Hispovox
Disclaimer: All the characters save for La Quintrala and Neruda belong to Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon. No copyright infringement intended.
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The third body washed ashore like all the others before for the last three Sundays. The police were worried about a potential serial killer but had absolutely no clue where to start looking. The cause of death could not be accurately ascertained and there was no discernable link among the victims save for their gender: they were all male. The authorities had tried to keep the cases from the media but it took little time for the press hounds to sniff a good story and it made the front-page news of the Sunnydale Times Monday morning.
As Anya opened the Magic Box, Giles sipped his tea and read with mild interest the newspaper’s headlines. His attention did linger on the article about the strange murders and the fact that there seemed to be some confusion as to the exact cause of death of the victims, but he dismissed the entire thing as being a homicidal psychopath’s work. The Watcher shook his head with a little wonder that he should find relief when evil was not perpetrated by a supernatural phenomenon.
His train of thought was interrupted by the sound of the door swinging open and admitting Buffy followed by Willow and Tara. The girls tried to greet Anya but she was engrossed in balancing the cash register so she merely smiled and waved as she went on counting.
"So Giles. Anything Slayery in the paper I should worry about?" Buffy asked.
The Watcher smiled warmly in her direction.
"No, thankfully it seems that we might get a slow week."
"I’m down with that. Slow week equals vaca days for me."
Tara started to laugh.
"Va, vaca days?" inquired Giles as he wiped his glasses.
"Vacation days," supplied Willow as Tara still snickered.
"What’s so funny Tara?" she asked her girlfriend.
"Nothing really, it’s just that "vaca" means "cow" in Spanish."
"Cow days. I like the sound of that," Buffy turned to Giles. "Can I have a couple of cow days?"
Giles was tempted to remind her that a Slayer didn’t have the luxury of vacations. However, she had worked so hard and had suffered so much in the past year without ever putting her Slayer duties second that he couldn’t find a good reason not to grant her small request. Had he been a more demonstrative man he would have hugged her to show her how proud and how much he loved her. He didn’t care if he never had children; he already had a daughter.
"Of course Buffy, take a few... cow days."
The girls giggled. Suddenly the phone rang.
"Giles," called Anya, "it’s for you. Someone Garoway from the police station."
Intrigued, Buffy waited as Giles took the call. After several minutes Giles hung up looking pensive. Buffy didn’t like that look. The Englishman turned toward her and was about to speak when Buffy beat him to it:
"No, wait. Don’t tell me. I’m having a prophetic Slayer dream," she said squeezing her eyes shut, "and I can see that my cow days are out."
"Very funny," he retorted dryly, "and completely true I’m afraid."
"So what does your mole tell you?" she asked sitting at the round table.
"Garoway is not my mole. He just knows when the police are in over their heads," he explained as he took a seat beside her.
Tara and Willow excused themselves, as they had to go to class. While Anya took care of customers Giles informed Buffy what he'd been told. So far there wasn’t much information but the trail of dead bodies was long and seemed to have originated in South America.
"What do you think we’re dealing with?"
"I don’t know but I’ll venture to say that whatever is at the bottom of this has come here specifically to the Hellmouth. There are bound to be repercussions. Be careful when you patrol Buffy, I think that the calm days are over."
Buffy nodded.
"You hit the books and I’ll go to class. I’ll see you this afternoon," she said brightly to her Watcher.
Giles watched her go and wondered not for the first time how she could do her job as the Slayer and still retain that candour. Shaking his head he went to get some books to begin his research.
It turned out that Giles had not exaggerated about the renewed bustling activity.
"Whatever’s going on sure has the undead natives restless" Buffy told Willow one morning during class.
"Lots of baddies?" her friend inquired.
"Lots and lots," confirmed Buffy.
"Do you need help? Because you know you just have to say the word and we’ll be there."
"I know Will. And I swear, if things get ugly, I’ll cry for help."
Willow looked relieved. It seemed to her a long time since Buffy had asked the Scoobies for anything.
The truth was that Buffy was reluctant to put any of their lives in danger. Ever since the Glory episode Buffy had become overprotective of her family and friends. The list of ills they’d been through seemed endless to Buffy. She’d been unable to prevent her mother’s natural death, Spike had nearly gotten killed because he wouldn’t betray Buffy to Glory, Tara lost her mind until Willow was able to get it back from Glory, Giles got seriously injured while they tried to escape the Knights of Byzantium and not to mention the emotional abyss that they were all put through. She swore that she would do all in her power to keep them safe.
Xander and Anya would be getting married in a matter of months, Tara and Willow were blissfully happy and Spike kept mostly to himself except when his help was needed. She tried not to dwell on the vampire because even though he was sort of part of the gang, she still had trouble coming to terms with the fact that he was in love with her and how she felt about that. Thankfully he had never mentioned it again and their relationship remained same as it ever was, strained and unpredictable. Dawn had recovered from her emotional and physical wounds and was happier than Buffy had seen her since their mother’s passing. This is the way that things should be, she thought, determined to keep it that way.
As for herself, she was just glad to be alive. She had sacrificed herself in order to save Dawn and it had been an easy choice. But even now, the whole notion of her death and subsequent return disturbed her so she put it away in the back of her mind. Happily she thought instead that she was able to take a few spring courses and depending on her finances, and what she could work out with her father, she might be able to go back to college full time in the fall.
Not for the first time Buffy sent a prayer of thanks to her mother that the house was paid in full. She still wasn’t on great terms with her father but at least he aided them financially. Buffy was sure that part of his eagerness to help was to not get saddled with Dawn. Buffy smirked, as that was exactly what she had wanted. Nobody was ever going to take Dawn away.
"Miss Summers?" the professor called out startling her. "You seem to be somewhere else. Would you care to share with us?"
"No sir. Sorry," she said sheepishly.
The lecture continued and Buffy took notes furiously vowing to pay attention.
That same evening while on patrol Buffy was sorely tempted to call the Scoobies. The numbers of baddies weren’t dwindling from day to day she noticed. She really hoped that Giles would turn up something soon. With one precise movement, the stake pierced the heart of the creature. Panting, Buffy stepped back as the dust that had once been a vampire settled at her feet. Whirling around angrily she stared hard at the man who leaned leisurely against a tree, smoking.
"Thanks a lot," she said sarcastically.
"No, thank you, Slayer. Quite entertaining it was. Though you were a little slow on the uptake with that last one."
"Gee, I can’t imagine why. Could it be because it was the sixth one straight I was fighting?"
