightly around the iron bars.  She stopped and leaned against the fence, burying her face in the dusty-smelling foliage.  Dry, curling leaves collected in her hair.  "I'm just completely on my own here.  I know the rest of you think I did something terrible, bringing Buffy back.  The only one who backed me up was Spike.  I couldn’t even have done it without his help, but as the Slayer goes, so goes Spike, so now he's switched sides."
         Tara leaned up against the wall beside her, folding her arms across her chest.  "Maybe that should tell you something."
         Willow's face grew bitter.  "What, that he wants to get in Buffy's pants as badly as she wants to get in his?"  At Tara's soft cry of shock Willow's shoulders slumped and she buried her face in her hands.  "I didn't mean that!" she wailed.  "Spike understood why I had to bring her back!  But the moment she is back he's all stuck to her like Superglue and 'Oooh, I was wrong', it's like they've got this treehouse with a big NO WILLOWS ALLOWED sign and every time I see them together I'm all 'No fair, she should be that happy to see me too!' but I know she wants me to apologize and I CAN'T, I can't lie to her and say I think I was wrong when I wasn't, and Spike apologizes for all the wrong reasons and gets a pat on the head so there's all this--this meanness rolling around inside me all tangled up like evil socks in a clothes dryer!  And then I say something rotten to Spike so of course he goes and hides in Buffy's treehouse and if I had just one person to talk to who understood it would be ok but the--"
         She felt Tara's hands on her shoulders, heard Tara's voice murmuring something soft and meaningless, smelled the familiar wool scent of Tara's favorite blue worsted patrolling sweater.  It would be so sweet to sink into the other woman's comforting embrace, but Tara's sympathy was all a sham, and deep down Tara thought she'd done a horrible thing too.  Still she couldn't resist the urge to butt her head into the soft scratchy blue doubleknit and cry out all her frustration and anger.  "Sweetie, you're tired, you're scared, you're not thinking straight. " Tara stroked her hair.  "There's nothing happening here tonight.  Let's go find Buffy and tell her we’re going home.  I'll fix you some tomato soup and we can get some sleep and tomorrow we can figure out how to deal with all this."
         Willow snuffled.  "I don't want to talk to Buffy about anything."
         "You've got to see her sooner or later.  We all live in the same house."
         “And whose stupid idea was that?”  Her own, of course.  Give Buffy an income, however small, and some help with Dawn, but more importantly, try to turn back the clock to those first roommate days in college when the two of them had still been close, before classes and boyfriends and girlfriends and differences and death had driven that wedge between them, every day a little deeper.
         "What's that?"
         Willow felt Tara's hands tense on her shoulders, and the shift of Tara’s body as she looked up, back out towards the main path. The crunch of footsteps on gravel grew louder--too loud for a vampire, surely, unless it was a very clumsy one--but there were things other than vampires out there.  Scrubbing her sleeve furiously across her stinging eyes, Willow straightened up and began readying a spell; nothing fancy, just a simple fire-starting cantrip.  It would be equally effective against both vampires and humans, and at least marginally painful for about fifty percent of the demons they'd be likely to run up against.  She shifted the stake to her right hand and groped for Tara's hand with her left.   Tara gave her hand a squeeze and together they crept forward, ducking low under the bare trailing branches of her namesake tree.  The long slender leaves underfoot didn't rustle at their passing; Tara's gift, not hers.  Her love's hand in hers was at once reassuring and childish, a sweet embarrassment; it had been months, almost a year, since she'd had to pool her magic with Tara in order to cast spells.  Until the Raising spell had gone wrong, she'd had power to spare.
         They dropped to their knees behind a moss-grown gravestone (Selma Kingston, 1891-1963, Beloved Wife and Mother) and peered out at the path through the willow branches.  The gravel stood out pale and glowing against the dark grass.  A figure stood in the middle of the path, twenty or so feet distant, looking back and forth along the length of the walk.  In the mingled light of distant streetlamp and the near-full moon he seemed indubitably human--a dark-haired, middle-aged man in drab, anonymous clothing, with a face that might once have been kind.  Now every other emotion had been subsumed in resigned weariness.
