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Juliatheyounger
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy et al own these characters
Summary: Sequel to Hot Chocolate…Marshmallows (of course). Not only is Buffy going out with Spike but now she's got Armageddon to deal with as well.
Rating: R (I expect)
Spoilers: Season 5
Feedback: Yes please (with sugar on top?)
Distribution: If anyone wants it then, yes, please! But let me know so I can feel all flattered.
Author's note: Yup I've done it, started the Hot Chocolate sequel (yeah as if I could leave it there, we haven't even dealt with the chip or Angel yet!) mwhahahahaha… Let more pointless crap ensue!
For those who came in late and can't be bothered to read Hot Chocolate…
Buffy has finally admitted to Spike that she loves him after quite a bit of sex and a fight or two. Buffy has told the Scooby Gang she is seeing the blonde undead one. Xander has accidentally walked in on Buffy and Spike during a rather inopportune moment and Willow and Tara, not knowing Spike and Buffy were sort of seeing each other, asked him to be the…er…three in a threesome. Giles thinks they are just going on a date.
Oh yeah and there was stuff about demons and crap.
******************************************
It had been the way he'd knelt next to Dawn, stroking her hair and trying to calm her that did it. After Dawn had fallen asleep and Giles had started snoring on the lounge, after her mind had run out of ways to worry about her sister, Buffy's thoughts had turned to Spike. Thinking about that evening, their argument and then the way Spike had cared for Dawn, suddenly Buffy knew he wasn't going to hurt them. She known it before, in theory, that Spike probably wouldn't hurt herself and Dawn, but she hadn't KNOWN it until now. And suddenly it seemed so stupid to turn him away. He needed help, if he was going to do this. And suddenly she knew he could. He wasn't a monster. He wasn't some animal. He was a man. A man who had been gentle and loving.
Oh god. She'd let him go fight Dru and Darla alone.
It was nearly morning. Buffy hurried downstairs. He could be injured, stuck somewhere. Or worse, Darla and Dru could have captured him, to try and turn him back to their side.
Then the phone rang.
Buffy sighed with relief when Angel told her about Spike's visit. And the knowledge that he'd killed Darla made her more certain that she was making the right decision.
"So where's Spike now? Is he with you? Can I speak with him?" An anxious knot formed in the pit of Buffy's stomach, having made her decision she REALLY had to talk to Spike.
"Spike's gone, Buffy. He…he said he was - I think he's going to England."
"England?"
"To put Drusilla to rest."
"Oh."
Buffy felt sick when she hung up the phone. He'd come back, wouldn't he?
***********
It had been nearly two months since the night Spike had left. And the knot in Buffy's stomach only got worse. He had left, in the end, like they all did. True she'd threatened him with death if he stayed, but all the same, she never really believed he'd go. But it was Drusilla. He had gone to take her ashes back. Lately she sometimes thought she sensed him near. It was only the briefest feeling and quickly passed but it still made her stop in the graveyard or look out of her window. He was never there. Buffy tried not to let it show, the pain she was feeling, the awful sick feeling she had constantly, but from the way the others never mentioned Spike, from the way they sometimes seemed to stop talking whenever she entered the room, she knew they knew. Even Dawn didn't mention him and if Buffy hadn't found the postcards one day while cleaning up her sister's room, she would have thought Dawn had completely forgotten Spike. She was torn between joy that Spike was ok, that he cared enough to write to Dawn, and between intense hurt that he did not write to her as well. He really had left.
Buffy walked through the cemetery. Patrol, fight, stake, home. It was a routine. Worry about Dawn consumed her mind. Suddenly Buffy stopped. The feeling, again. Stronger this time. And her slayer sense was giving her major tingles. Familiar tingles.
"Spike?" she said without turning.
"Slayer."
Buffy didn't know what to say. For the last month she had despised herself for harboring the stupid hope that Spike would come back. Had told herself so many times that it was a good thing that he had gone, like she asked. But now, just the sound of his voice made her heart race. She turned to face him.
"You - you're back. Where were you?"
He looked the same. The same starkly handsome, beautiful face she'd fallen in love with. His eyes pierced her. His expression was just as cold as the night he left. Buffy so wanted him to be smiling and pleased to see her.
"Went back to England. Took Dru home. Put her to rest, so to speak." Spike looked away, avoiding her eyes.
"I heard… about Dru. I'm…sorry. Thank you - for doing what you did."
"Did it for Dawn," Spike said quietly. He looked up. "How is lil' bit?" There was concern in his tone, and Buffy was reminded again of how much Spike actually cared for her sister.