"Could be... Still, no reason to get sloppy on the job. After all, you are the Slayer," he replied his voice laced with irony.
"I hate you Spike."
The vampire merely smiled and continued to smoke.
"What? Nothing to say?"
"Is there really a comeback to "I hate you"?"
"You always have before."
"Before, it was new. Now it’s just boring and I abhor being bored... hey, nice play on words, eh?"
Buffy rolled up her eyes as she started to walk away.
"I could have used some help, you bastard" she muttered.
"What was that?"
Buffy groaned. She had forgotten what acute hearing vampires have.
"I said: I could have used some help... *you bastard*"
Spike’s face hardened.
"You, Summers, are a bitch and a hypocrite. If I help you, you thank me by turning my motives against me and then I usually get a blow to the head for my efforts. And if I don’t help you, well then I am a bastard."
Buffy said nothing and he moved toward her.
"Know what I think? I think I make you feel things you don’t want to deal with. You don’t know how to handle me. But violence you know. And killing you know. So these are the parameters you use when dealing with me."
"You’re wrong. You’re a vampire Spike, I’m only responding to what you are."
"Yeah? Well maybe that’s what happened to your boyfriends, they responded to what you are and left."
By Buffy’s expression he knew he had hit a raw nerve. His baser instincts urged him to add one more acidic comment to drive the point home and finish her off but her eyes saved her. One look into their depths and Spike was lost. Sighing heavily he flicked his cigarette.
"Why do you do this Slayer? Push me until you get a rise out of me and then I lash out at you."
Buffy couldn’t answer him.
"Is it because as long as we’re yelling and trading insults you don’t have to think about what’s behind all this?"
"What’s behind all this?"
"Huh. No, I’m not doing this. I figured it out, now you work on it, if you’re so inclined. At this point there are just two things I want to clear with you."
"Which are?"
"One, do you want my help or not? If you do, I will patrol with you and no, I don’t expect anything in return. If you don’t want my help, that’s fine. Just don’t come barging in and smack me around because suddenly I’m indispensable. It doesn’t score big points you know."
"Do I look like I’m keeping count?"
"No, but I am."
That notion disturbed her. Like he could eventually get fed up and leave Sunnydale for good. That wouldn’t do. Annoying or not, Spike was part of her world and she’d had enough upheavals. The state of her present world had to remain as it was.
"What’s the other thing you want to clear up?" she asked to diffuse the situation.
"Regardless of what you decide on the first matter, I want you to stop roughing me up for no reason."
"I have reason to," she said stubbornly.
"Sometimes you do and sometimes you don’t. Anyway, think about what I’ve said and let me know. Oh, and Buffy? If you’re not intent on violence, would it be at all possible for you to knock before crashing into my home?"
He glanced at her one last time and calmly walked away.
Buffy had wanted to scream and tell him any number of things but when he spoke to her with that stern and adult tone, it always made her feel like a naïve young girl. It irked her when she had to concede that a lot of what he said was reasonable.
"Spike!"
"Yeah?"
"Okay for the help."
The vampire nodded and continued to walk away. Buffy breathed out her relief. This would work out well. Spike was a good and strong fighter. Between them they would keep Sunnydale safe and Buffy needn’t bother the gang for help. Satisfied, she returned home anxious to go to bed.
Over the next few days, like clockwork, Spike would drive up to Buffy’s house and wait for her to go on patrol. At first they both tried to be civil but as Spike attempted conversation and Buffy invariably shot him down, it turned into silent antagonism, then open hostility.
Buffy couldn’t understand why Spike simply rubbed her the wrong way. They had been through so much, one would think that they could at least work in relative harmony. She tried to rationalize it but nothing made sense. Surely, some sort of understanding or compromise could be reached. With this in mind, Buffy decided one night to walk back to Spike’s crypt after he had dropped her off from patrolling and have it out with him.
They had had a huge argument and Buffy was tired of the strain. One way or the other, something had to give.
Once she stood in front of the door to the mausoleum, Buffy remembered Spike’s request so she knocked softly but there was no response. She rapped a little harder with the same results. She thought that he was perhaps asleep and didn’t hear her. Carefully she opened the door and walked in to find the crypt empty. She turned to leave when she heard him mumbling from the secret room below at the back of the crypt. For a moment she thought he was not alone and was ready to depart but she was certain she heard him say her name. The fine hairs on the back of her neck stood on end telling her that she shouldn’t stay. She fought the strange feeling and walked over to the edge of the room and leaning half her body in, peered into the relative darkness. Two torches lit the room and that’s when she saw him.
Shocked into stunned silence, Buffy watched as Spike pleasured himself, his shoulder leaning against the wall, his face a study in concentration. He was fully dressed and had merely removed his duster, unbuckled his belt and opened his pants. His stroke was sure and rough and Buffy was surprised and a little troubled to realize that her own body was responding to what she was seeing. She heard him say a couple of times "C’mon", as he strove to reach his climax, then "Fuck", as the tension seemed to build on its inexorable climb, and finally "Oh, Christ, yes!" when he started to come. Once he was done, he continued to caress himself, although more gently, and whimpered "Buffy", as the last of the tremors shot through him. Coming slowly back to his senses he swallowed hard and took an unnecessary breath before refastening his pants and belt with a sad, resigned look on his face.
Buffy was still reeling from what she had seen so she didn’t move away quickly enough when Spike started to walk in her direction. Surprised but curious blue eyes met horrified green ones.
"See anything you like, Slayer?" he asked, clearly amused.
"You’re disgusting!"
"And yet, you are still here," he wryly observed.
"That’s because, it’s just that," Buffy back-pedalled furiously, "I don’t have to explain myself to you!"
"Well, seeing as you’re in my home... uninvited I may add- and you’ve just caught me in a very intimate moment, I’d say yeah, you do have to explain yourself to me."
"I won’t do any such thing. I came to talk to you but instead found you... doing that."
"Jacking off you mean?" Spike shrugged. "Don’t look so surprised. For heaven’s sake Buffy, what did you expect? Did you think I was living the life of a monk? I’m a man, I have needs. I don’t know what you do-"
"We’re not talking about me!" she shouted angrily.
"Right you are. So, lets. Did you enjoy the show? Wish I’d known, I know I would have enjoyed myself even more."
"Spike!!"