         Buffy looks like that.
         "Do you think he's just lost?" Willow whispered.
         Tara's intent gaze never left the man's face.  "Oh, yes..." she breathed.  She shook herself a little and continued in a more matter-of-fact tone, "He's lost."
         Willow rubbed her nose, wishing she had some Kleenex.  Why weren't there any post-sobfest anti-runny-nose spells?  Maybe she could make one up and make a fortune and pay off Buffy's plumbing bills and everyone would like her again... "We should go talk to him, or he'll end up as some vamp's chew-toy."
         "I think that's the point.  He's out here hoping to get killed."  At Willow's horrified expression Tara shrugged.  "Some people strike out.  Some of us strike in."
         "There will be no striking in any direction," Willow said firmly, getting to her feet.  Here was a concrete problem she could deal with.  Sort of.  At least they could get the guy out of the cemetery and into some more vamp-free area of town. "Hello?" she called, scrambling to her feet and brushing grass off the knees of her leggings.
         The man twitched violently and spun round to face the sound of her voice, his hands trembling.  Not the reaction of someone incredibly dangerous.  Willow edged out from behind the tombstone.  "Hey.  Mister.  It's not safe out here."
 

         Something had called to the cold dark thing coiling within him, some silver-sharp pain which pierced it as the stars pierced the sky overhead--for the most part invisible in the greater light of the moon and the sleeping town below, but there all the same.  It reeled him towards it on a thousand thousand individual skeins of agony, threaded on needles of white fire, and when the pull at last abated there they stood, rising out of the ground all fey and woodsy, crowned in dead leaves with moonlight spilling from their eyes.
         The Witches.
         He hadn't expected to find any of them so quickly.  Days, he'd thought, days before his path crossed any of theirs, for all that the world of Sunnydale after dark was a small one, and all the paths that ran through it twisted into one another.  But here they were.  "It's not safe out there," the Red Witch said, and the pain behind her eyes sang to him.  The White Witch hung back.  She knew.  She had eyes to see the void within him, where the Red Witch saw only skin over bones.
         "Not safe anywhere," he said, and it came out a raspy croak because his throat was so tight with the effort of keeping in the dark.  "I thought it would be him, with the moon in his hair.  The thread to pull, the Tower struck by lightning."  That was right, more than right; he'd seen it on the night the walls of the world came down, the vampire falling, falling, falling from the Dark Tower, setting even as the Slayer rose with the sun only to fall in her turn.
         The Red Witch looked confused.  Tanner felt a great need to explain to her--it wasn't out of malice, any of this, and it seemed important to let her know that.  "He is a creature of evil.  He's making the swing go too high."  That hadn't come out right.  She was still advancing on him, her movements slow and dreamy, steps in an unfamiliar dance.  Tanner backed away.  He couldn’t just cut in.  The world was all over strings, and how was he to know which was the right thread to tug on?
         “Are you all right?” the Red Witch asked.
         “I don’t think so,” he said, nervous.  He backed up a few steps, reluctant to leave the path.  The trees loomed up on either side, lithe, restless willows and hoary cypresses.  Trees fit for a place of death.  Lovely, dark and deep, lions and tigers and bears, oh my--could he drop a house on her, perhaps?  He banged into something hard and cold, and looked up.  The monument rose over him in the moonlight, stark, but not pure: the white marble was tarnished, stained with streaks of black and rust from decades of winter rains, the angel with the sword upraised in his defense.