"Still pregnant. Scared, radiant. She's only fifteen. It's not fair."
"I know. I'm sorry." There was a pause. "Is it human?"
"Apparently. We've tried spells, doctors…you know. Dawn gets upset now if we mention it. She wants it…" Buffy trailed off. "I'm going to raise it. We all are. Dawn needs a life. She doesn't deserve this. She needs to go to school and have fun."
Buffy didn't tell him about Angel. About what the last witchdoctor had told them. That was too hard. Angel didn't even know. Didn't know the child was his. Buffy couldn't face him. She supposed she'd have to tell him, one day. It was too much to consider. Too much hurt and pain. Buffy so really didn't need anymore of that.
Spike nodded. He made no move to come closer. Buffy looked at him, and there was a moment of something in his expression. A moment that made her ask,
"What about you - what are you going to do?"
"Thought I'd leave that up to you, Slayer," he said, and in a sudden movement threw her a stake. Buffy caught it automatically. She looked down at it, then up at him. Oh that's right, no chip. For a moment, she'd forgotten.
Then Spike went game face.
"Going to make it easy on you love. Now keep your promise. Stake me."
"Spike?"
Spike looked at her and swallowed hard. "Come on Slayer finish it."
"No." No, she couldn't. Couldn't just stake him. Not like this. Not now he'd come back.
For a moment Spike dared to hope, then he ruthlessly crushed that thought. She didn't trust him, would never trust him. There was no way she would let him live. She just didn't want to be responsible for this. But he couldn't do this anymore. He had nothing now. No Dru. No family, except Angel who didn't want anything to do with his vampire life. He could kill again but there was no point. Every time he went close he was reminded of the Summer's women. He was tired. Tired of wanting, craving, needing Buffy and not having her. Not after those few glorious weeks of basking in her love. Spike knew it was bad timing, knew Buffy had so many problems already.
It would be the good and noble thing to stay away, to not come back. But he couldn’t. She was in him. She was his everything. She had to end it. It was the only way he'd know, truly know, that they couldn't be together. He'd make her. And it was the best way to go, at the hands of a Slayer.
He lunged at her.
It was instinctive. Buffy flung Spike away from her. He growled and lunged again. Buffy punched him. And he punched her. And then it was really on. They fought. Slayer and Vampire. And then, it suddenly occurred to Buffy, from the part of her mind that was objectively watching her Slayer-self fight, that Spike had made it easy on her. It would be very easy, emotionally, to stake him now. No qualms, no guilt. It was all about the fight. And this realisation made her notice something else. Spike was deliberately making mistakes. Not obvious ones, but imperceptible ones that let her knock him away, ones that let her kick him when she really shouldn't have been able to. Ones that, in the end where going to give her an unfair advantage. God, he really did want her to kill him.
"Dammit Spike," she gasped. "Fight me properly."
"What you trying to say, Slayer? That I'm throwing the fight?" Spike punched her again, throwing her against a tree.
"That's exactly what I'm saying," Buffy growled as she launched herself at him again.
He looked at her steadily. "That's because I am."
Buffy punched him hard.
"Don't do me any favours Spike."
Spike spat blood. "You want a good fight do you love? You want me to play this for real. Try and kill you? That what you want?"
"Well you want me to stake you, the least you could do is give me an excuse."
Spike looked at her darkly.
"I thought me being unchipped was excuse enough."
"Not anymore. Not after you decided to be all heroic and not kill us."
Spike slogged Buffy hard in the jaw.
"How about that, Slayer? Enough excuse for you?"
"Nope. Not good enough," she said as her head snapped back from the blow and she caught Spike under the chin with a high kick. He fell back and rose up onto his knees.
"That's more like it, luv," he said and Buffy saw for the first time a glimmer of something other than empty despair in Spike's expression. He got to his feet. "Come on Buffy, finish this."
Buffy slammed him in the face. He just took it.
"Yeah, like that pet, don't hold back, give it to me."
Buffy hit him again.
"Come on Spike, you can do better than that."
As Buffy pulled her fist back, Spike caught the blow and flipped Buffy over. The surprise made her swing her leg around and sweep his from under him.
He let out an odd half-laugh.
"Better Slayer?" he asked.
"I'm not going to stake you, Spike," Buffy growled as they both got to their feet, circling each other.
"You will bloody stake me. I'm not doing this anymore Slayer. I can't live without you. Do me this favour at least. Finish this."
"No," said Buffy stubbornly.