Buffy blushed deeply as she had no idea how to answer any of his questions. Then, as self-righteous indignation and panic took hold of Buffy, she stalked out in a huff yelling that he was impossible. Spike smiled at her discomfort. So, he could still bother her he mused. Excellent.
The matter was never mentioned again and the status quo between them was maintained while their unresolved feelings grew. The Scoobies who had looked upon the partnership with mixed feelings were perplexed to observe how well they fought together all the while hurtling vindictive and hurtful words at one another. The atmosphere would get so thick with tension that it prompted one annoyed vampire to growl while he fought Buffy:
"Is this about me at all? Because you know, me and my bros could just leave and come back when you and the turncoat have settled your problems."
Piqued, Buffy had staked him savagely.
And so it went, each patrol more explosive than the other until one night the unexpected happened. The unlikely partners had been heatedly arguing while dispatching vampires and demons alike when Buffy shot Spike a particularly venomous remark as she finished off a vampire. Dropping the demon he had just killed, Spike took a few steps and invaded Buffy’s personal space. She had never seen him so angry and although she knew he couldn’t hurt her, a shiver ran through her. Whether it was fear or something else she didn’t have time to process it because Spike kissed her. The kiss was short and hard but Buffy didn’t fight it. When they simultaneously pushed each other away they avoided each other’s eyes.
In silence they strode back to Spike’s car. The ride to Buffy’s house was equally silent. Once he had dropped Buffy off, Spike drove away berating himself. Stupid, he thought. That had been such a stupid thing to do. He tried to explain how it happened but he couldn’t. One moment he’d wanted to slap her and next he was kissing her. There was no telling what hell he was going to pay for that. Buffy hadn’t said anything nor had she looked at him. Probably because she was plotting a new and ingenious way to stake him. Life on the Hellmouth was a-laugh-a-minute.
Leaning against her kitchen counter Buffy drank a glass of water still stunned by the evening’s events. She wasn’t sure what bothered her the most. The fact that Spike had kissed her or that she had responded to it. Spike probably thinks that I want him now, she thought. What a mess.
"Hey Buff, how was patrol, anything new and exciting happen?"
Startled, Buffy nearly dropped her glass as her sister sauntered into the kitchen.
"No, no," she stammered. "Why would you ask that?" she went on hurriedly, "It was the usual, staked vampires, fought demons, argued with Spike and shouldn’t you be in bed? It’s a school night."
"Geez Buffy, take it easy. I just wanted to see you and make sure you were alright."
"Sorry Dawn. Come here," Buffy hugged her sister tight.
Ever since their mother had passed away the siblings had become more protective of each other.
"Some nights are just weirder than others, you know?"
Dawn nodded.
"How was your evening?" Buffy inquired as she prepared hot cocoa for them both.
The next night Spike and Buffy approached each other with apprehension. In an unspoken agreement they neither mentioned nor discussed what had transpired the previous evening. This truce carried them for a day or so until their quarrelsome natures resurfaced. And once again, at the height of a heated argument they kissed. It was as hard as the first one had been but this one lasted a little longer, followed by an abrupt stop and then the silent treatment.
This pattern was repeated over several days. It became obvious that kissing diffused the tension and that gave them a reprieve until it built itself up again. Seemingly a natural progression, they took to kissing more often and for longer periods of time though the nature of the kisses still remained anger, resentment and frustration. They never questioned it or discussed it and treated it as a necessary evil. It was just something that happened.
Stubbornly refusing to address the subject, they danced the unfamiliar steps until the night their kisses took a different turn. Passion, need and longing had crept in giving the caress a new dimension that ignited their senses. Gone were the hard kisses. These were open-mouthed, hungry kisses that left Buffy reeling and Spike half crazed with desire. Buffy hadn’t been this properly kissed in a very, very long time.
Spike was the first to pull away albeit reluctantly. He was pleased that Buffy still clung to him. They stared at each other in a daze. In that moment where they were open and vulnerable a current of understanding shot through them both and they felt the change. Suddenly everything was clear. Buffy looked at the ground then, her eyes slowly traveled until her eyes found Spike’s black boots then up his body to his face. It was as if she had never seen him before and in a way, it was. When she finally dared to look into his eyes the adoration there made her knees weak. Her heart had been pounding but now it positively hammered in her chest.
Spike was transfixed. His entire body was coiled with tension and he shook slightly from the effort not to grab her and crush her to him. She had to make the first move and she obliged by touching his chest with a shaky hand. Good enough thought Spike as he enveloped her tightly in his arms. They stood enlaced for quite a while under the moonlight, the crickets the only sound to accompany their haggard breathing in the stillness of the cemetery.
Gingerly they walked back to Spike’s car. It was all happening in slow motion for them as Spike opened the car door for her. While he rounded the car, his mind was racing. What was the next step? He worried that one wrong move would alienate Buffy and bring them back to square one. It was so complicated with humans; too much sent them running, not enough and they were hurt. He glanced quickly at his companion. How exactly was he supposed not to touch her when she looked so damned good? Buffy held her hands tightly clasped in her lap. They were itching to grab Spike and haul him to her side.
Fate intervened however when Spike distractedly almost ran a red light. The car screeched to a halt and Spike’s arm automatically shot out to protect Buffy. The contact was electric and shattered their reserve. In one movement they leaned into each other and kissed frantically in their cramped positions. A car honked behind them making them jump apart. Spike set the car in motion and drove as fast as possible to Revello Drive. It was the longest drive of his life. Buffy had decided to make Spike lose his mind.
Sliding next to him she ran her hand from his knee up his thigh, feeling the taut muscles under his jeans. She didn’t go further, for which he was grateful because he really didn’t want to crash the car. But then Buffy started licking, nibbling and breathing in his oversensitive ear. The car made an abrupt swerve.
"Buffy," he warned, his eyes dancing with excitement.
"Can’t take the heat?"
Spike merely smiled. They had reached Buffy’s house and Spike parked immediately, slid over to her side and pulled her unto his lap. One hand tangled in her golden locks while the other worked to free Buffy’s shirt from her pants. He needed to touch her skin, to feel the heat of her body. They kissed with yearning, devouring each other. Buffy ran her fingers through his short hair and Spike growled with contentment. She pressed herself even more against him, reveling in the hardness of his body as her own became softer. Their tongues battled hotly and it occurred to Buffy that they must be giving quite a show to any passerby, but the thought was swiftly swept away when Spike positioned her body so that she could feel him between her legs. The contact caused them both to moan and grind seeking more friction.