         “It’s OK.  Just come with us.  We can take you--
         “Willow, I think he's--"
         The Red Witch reached for him, her pale hands glowing--moonlight, or something else?  Words, what were the words?  He couldn’t do anything without the words!  His hand shot out, fingers crooked, and grasped the cold marble shin of the statue.  “Them bones, them bones, them dry bones,” he choked out.  Not what he wanted to say, not at all.  “Gonna walk around, now hear the word of th-the... Lord of the Crossroads, hear me!”  With shaking hands he pulled a  bottle from his pocket, ancient little sample-sized bottle of Captain Morgan’s Jim had found in a dumpster behind the liquor store last week, part of some junked advertising display.  Lizzie’d wanted to drink it but he’d known it would come handy for more than a thimbleful of oblivion.  He fumbled with the cap and it came off at last, releasing the heady odor of half-evaporated rum.  “You thirsty, I give you drink.”  He splashed it out onto the grave-dirt at his feet and it soaked into the dry ground in seconds.  He flung the bottle at the Witch, who yipped and hopped back.
         “What are you doing?” she shouted.
         Tanner ignored her, caught up in the mangled spell he was crafting.  From another pocket he drew a cellophane packet of crumbling cheese crackers and ripped it open, scattering crumbs on the damp earth.  “You hungry, I give you food.  Come you now, Papa Ghede, take your horse and ride--”
         “This was not the plan!” the eyeless man shouted, dancing on the grass.  It died beneath his feet, leaving a trail of vegetative hieroglyphs behind him.  The ground beneath Tanner’s feet heaved, cracks appearing in the sod.  A ghastly smell wafted upwards and Tanner’s stomach revolted, though he had nothing to rid himself of and only bile burned its way up his throat and into his mouth.  He knew, as the arm thrust its way up into the night air, that he’d made a mistake, but he couldn’t think what it was he should have done.  The ground buckled, and the earth cracked open with a sharp metallic retort like a steel girder snapping.
         You one crazy horse, boy, a deep, inhuman voice said in his ears.  But no horse can carry two rider.  Less you throw the one you got, I got to walk.
         Tanner fell back on his ass, whimpering as the thing he’d called shambled up out of the stinking earth, tall and gaunt and grinning, trailing dirt from the ragged edges of its long black coat.  Its eyes shone like polished obsidian beneath the brim of the battered top hat, and wads of cotton draggled out from its ears and nostrils--corpse-wrappings.
         The Red Witch didn’t back away.  She stood her ground, shouting words Tanner’d known once, pulling moonlight from the air as the long black arm reached down for her.  Magic crackled around her, arcing like tame lightning from finger to finger and lashing out at the looming figure overhead.  Her eyes were black as night, black as the open grave, her clenched teeth white behind drawn lips, her hair leached of color under the pale moon but possessing still some quality of flame as it licked about her face.  “Ignite!” she screamed as the hands came down to close about her, long fingers like the roots of trees entangling her in their grasp.  The magic leaped up--
         And the magic died away.
         It fizzled out like cheap fireworks, leaving the witch small and scared and alone in front of the loa.  Tanner, from his refuge at the feet of the stone angel, could see her eyes, normal now and gone wide and terrified with the sudden knowledge of her own vulnerability.  Above Ghede’s laughter he heard her shrill, desperate voice babbling the words to half a dozen spells.  And there was no power behind it, none at all, and Ghede laughed.  Laughed, and swung her about in a merry, obscene dance step, singing.

         Si koko te gen dan li tap manje mayi griye,
         Se paske li pa gen dan ki fe l manje zozo kale!

         “More rum!”  The loa whirled his unwilling partner aside, almost carelessly, to turn his attention upon the White Witch.
         “Tara!” the Red Witch screamed before all the air was driven from her body as she hit the ground.  She rolled across the ravaged turf, a limp, helpless ball, to come to a halt against Tanner’s monument, and lay there drawing in ragged painful breaths and clawing at the stone with both hands, trying to drag herself upright.  “Tara,” she sobbed, but whether the word was a cry for help or a wail of despair was impossible to say.
         “Now!” the eyeless man howled.  “Now, while you have the chance!”
         Tanner crawled to his knees, the moonlight singing in his ears.  The Red Witch lay splayed out on the grass before him, silver tear-tracks streaking her face.  Power buzzed within him, tingling down his arms and through his fingers, his own slight talent and the cold oily tide of power surging over it.  He remembered now.  She was the one who’d shown him this spell was possible, on the night when the walls came down.  “I’m sorry,” he said earnestly.  “I’m really sorry.”