"You can either stake me or take me back, and seeing as I can't envisage you doing that anytime soon, you'll just have to kill me luv."
"Maybe I want to take you back."
"You won't, you can't trust me."
"Maybe I do, now."
Spike shook his
head. "No love, I'm what I am, how long before there's a vampire killing and
you start looking sideways at me?"
They had stopped circling and were now barely inches from each other. Spike
still vamped out, Buffy still clutching the stake.
"I might Spike, but we have to do this together. I'm sorry. I realise that now."
Spike's gaze flicked down to Buffy's throat.
"I could kill you," he said. "When you least expect it. I could drain you dry."
"You won't," she said. "I trust you."
Spike ran a finger softly down Buffy's cheek.
"You trust me?" he asked softly.
For a moment he shifted back to human form. He looked into Buffy's eyes and she knew what she wanted. She dropped the stake and Spike's face shifted again and he sank his fangs into her throat. Buffy was falling and flying all at once. The sensation was incredible, just as she remembered and finally she was willing to let Spike give this to her.
Spike knew nothing but the heady sweet ecstasy of Slayer blood and the strong pounding of her heart. He had only tasted this once before, because he hadn't even bitten the second one. Buffy had felt this three times before. Always ahead of him, his Slayer. His Slayer, his Buffy. Spike reluctantly withdrew his fangs and laved the wound gently with his tongue. He tried to comprehend what had just happened. She had let him do this. She trusted him.
Buffy moaned as she came back to reality. They were both kneeling on the ground. She wasn't dead. She felt Spike nuzzle gently at her throat then pull back. She opened her eyes and found him looking at her with blue not yellow eyes. Eyes that were full of love and just a hint of fear. Eyes that were waiting for a response. Spike half expected to be pushed to the ground and staked. It was a good price to pay, to have tasted her, to have shared that with her, this time.
"Is that what you were afraid of love?" he asked, his voice husky.
"No," said Buffy. "Yes, but not for me, for the others."
"I would never hurt them Buffy, not now."
"I know."
And he knew she did.
"I love you," he said simply.
"I know," Buffy said again. Then she smiled at him tremulously. "I love you too."
And then, of course, it started to rain. Spike felt himself shaking as he bent forward and pressed his lips to Buffy's. Felt himself tremble as she returned the kiss and entwined her small, strong hands in his hair, holding him to her. She tasted blood on his mouth, whether from his split lip or from her, she wasn't sure, but it tasted like…Spike. Blood, tobacco, Spike. Fat raindrops fell from the sky, soaking them both, washing away the blood. And if the rain mixed with tears as well, neither of them noticed. Kisses became more kisses and more kisses became desperate fumblings. Soaked clothes were unbuttoned and bodies pressed together, wet and slick with rain. And there in the dark night, in the mud and wet, with rain pounding down on them, they reclaimed each other. Desperate longing and passion released in too quick love-making.
They lay tangled together in the wet afterwards, staring at each other as their climaxes subsided. Spike smoothed rain-wet hair from Buffy's face. His expression was one of wonder. And of love. Buffy reached up and pushed a dripping wet curl from his forehead.
"I'm sorry," she said.
Hearing her say that touched Spike more than he cared to admit.
"It's ok, I know why you reacted the way you did," he said as casually as possible. "Just hurt was all." He looked down a little embarrassed. "Sorry for being such a git, just now."
"S'ok, you needed to have your dramatic moment," said Buffy with a glint of wickedness. "Plus, it was kinda fun, the fighting."
"Oh, you liked that did you?"
Buffy blushed. "Yeah, I did. If you cut out the angsty he's going to kill me, I'm going to kill him moments."
Spike grinned. "I think I can manage that."
"So…uh…the bitey thing…"
"Yeah, the bitey thing… You ok, not feeling woozy, loss of blood all that?"
"Nope."
"Good."
Buffy looked down. "It felt great."
Spike lifted her chin up and looked into her eyes. "Thank you Buffy, for letting me do that," he said.
"Not that I want to incorporate it into our relationship as this regular thing or anything," Buffy added.
Spike grinned. Then he noticed Buffy was shivering slightly. He looked at her ruefully.
"We're getting a bit wet here love," he said.
**************
The door to the Summer's house opened and Willow, Tara and Dawn looked up as a very drenched Spike walked in carrying an equally drowned Buffy. A Buffy who had her arms around his neck and was looking at him adoringly.
The girls all looked at one another and as Spike started up the stairs, decided that, as Buffy was obviously not hurt, they'd ask her about it tomorrow.
TBC...?