They managed to get out of Spike’s car but only because they were afraid of being caught unawares by the rising sun should they get too distracted by the intense pleasure they were giving each other. Stumbling inside Buffy’s home, Spike slammed her against the wall right after shutting the front door.
"Nibblet?" he asked roughly.
"Sleepover at her best friend’s house," remembered Buffy with much effort.
"Perfect."
They resumed their passionate embrace. For a while all that could be heard in the house were their ragged breathing and the wet sounds of their kisses. They held each other tightly, their mouths slanting over one another, again and again, each time with renewed hunger. Buffy thought she would self-combust.
"Spike, now," she urged him.
He needed no further prompting. Frantically he undid his belt and the front of his jeans and lowered them just enough to allow his erection to spring free. He pushed her pants down and helped Buffy remove them along with her socks and boots, then with one arm he lifted her and pressed her back against the wall. With his other hand he roughly shoved aside her panties between her legs before settling there himself. He took a few seconds to look into her eyes and saw his own need mirrored in them. With a growl he lifted her a little more.
"I want you Spike," she said as she guided him to her center.
"You’ve got me," he groaned as she sank unto him.
Spike’s hips drove hard and mindlessly into Buffy to her relief while his moans became more and more strained. He continued to rain open mouth kisses over her face, neck and shoulders. Buffy returned his kisses and kneaded the powerful muscles of his back and arms.
"So good and, oh God, you’re so hard," she hissed.
"Just for you baby, just for you. God you’re so bloody tight and wet. Christ, you feel fantastic Buffy. Come quickly luv I don’t think I can hold... I want you too much," he grunted.
Buffy was glad that Spike was a talker and an uninhibited groaner because it was a total turn on and was, as it turned out, what she needed to set her off. She came screaming out his name, which triggered his own release after a few more thrusts.
Spike’s strength finally failed him and he slid to the floor with Buffy. She found it endearing that he panted though he didn’t need to. Spike rested his forehead against hers as he calmed down. A wave of tenderness washed over Buffy and she caressed and kissed the side of his face repeatedly as she cooed comfortingly in his ear.
"I love you Buffy. God, I love you so much," he sighed.
Spike’s body tensed as he remembered the first time he had uttered those words. He looked at her with apprehension.
There hadn’t been any mention of love up until that moment even though the Slayer had known for a long time how the vampire felt about her. Had he blown it? She saw the incertitude in his eyes.
"No worries Spike," she reassured him. "We wouldn’t be here if I didn’t love you back."
Spike crushed her to him and she heard a strangled cry of joy as he buried his face in her neck.
"Spike, maybe you don’t need to breathe but I do," she laughed.
The vampire slightly loosened his hold.
"Do you know when I first realized I was in love with you?"
Buffy shook her head.
"It was in a dream. In it I told you the exact same words that I just said. I woke up with such a start."
"Quite the nightmare huh? To love me?"
"Loving Buffy Summers wasn’t the problem. Loving the Slayer was," he explained.
"How did you come to terms with it?"
"What can I tell you Buffy? I’m love’s bitch," he laughed.
"I suppose that now you want to know when I first knew that I loved you?"
"No, that’s okay," he said shrugging his shoulders affecting disinterest, then "Hell yes! I bloody do well want to know."
Buffy shook her head with amusement.
"Alright. Well, I’ve always been attracted to you, no news there. From our very first encounter it was there, this insane attraction. I didn’t recognize it then because I was in love with Angel at the time. I know I started to feel differently toward you when you started to help us out."
Spike made a face.
"Sure didn’t show it."
"Obviously not Spike. There was no way I was going to let on that you affected me," she said as she gently stroke his scarred eyebrow. "But you did," she whispered softly.
Spike closed his eyes and leaned in to her caress.
"Remember the time I found out you were in love with me? When you started to talk about "feelings developing in the workplace", "heat" and "desire", looking all cocky, swaggering toward me. God, I swear, had you not been a vampire, I would have jumped your bones."
"Yeah?" he asked surprised but nonetheless pleased.
"Yeah. Anyway, I guess you could say the dam showed some major cracks when I saw you after going through the Glory wringer."
The vampire grunted at the memory.
"You were so terribly beaten and knowing that you had endured hell for Dawn and me, it, well, it humbled me. Just enough to admit to myself that I had feelings for you."
"Why didn’t you say something?" he wondered as he enjoyed her soft touch on his face.
"Too much going on, Glory, Dawn, Tara, the end of the world... Plus, just because I knew I had feelings for you didn’t mean that I was going to indulge them. I buried them. It was easier dealing with denial."
Spike nodded.
"Been there, done that, got the mannequin."
Buffy swatted him upside the head playfully. Spike smiled. Buffy stared at him. He stared right back. Passion flared and they scrambled upstairs to Buffy’s room.
They undressed each other quickly then literally fell into bed. Taking it a little slower this time, exploring each other’s bodies with all the reverence of pent-up frustration finally released.
"You’re so beautiful Buffy. So beautiful," he marveled while caressing her breasts with his face.
Buffy turned their bodies over so he lay underneath her. Admiring the fine definition of his arms and chest she nipped and licked her way down from his neck to his navel. There she paused to look up at his handsome face.
"Touch me Buffy, please baby," he implored.
Smiling Buffy lowered her head and took him in her mouth. With her lips and hand she stroke him slowly at first, then faster as he got harder.
"God, baby, that’s so good," he whimpered.
Just when she thought he was going to come, Spike suddenly pulled her up.
"I still need to be inside you Buffy," he said roughly as he positioned her so he was pressed against her back. "Can you come this way?" he asked hoarsely in her ear.
"Yeah, but I need a little help," she answered as she guided his hand between her legs and he began to thrust into her.
Soon they were both groaning. Spike continued to stroke her until she reached her release at which point he grabbed her waist with both hands to pull her harder against him. Squeezing her inner muscles around him, Buffy turned her head to the side to look at Spike. His face was etched in a grimace of ecstasy and pain and she shuddered with sexual pride that she could pleasure this powerful male. Their bodies slapping relentlessly, he suddenly stiffened then exploded with a wordless shout. Exhausted, he draped himself over her body as he kissed her ear and whispered over and over:
"I love you Buffy. So very much."
"Come here baby," she whispered as he slipped out of her and she turned on her back letting his head rest on her belly.
Spike placed soft kisses on the tender skin while he caressed it lightly with his fingers.
"I don’t ever want to go," he sighed.
"Then don’t."
"What are you saying?"