        And said the right words, in the right order, as he plunged his fingers right into her skull.
 

          It was better to get it all out in the open, Buffy assured herself.  Or most of it.  Really.  No more festering resentment. Yep, now we have non-festering, out-of-the-closet resentment instead.  Much better.   She ducked under a low-hanging branch and touched the stake shoved into her belt briefly.  She was too wrung out to be angry at this point; everything that was wrong with her life, starting with the fact that she was living it again, just kept trudging around and around in her brain, each worry biting at the tail of the one in front of it.  She had to find a job.  Was that fresh earth?  Quick check... only gophers.  Walk on.  Without a degree she wasn't qualified for anything that paid decently.  Let's face it, not qualified for anything much but slaying vampires anyway, unless someone's in the market for a really violent aerobics instructor.  Willow was mad at her and jealous of Spike.  She was mad at Willow, and...here she was, back from the dead for a month, walking through a graveyard at midnight, trying to come to terms with the fact that she felt most alive in the company of a dead man.
          I want him.
          Let's get that out of the way now, OK?  I want Spike. I want to peel that stupid black shirt off like the skin off a grape.  Want to lick him all over like a vampire popsicle.  Want my hands on that body, want those hands on my body.  Want that sweet, cruel, vulnerable, passionate mouth.  Oh, yeah.  Lips of Spike.  Buffy want.
         Spike, lounging on the couch between her and Dawn and smiling at her sister with a wondering affection when he thought no one was looking.  Spike, talking soaps with her mother over hot cocoa.  Spike, huddled on the sarcophagus, whispering I'd rather die through lips almost too bruised and swollen to speak.  Spike, eyes alight over the fact that she'd read and liked some old poem.  Spike, giving up his soul a second time for her sake, willing to let Willow's botched resurrection spell destroy him in order to save her.  Spike, tossing off a snarky quip that left her snickering and trying oh-so-hard not to show it.
         Spike, fangs tearing into the throat of the guard who'd shot her, even as the chip shocked him half-senseless and all right, maybe that counted as self-defense but--Spike, licking blood from his lips with complacent satisfaction afterwards.  Spike, not giving a single solitary damn whether the man had lived or died.
          A tombstone cracked under the force of her kick.  Buffy want was one thing.  Buffy get was something else.  Her eyes swept the rows of moonlit graves as she stalked along the cemetery fence, one with the shadows, searching for something she could take out all her frustration on, something she could hunt, something she could slay.  Irony sucks.  She'd forgiven Spike his trespasses, but she couldn't afford to forget them.  He’d killed tens of thousands of people in his century-plus of existence, and for all the astonishing things he'd done in the past year, she still had no idea what would happen on the day that the chip in his skull ceased to function and he was once again free to attack humans.   Sometimes she could believe that he felt something akin to regret for what he was, even if remorse for what he’d done was beyond him, but was that enough?
          The scary thing was, the ethical tangle wasn’t bothering her half as much as the emotional tangle--the fact that he was, potentially, a remorseless killer never left her thoughts, but it was taking a definite second place to the fact that he was Spike, and he loved her.  She’d be the thing that gutter slime scraped off the bottom of its shoes if she took advantage of that love just to get her rocks off.  She liked him too much to do that to him and how sick was it that she liked someone who was only a step or two away from seeing human beings as take-out, and if you liked someone and wanted them at the same time, was that love, and if so, why didn't it feel like either the swoony delirium she'd felt for Angel or the safe, comfortable thing she'd felt for Riley and why the HELL wasn't there anything for her to beat up tonight?
          The scream caught her off-guard, but she was in motion before it died away.  About time.