"I’m saying that I want you to stay until sunrise. We’ll figure it all out later."
Spike growled with satisfaction rubbing the side of his face on her flat stomach while Buffy played with his tousled hair.
Next morning Giles summoned all of the Scoobies for a meeting. Buffy was second to arrive followed by Willow and Tara. Anya was already there and Xander had been sent to fetch Spike.
"Well you look radiant this morning," observed Willow.
"Really?" covered Buffy quickly. "I slept very well last night. That must be it."
"It shows," remarked her friend. "You look more relaxed than you have in weeks."
Buffy smiled nervously then fibbed having to go to the restroom.
Shutting the door behind her, Buffy moved to the basin and letting the water run splashed her cheeks to cool them. She remembered Spike leaving a little before dawn, a mere few hours ago. It had taken at least fifteen attempts before both agreed to stop kissing and let go of each other. Buffy was jittery about seeing Spike again. Last night had been the most exciting night of her life and she was unashamed to admit that she wanted more. Looking at herself in the mirror she assumed a calm and collected exterior she was far from feeling.
Buffy had just rejoined the others at the table when Spike came crashing through the door, his blanket on fire, followed by a smirking Xander.
"Now that’s what I call crash and burn," he quipped.
Spike glared at him as he put out the blanket.
"Would it have killed you to leave me in front of the door instead of parking a block away?"
"Yes," replied the young man without hesitation.
The others snickered save for Buffy who was working hard to maintain her composure. Seeing the object of her affections had given a serious jolt to her system. After cursing at Xander, the vampire’s gaze crossed the Slayer’s. They held an eternity between them in that fraction of a second. Buffy’s heart was pounding so hard she was sure everyone could hear it. She felt like butterflies had settled and formed a colony in her stomach. Her hands were trembling so she hid them under the table in her lap. If all this was caused by his mere presence in her vicinity what would his close proximity do to her? Spike was having similar problems on his end. His insides were shaking with anticipation and ache. His chest and throat tightened and he had a hard time swallowing. He felt like a schoolboy and it wasn’t unpleasant at all.
"This your idea, Slayer," he barked, "getting me out of bed just as I was beginning to fall asleep?"
He sounded truly annoyed but the longing in his blue eyes belied his words.
"Oh, please. Like you have an active nightlife," she retorted the double entendre for his ears only.
"Good one Buff," cheered Xander.
"As a matter of fact, yes," bragged the vampire. "Haven’t been that active since, hell, a long time. Definitely worth it though," he finished with a smirk while Xander grimaced in disgust. Spike grabbed a chair, turned it and straddled it, his arms resting on the back.
"Well," Buffy stammered, thrilled by his words, "try not to fall asleep and keep up with us."
Spike cocked his head, a slight smile tugging at his lips.
"Oh, I’m up, Slayer, I’m up," he drawled.
Buffy dug her nails in her palms to keep herself from flying into Spike’s arms. Her hormones were about to hit the roof and he was pushing all the right buttons.
"Spike, shut up!" she cried exasperated.
"Giles could you please tell us why we’re here? That is unless you’d rather listen to the Quarrelsome Twins," Willow sighed.
"No, dear God, not that!" the Watcher exclaimed. "I was waiting for something to arrive, but no matter, I’ll start without it."
While Giles spoke Spike and Buffy took furtive sideway glances at each other, recalling the events of the night before. Buffy began to fidget. She didn’t care how, but she had to be alone with Spike for at least a few minutes. The opportunity presented itself when two heavy boxes of electronic equipment that Giles had purchased were delivered to the back door. Buffy pounced on the chance and offered to take them to the Training Room.
"C’mon Spike," she told him. "Make yourself useful and take the other box."
"What do I look like? A delivery boy?"
"If the shoe fits," she said mockingly.
Xander started to get up to help Buffy but Spike quickly capitulated grumbling, "Oh, alright."
They carried the boxes in silence and stacked them up neatly against the farthest wall of the Training Room. They only had a few moments and knew it. Their arms brushed lightly and they faced each other feeling a little awkward after all their nocturnal activities.
"What’s with the tough guy act?" she asked.
"I am a tough guy," he countered slightly offended.
Buffy rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean."
"It was either that or standing on my knees begging you to run your fingers through my hair," he whispered, his voice husky. "Last night was the greatest night of my life and unlife put together," he explained further. "I’m so happy I can’t seem to find the middle ground. So it was either one extreme or the other, and one of them was not even an option."
"I thought," she said swallowing hard, "that the best night of your life was when you killed your first Slayer."
"I have never wanted anything more than you nor have I ever waited as long for anything as you."
Buffy kept staring from his eyes to his mouth only to realize he was doing the same.
They moved forward eagerly then there was a slight shy hesitation before their mouths locked. After a few smoldering kisses they separated to let Buffy catch her breath. They laughed quietly, relieved to know that what they had felt the night before was real and had survived into the new day.
"One more," Spike said pulling her to him.
"Oh, yeah," breathed Buffy.
They pressed against each other, their mouths fused together, making the most of this stolen moment. With all the self-control they could muster, they stepped away from each other and returned to take their places at the table with the others.
As it turned out, the reason a meeting had been called was that Giles had decided that it was time to take the Slayer and her entourage into modern times. To that end Giles had arm-wrestled the Council into unblocking the funds needed for the surveillance, recording and communication equipment he wanted.
Xander and Willow were particularly excited at the idea of using modern technology to help Buffy in her work. Anya was intrigued how this would involve her and Tara worried that less attention would be given to spells. Giles explained to Anya how her knowledge of the Internet would come in handy and reassured Tara that if anything, they would concentrate even more on witchcraft to help the Slayer. Spike shrugged. He thought they’d been doing pretty well without all that spy stuff but if it made them happy and it didn’t get in the way of the actual slaying, he didn’t have a problem with it. For her part, Buffy resumed her thoughts thusly:
"Stakes are still my weapons?" she asked her Watcher.
"Yes," he confirmed.
"I won’t be weighed down with gadgets?"
"No."
"Great. Upgrade away."
Everyone laughed and Giles smiled in her direction before telling the group how he envisioned their future team efforts.
In the days that followed, the new couple coolly pretended for everyone that nothing had changed then secretly used any excuse to be alone. They had to be careful because it was very difficult to ignore the simple but strong impulses to just hold hands or hug. Instinctively they knew that they would have no support from Buffy’s friends and didn’t want to put any dampers on their newly gained happiness, at least for a little while. In the meantime they savored sneaking around like adolescents and making out in the oddest of places.