          Buffy sped through the cemetery, ducking branches and dodging
headstones as they loomed up out of the darkness.  The noise had come from the eastern side of the lot, in the direction Willow and Tara had gone.  There was very little Willow couldn't handle, and she was more worried that whatever it was would be reduced to its component molecules long before she got there than anything else.  The run was exhilarating in itself, the steady rhythm of her breathing in counterpoint against her footfalls on the uneven ground.  She heard another scream--definitely Willow--and a ghost of unease coalesced in her breast, pounding along with her heart.
           Instead of dodging the next tombstone, she took it in stride, kicking off the top and leaping upwards to the roof of the nearest mausoleum.  Dry leaves scattered beneath her feet as she landed on the summit.  She straightened and shielded her eyes from the city glow and moonlight with one palm, surveying the panorama spread out on all sides, rank upon irregular rank of headstones meandering off into the darkness beneath the bordering willows.
          The figure threading its way nimbly through the headstones was human, and wasn’t--a young woman with long tawny hair who had to be Tara, but who moved as she’d never seen Tara moving, in a jerking, bawdy parody of a dance.  She was singing in no language Buffy knew, though a few words here and there sounded vaguely French, pirouetting about a large marble statue.  Two more dark figures crouched in the grass at its base.  A shadow followed Tara as she moved, its movements her movements, its laughter her laughter, something larger than human and not quite there.  Look straight on and there was nothing but Tara, but in the corners of her vision Buffy caught glimpses of a long black coat, a tall top hat, an ebony face that was somehow oddly familiar.  Tara paused her dance as Buffy watched, looking up as if sensing her presence, and a huge grin split her face.  “Hey now!  I hungry, thirsty--you bring me rum, ti-blanc?  You bring me cigars?  Kill me a rooster?” The voice was deep and rich and inhuman and reminded her of... someone.
         “Tara?” Buffy jumped down from the mausoleum and advanced on the other girl cautiously.  “Tara, is that you?” Tara danced lightly away, a lascivious grin lighting her face.
         “Oh ho, rooster’s not the cock you want, hm?”  She wiggled her hips suggestively.  “You want advice, ti-blanc?  You want luck?  You want ask questions of Papa Ghede?  You want this horse again?  You follow the rules, you got to feed me. Bring me my rum, by damn!”
         Buffy looked from Tara to the crumpled heap which was Willow and the cowering stranger beside her.  She was at the statue in three furious strides, hauling the man up by his collar and shaking him.  “What’s wrong with her?” she yelled.  “What did you do?  Turn it off!”
         “I--I--” the man stammered, clearly terrified.  “She’s being ridden by the loa.  Ghede.”  Buffy stared at him.  “I don’t know how it happened!” he gasped.  “I’m not... not that powerful.  I didn’t even invoke Legba to open the gates to the spirit world--this shouldn’t have happened.  Something called him here.  Not me.  Not me!”
         He wouldn’t look her in the eyes, and kept staring at his hands in horror and loathing--he was lying, she was sure about that, but how much and about what she had no idea.  “Who’s this Ghede when he’s at home? Is he dangerous?”
         The man’s chin jerked up, and he looked at her as if she were insane.  “Of course he’s dangerous!  But if you treat him right there’s...You need to get some offerings.  Food, candy, alcohol--not much, Ghede’s a nasty drunk and you don’t want to meet his Baron Samedi aspect--kill a chicken in his honor, something!  Then he’ll answer your questions and dismount.  He knows everything the dead know.  Otherwise--”
         “What?”
         The man swiped the lank dark hair from his forehead, shivering in her grasp.  “I don’t know.  Ghede’s not malevolent... usually.  But he’s unpredictable.  He could ride her till she drops.  He could get bored and leave.  He could walk her in front of a bus.  So you need to hurry--”
         “Willow,” Buffy interrupted.  “How badly is she hurt?”
         “Red Witch,” the man whispered, his eyes going curiously blank.  He shook himself.  “I don’t know.  She fell.”
 Buffy stood there, rigid, then let go the stranger’s collar.  He fell back with a little yelp and sprawled in the grass.  “Keep her here,” she said, her voice as flat and deadly as she could make it.  “I’ll be right back.”
         It took five minutes, maybe, for her to race across the cemetery and bang perfunctorily on the door of Spike’s crypt before kicking it in.  She knew the moment she went in that he wasn’t here; the electric sense of his presence was missing and the place felt empty.  She began a methodical search of the upper level, and eventually found what she was looking for in a crate next to the mini-fridge--the bottles of Jack Daniels Spike had picked up at Willy’s the previous night, still in their brown paper bags.  After a moment’s hesitation she grabbed one, tucked it under her arm, and tore out of the crypt at top speed.
         When she got back to the angel monument, the strange man was gone, and Willow had pulled herself up to a sitting position and was leaning back against the pedestal of the statue, giggling at nothing, her eyes deep empty pools you could dive into and get lost in.  No one else was in sight and for a cold horrid moment Buffy thought Tara was gone too.
         “Boo!” Tara yelled in that not-Tara voice, jumping out from behind the statue.
         Willow began clapping.  “‘Ray!” she cried.  “Round and round and round and round!”
         Buffy ripped the brown paper wrapper off the bottle and held it out.  “Here!  Here’s your offering!  Now get out of Tara and leave!”
         The inhuman laughter rang out again.  “How you think I appreciate a sacrifice, ti-blanc?”  Tara’s hand shot out and snatched the bottle.  She worried the top off and tipped it back, swallowing greedily, with loud gulping and smacking noises.  “Eeeeeeeeeeeeyah!  It not rum, but it do.”  She twirled off into another dance step.  “My houngan done run off, but he a sorry piece of shit anyway.”  Tara flopped to the ground cross-legged and took another swig of whiskey, grinning widely and running the tip of her tongue over her teeth, a strangely familiar gesture.  “You got three questions, ti-blanc.”
         “The cat asked for a pair of russet leather boots,” Willow informed her, her elfin face grave.  Buffy shot an anguished look at Willow, then rounded on Tara-Ghede again.
         “What’s wrong with her?”
         The bone-shivering chuckle again.  “You already know the answer, ma petite.  Her ti-bon-ange sicker than hell.  She crazy.”
         How unfair was it that she couldn’t punch that smug face in without hurting Tara?  Buffy ground her teeth.  “How can we fix what’s wrong with her?”
         “You can’t.  Last question, ti-blanc.  Make it good.”
         Her mind went blank, and the world held still.  Ghede knows everything the dead know.
         “Can I trust Spike?”
         Tara-Ghede threw back her head and laughed.  “As much as you trust any man, and as little.  You say frog, he jump.  But you have to say frog.”
         “And what if I’m not around to say frog?  What if I say frog and he decides I meant toad?  What if--it’s bad enough I’ve got to be the Slayer and Dawn’s mom and the Summers’ family breadwinner!  I can’t be Spike’s conscience too!”
         The dark, liquid eyes, full of wicked humor, blinked as the grin spread across Tara’s face once more.  “You got no choice there, ti-blanc.  You already are.”  She squinted down the neck of the whiskey bottle.  “I give you one piece free advice: you been asking the wrong questions.  Not ‘What’s wrong with her,’ but ‘Why’s it wrong?’  Not ‘How we fix her?’ but “How can she be fix?’  And not ‘Can I trust him?’ but ‘If he do whatever I want, what I want him to do?’”
         “But--”
         The bottle fell from Tara’s hands as she keeled over sideways, limp as an abandoned puppet.  It hit the grass and rolled, spraying pungent amber liquid in its wake.  Willow started back with a wail of alarm, waving one hand blindly in Tara’s direction.  “No, no, Great Pan is dead!”
         Buffy dove forward, ending up on her knees before Tara, clutching her shoulders with both hands.  Tara moaned, leaning her forehead against Buffy’s shoulder and holding her stomach with both hands--hopefully not in anticipation of a mini-Ghede bursting out of it, Buffy thought.  Tara looked up, her face pale and glistening with sweat in the moonlight, though the night was getting chilly, and made a painful gulping noise.  “Buffy?”  Her voice was her own again, but she sounded weak and sick and very, very confused.  “I think... I think I’m going to be...”  And then she was, jackknifing forward as half a bottle of whiskey and whatever she’d had for dinner came up in one violent heave.