All the while, the situation in Sunnydale was becoming more wearisome as more men disappeared only to be found dead a few days later. Giles was very concerned, even more so because he didn’t have a clue to what was happening. Buffy’s reports about her patrols indicated that there was an increase in vampire and demon activity but nothing more. His books had revealed nothing and the Watcher’s Council weren’t very helpful either although they did give him the number of an operative based in Argentina who hopefully would have some answers. With a sigh Giles realized that the Council wasn’t particularly concerned over the situation because the fate of the world was not at stake. "Bastards," he muttered as he made the long distance call to South America.
When he ended the call Giles was a little more optimistic. The man he had spoken to, Jorge Parra, seemed very willing to help and was going to look into the matter immediately. From what Giles had told him, he recollected an old bit of legend and told Giles about it. It was all pretty vague but for now at least they had something with which to start: a name. His elation was short-lived however, when he heard Anya berating a customer for having perused merchandise for half an hour and then opting to leave empty handed. Putting his Watcher duties aside, Giles quickly went to the customer’s rescue.
The police had secured the building and the students were filing out in a more or less orderly fashion. Dawn couldn’t believe her luck. It was sunny, Friday and the threat of a bomb at her school had cancelled all her afternoon classes. Buffy had told her that she wouldn’t be home that afternoon so she was about to call one of the Scoobies to pick her up when a friend of hers told her that her dad would give her a lift. Dawn gladly accepted. She couldn’t wait to get home. The thought of having the house to herself was a godsend.
Dawn waved goodbye to her friend and bounded happily to the front door. She went in and already started planning her afternoon of TV, chips, ice cream and most importantly, no supervision. She threw her backpack on the couch and headed for the kitchen to get the goodies. And that’s when she heard it. Muffled sounds coming from upstairs.
Her first reaction was to panic but as she listened more intently she realized it was the same sounds she heard when Xander and Anya were making out and they thought nobody heard them. What the hell? She wondered. It couldn’t be them; it wouldn’t make any sense. Curiosity won over fear so she crept up the stairs.
Once she reached the second floor, she followed the sounds right to Buffy’s room. It couldn’t be, she thought, Buffy had no one in her life. Had Riley returned? Dare she look? On the one hand, it would be a huge breach of privacy; on the other hand she couldn’t stay in the house unsure of what was going on. Besides, Buffy wasn’t even supposed to be here. The door to the room wasn’t completely closed, it was only a matter of slightly pushing it and she would know. Quiet as a mouse Dawn held her breath as she nudged the door. Craning her neck she looked in and what she saw was forever seared in her brain. Her heart pounding she quickly retreated, went back down, grabbed her backpack and quietly exited the house.
Once outside, she sat on the porch trying to gather her wits. Her heart was still hammering and she was out of breath. She attempted to put order in her thoughts but she couldn’t process it all. It wasn’t as if she’d never seen two people engage in sexual intercourse ... courtesy of a friend sneaking in a pornographic movie at a not so well supervised slumber party- but to see the real thing was an experience that shook her in ways she didn’t fully understand and, quite frankly, did not wish to delve into.
Try as she might, the image would not go away. Her mind seemed to be stalled on rewind. So there she was, stuck with a few seconds worth of Spike and Buffy doing the wild thing. Her feelings about it were a messy mix of happiness, shock and shame. Happiness, because she’d been hoping forever that they would get together; shock, because she hadn’t seen it coming and wondered how long they’d been lovers; and finally shame, because despite the obvious "ew!" factor of seeing your sibling in the throes of passion, she had been turned on. Oh God, she thought, I’m going straight to hell for that. Dawn couldn’t erase the memory of Spike’s face and her sister’s transformed by passion and pleasure nor could she forget the soundtrack of their moans and groans. Then another thought came to haunt her. Just how long was she supposed to stay out here? As far as Buffy knew, Dawn was in school all afternoon. Well, she reasoned, they seemed to be on the verge of being done so maybe she could wait fifteen minutes or so, then go back in making a lot of noise to alert them to her presence. That sounded reasonable so that’s what she decided to do.
Up in Buffy’s bedroom the lovers basked in lazy satisfaction, kissing languorously, lightly caressing each other’s body not looking to start another bout of frenzied sex but just enjoying being close. They were laughing as they wrestled gently when they heard Dawn come in the house singing the latest song by N’Sync. They both sat up abruptly in bed looking at each other.
"Isn’t she supposed to be in school?" asked Spike.
"Yes. Something must have happened although by the sound of it, it can’t have been bad," replied Buffy as she hurriedly picked up her clothes.
Spike imitated her and within minutes they were both fully dressed. Buffy ran her fingers through her hair.
"How do I look?" she asked.
"Like a very satisfied woman," he leered.
She punched his shoulder but she was smiling.
"Do I look okay?" he asked in turn.
"You look adorable. I love it when your hair is mussed."
"I’ll keep that in mind," he told her as he smoothed it back.
Buffy took out a weapon from her closet and handed it to Spike. He took it looking perplexed.
"Alibi for you being in my room," she explained.
"Oh, right. Like I’m sure to go out slaying with you in the middle of the afternoon."
"Got a better idea Einstein?"
"Shag again?" he offered.
"You’re incorrigible," she sighed as she went past him.
"Damn straight!" he said to her back.
From the kitchen Dawn heard the couple coming down the stairs and assumed an air of total nonchalance.
"Hey Buffy," she greeted her sister. "I thought you wouldn’t be here this afternoon," she added swallowing hard.
Her sister was oblivious to her discomfort Dawn noted with relief.
"I was about to ask you the same thing. What happened?"
"Bomb scare, I got a lift from a friend," she replied.
"Oh, okay," said Buffy as she poured herself a glass of juice.
"How are you doing Nibblet?" the vampire asked ruffling her hair affectionately and setting the axe against the wall.
"Uh, good," she stammered, blushing furiously. "I’m just going to go watch some TV," she added quickly avoiding eye contact.
Spike’s gaze followed her as she scurried out as if her life depended on it.
"Something’s up Slayer," he stated.
This wasn’t going at all well. Her feeling of shame had not gone away and now it was compounded by a new shyness that she found hard to conceal. At least she knew were it stemmed from. Twenty minutes ago Buffy was her big sister and Spike her surrogate big brother. Now twenty minutes later, they were a man and a woman who had just had sexual relations. Suddenly she saw them as adults and that somehow distanced them from her.
"Why do you think something’s wrong Spike?" asked Buffy as she sipped her orange juice.
"Lil’ Bit can’t look at either you or me in the eyes and her blood is just about to ooze from her ears because her heart is hammering so damn hard."
"What?"
"Did you not hear what I’ve just said?"
"I did, but... are sure?"
Spike made a face.
"Yeah, okay. Vampiric senses and all that. I guess I’ll go and ask her."
Spike nodded and started to microwave a mug of blood from the supply that Buffy always kept in the fridge since Spike started patrolling with her.
Buffy found Dawn sitting in the living room. She noted with surprise how tense her sister was.
"Dawnie?" she asked gently, "What’s wrong?"
Buffy writhing underneath Spike her hands clenched in his hair.
"Honey?"
Dawn blinked and stared at the floor.
"N-nothing," she mumbled her heart racing.
"Dawn you’re worrying me. Did something happen?"
"No absolutely nothing! Why would you say that?" she asked suddenly panicked.
"It’s just that you seem... well, nervous."
"Just tired. I swear Buffy, nothing’s wrong."
Buffy decided not to push seeing how jumpy she was.
"Okay Dawn, but if you feel like talking, I’m here."
Dawn managed a smile and nodded. Buffy returned to the kitchen.
She found Spike enjoying his meal and with a sigh sat beside him.
"We’ve got major problems," she told him.
"Wouldn’t talk?"
"More like couldn’t. I don’t know what to do."
"Want me to give it a try?"
Buffy nodded and squeezed his hand. The vampire gulped down the rest of his mug and went to find Dawn.
"Platelet?" he called out. "You’re freaking your sister out. What’s the matter?"
Dawn literally jumped at the sound of his voice and very nearly bolted when he sat down beside her on the couch.
"Just like I told Buffy, nothing’s wrong," she said getting a little annoyed.
"Yeah? Why won’t you look at me?"
Spike thrusting vigorously into Buffy, the muscles of his arms and back taut with the strain.
"Dawn?"
The girl gulped, forced herself to meet his eyes and felt her ears burn. Spike observed her and backed down. He had an inkling of what was going on but he wasn’t positive. There was only one way to find out.
"Don’t worry Dawn," he said tenderly.
He got up and left a very perplexed teen to go find her elder sister.
The second Spike entered the kitchen Buffy bombarded him with questions.
"So, did you find out? What’s wrong? What did she say?"
"I think you need to sit down for this one."
"Spike you’re making me very nervous. What’s going on?"
"She didn’t say anything to me, but I think she’s acting that way because she knows about us. More specifically, she has probably seen us."
"Seen us?" Buffy repeated weakly.
"Making love," he concluded.
Buffy hit her forehead on the table.
"Oh my God. No, no, no. You must be wrong."
"Well, you’re right, I could be wrong. So, come with me to the living room, if her reaction is what I expect then I’m afraid baby sis has seen us in flagrante delicto."
"Huh?"
"Doin’ it."
"Oh."
"C’mon let’s see what’s what."
Buffy and Spike returned the living room making Dawn feel very self-conscious. They sat beside her and pretended to watch TV. They didn’t touch or make any overt gestures toward each other but now that she knew what to look for, Dawn felt their unspoken bond.
"So Dawn, do you know if the bomb scare was a prank by one of the students?"
Buffy and Spike groaning, the sound of their bodies slapping loud and attesting to the urgency of their need.
Dawn didn’t think she could get any redder as she felt another flush invade her cheeks.
"I, I don’t know. I guess I’ll find out on Monday," she said feebly.
Spike nodded discreetly to Buffy to join him in the kitchen.
"I’m going to have a sandwich. Dawn, do you want one?"
The teen shook her head hoping that Spike would leave too. With relief she watched the vampire rise and follow her sister.
"Well?" Buffy asked Spike when they were back in the kitchen.
"I’m sure. Poor kid’s got that deer-stuck-in-the-headlights look whenever she sees us."
Mortified, Buffy slumped in a chair.
"I am so not ready for this conversation. This was supposed to be mom’s problem. What am I supposed to say?"
"She’s old enough, you can talk truthfully to her about this."
"This being what? When do you think she saw us? We were so careful."
"My guess is today. Half an hour ago to be precise."
Buffy buried her face in her hands.
"My God, and that one was pretty..." she left off at a loss for words.
"Rough, animalistic, primal?" he offered.
"Spike!" she grimaced.
"Satisfying?" he threw in.
Buffy had to smile.
"Doesn’t this bother you at all?" she asked him.
"Only inasmuch it’s giving Dawn some grief. I’m not ashamed about anything we do. I love you Buffy, and sex is one dimension of it. Sometimes it’s slow and romantic, sometimes it’s just about comforting each other and sometimes it’s nasty, raw and needy like today. Nothing twisted here Buffy, just love."
Buffy sighed resigned to the task ahead. Biting her lips she trudged to the living room.
"Dawn, come with me to the backyard," she said to her sibling holding out her hand.
Dawn exhaled slowly and let Buffy lead her to the back porch. They sat side by side on the steps.
"Honey, there’s something I need to talk to you about."
The young girl tried to look calm.
"I’m in love with Spike and we’re together now."
"How long?" asked the young girl surprised that Buffy would so readily admit her feelings for the vampire.
"A week."
"Why didn’t you tell me sooner? You know this news is what I wanted to hear."
Buffy stared at her sister. How could she explain that half of the reason was the excitement of having a secret lover? She opted to tell her the other half.
"You know the waves this is going to make when I tell the gang about Spike. I just really don’t feel like dealing with that right now. So this has to stay between us, okay?"
"Promise!" beamed Dawn thrilled at being part of a deception.
Buffy hugged her tight.
"I want you also to know Dawn that just because Spike and I are together doesn’t mean that you are less important to me or that I’ll have less time to spend with you. You’re my sister, I love you and Spike does too."
"Can we sometimes do stuff all three of us?"
Buffy realized that Dawn was trying to recreate a family.
"Of course we will. So, are you okay with all this?"
Dawn nodded happily.
"Spike will be here often so we’ll have to be careful with the curtains during the day. Oh, that brings me to another subject."
Dawn cringed inwardly.
"I don’t need to tell you that knocking on my bedroom door will be of paramount importance?"
"Duh!" exclaimed Dawn.
"Great," concluded Buffy as she rose to return inside, then sat back down, as another thought struck her.