         Willow started sobbing, crawling across the grass towards her lover.  Buffy tried to simultaneously leap back out of the way and not let Tara fall, ending up in an awkward, arm’s-length position of support.  She began edging to one side, still on her knees.  “Ew, ew, ew... Tara, it’s OK, you just drank too much.  Or he drank too much, or, or something.  Willow--”  Willow batted at Tara’s shoulder with one hand and whimpered something about sugar cubes.  Buffy freed one arm.  “Sit down, please, I can’t--”
         “I’m OK,” Tara croaked.  “I think.  I don’t remember... there was this... this thing, this big, big thing... my head hurts.”  Her eyes widened.  “Willow.  Oh, gods, Willow--can you hear me?”
         “In the dry times of year, in the leaves of regret, I know a hawk from a handsaw.”  Willow poked the remains of Tara’s dinner with one finger and wrinkled her nose in disgust.  “Stinky.”  She slumped, losing all interest in Tara, and began twisting a strand of her hair round her finger, tighter and tighter.  Buffy sat back on her heels and pressed both hands to her forehead, feeling overwhelmed.
         “We’ve got to get her somewhere safe,” Tara said, hauling herself upright against the marble angel and getting unsteadily to her feet.  She held out a trembling hand to her partner.  “Willow... come on, Willow...”  Her voice broke.  Not all of the moisture on her cheeks was sweat.  “You’re going to be OK, honey, we’ll find some way to make you better, just like you made me better...”  She looked over at Buffy, her eyes all to human now, and full of agony.  “What are we going to do?”
         Buffy ran a hand down her face.  “Um.  Crypt.  It’s not far to Spike’s crypt.  He wasn’t there when I went to get the whiskey... oh, fabulous, we managed to kill the whole bottle.  Somehow I think ‘I had to give it to a raunchy cemetery god’ isn’t going to make him very happy.”  She got up, avoiding the aftermath of Tara’s sick fit, and picked Willow up bodily.  “OK.  No panicking.   If whatever happened to her is what happened to Willy, it’ll wear off.”  I hope.  “We go to the crypt.  We clean up as much as we can.  We keep an eye on Willow.  What did happen to her?”
         Tara hugged herself tightly for a moment, head bowed, eyes squeezed shut against the sight of Willow’s slack face.  Then she sighed and looked up, retreating into her shell of calm reserve.  “I’m not sure.  We were patrolling, and we heard that guy coming.  He seemed really out of it.  Willow tried to talk him into letting us take him out of the cemetery, and he... called something. Some kind of power.  Willow tried to fight it, and then it just... I can’t remember anything after that.”
         “He called it Ghede.”
         Tara frowned.  “Ghede?  That’s familiar... oh!  I remember!  We had that in my Cultural Anthropology course last semester.  It’s Haitian.  He’s one of the Rada loa, a pretty important one, I think.  Guardian of the cemetery.  He’s also, um, associated with sex.”
          Buffy rolled her eyes.  “Great, like I need sex and death tied up in my subconscious any more than they already are.”
         “I don’t know much more than that about it.  Voudoun’s way out of my field.  I always thought it was a weird combo in class,” Tara mused.  “On one hand he’s this dangerous scary death guy you go to for advice, and on the other he’s this chaotic trickster who likes to smoke and drink and make lewd jokes and have a good time.  And he’s a protector of children.”
         Buffy shrugged.  “Doesn’t sound all that weird to me.  Though he gives sucky advice.  No way worth half a bottle of bourbon.”
         Tara stroked Willow’s forehead.  After a while she said thoughtfully, “No, I guess it wouldn’t seem weird, to you.”
         Buffy still hadn’t figured out what Tara meant by that by the time they reached the crypt.

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