"This being the Hellmouth and all, and me being the Slayer and Spike a vampire, life will of course not be normal so should anything happen or if you need me, never be afraid or feel guilty to come and get me, no matter what I’m doing. Okay?" she said hoping that she was calming any fears that her sister might be harboring.
Dawn nodded shyly.
"Sure you don’t want a sandwich?"
"Nah, I’ll hang around here for a little bit."
"Okay."
Buffy walked back in the house relieved and elated that it had gone so well. Dawn breathed out. Thank God Buffy hadn’t asked her if she had seen anything. Eventually she’d get over her strange feelings she was certain. There was no need to discuss it. If only the images would go away.
Buffy breezed into the kitchen quite pleased with herself.
"How did it go?" asked Spike as he made some hot cocoa for himself.
"Just great. She’s totally thrilled that we’re together and she understands that just because I love you doesn’t change how much she means to me."
"Good. How did the sex talk go?"
"Uh..."
"Buffy? You did address that, right?"
"Kinda, sorta?"
"Hell, Buffy. Something’s going on and it’s best not to let that fester."
"She seemed fine to me," countered Buffy.
"Uh, yeah. That works all the time with humans. Let’s pretend everything is okay and just maybe it’ll go away."
"You’re such an expert, you talk to her."
"You think I wouldn’t?"
Buffy shrugged. Challenged, Spike took only one sip of his hot beverage and went to talk to the Slayer’s little sister.
Careful not to burn his hand by the sun Spike opened the back door and called out to Dawn. Alarmed, she got up and went in. The front porch of the house was shadowed so they went there.
"Dawn, you’re not a little girl so I’m going to talk to you like the young woman that you are," he began.
She braced herself.
"I know you saw us today."
And there it was. Dawn blushed for the umpteenth time, her cheeks on fire as she looked at her feet. Spike nibbled his lower lip. He needed to find the right words, he didn’t want to make her even more uncomfortable.
"I’m not upset or angry about it Dawn, nor is Buffy. But I think something is bothering you. Am I right?"
"Yes," she croaked.
"What is it?" he asked softly.
He saw her struggle with the answer.
"Were you embarrassed?" he helped her out by asking questions.
"A little," she answered.
"But that’s not all, is it?"
Dawn shook her head.
"Are you maybe feeling a little guilty because, on some level, you liked what you saw?"
Dawn bolted and only Spike’s vampire speed prevented her from rushing into the house.
"Dawn! Dawn, it’s okay," he said taking her in his arms. "There’s nothing wrong with what you’re feeling. It’s perfectly normal," he reassured her.
"It is?" she asked unsure.
"Yes. Hell, I can even get turned on by watching dogs have a go at it."
"Okay, ew on the imagery!" she grimaced.
"Agreed, but you get my point?’
Dawn slowly nodded.
"Nothing to be ashamed of. It’s just the nature of things and no one is immune to it."
"Not even Giles?" she laughed.
"Not even he," Spike laughed with her. "What say you and I go for a bite to eat after Buffy and I are done patrolling tonight?"
"Just you and me?"
Spike nodded.
"I’d like that," she said smiling broadly.
Spike then swore to her that their conversation was their little secret. Buffy appeared a little later asking if everything was all right. Her sister and the vampire shared a conspiratorial smile and Buffy sighed with relief. Whatever had troubled Dawn, Spike had ironed it out. Who knew that a former psychopath would have such good parental skills mused Buffy.
That evening, Giles called a meeting to give everyone an update. Although he still didn’t know a lot he was fairly certain they were dealing with a demon, female, and that her name was La Quintrala.
"Great," teased Buffy, "I’ll throw that name around while I’m dusting."
Spike bit back a laugh while Giles smiled sheepishly and said:
"Don’t worry Buffy. I’ll be getting more information tomorrow and then we can all help you with this."
"Relax Giles," Buffy reassured him "I have total faith in you and the gang."
They discussed a little more the situation then the conversation veered as it always did lately to Anya and Xander’s impending nuptials. Spike groaned and Xander invited him to leave.
"Why don’t you two just elope already?" he said looking at the couple. "It looks very complicated this marriage thing. Anya can’t get anyone to do what she wants and you get headaches thinking about it."
Tara, Willow and Giles smiled inwardly as they all had had that same thought for a while now.
"You wouldn’t understand," Xander dismissed him with a wave of his hand.
"Yeah? You love her and she loves you -don’t know why- but she does. That’s all that matters. If you want to be married so badly, just do it. Don’t see why all this nonsense should get in the way, especially if it annoys you so much."
Anya and Xander stared at each other then back at Spike. What he said had actually made a lot of sense.
"You’re right Spike," admitted Anya "but I want the trouble and the grief. I think it will be worth it in the end."
Spike shook his head but smiled.
"Well then. There’s nothing more to say. If it’s what you want then you should have it."
"Wait, I don’t think there was even an insult there" remarked Xander with wonder.
"That’s because I was talking to the lady," Spike said pointedly.
Anya beamed at him and for her sake Xander held his tongue.
"Hate to break up this love fest kids but Spike and I have to patrol," announced Buffy.
Spike rose and followed Buffy out while the wedding talk resumed behind them.
They walked in companionable silence until they reached the cemetery.
"That was actually kind of nice what you said to Anya," Buffy commented.
Spike shrugged.
"Never had any problems with her. She was actually pleasant to me on a number of occasions. Too bad really that she wants to be tied down to the whelp."
"Spike-" Buffy began.
"What?" he interrupted. "Just because he’s a mate of yours doesn’t make him one of mine."
"Will you let it go already? I don’t want to talk about Xander anymore so shut up and kiss me."
Buffy pulled his head down impatiently claiming his mouth. They kissed each other thoroughly for a few minutes, their desire seemingly unquenchable.
"What the hell?" said a disconcerted demon looking at the Slayer necking with a vampire.
Pulling away from Buffy, Spike sauntered toward the demon.
"Sorry you had to see that mate. Now I really have to do this."
Before the demon could react Spike snapped its neck. The vampire stood over him grinning with satisfaction.
"Right then. Where is everybody else? Party favors for all!"
Buffy smiled and then as if on cue, others began appearing keeping her and Spike busy for the next little while.
The next few days Buffy lived in a state of bliss. During the day she would go to class or spend time with Dawn while Spike slept. Sometimes he would join them and they would do something together like go to a matinee at the movies or hang around the mall to please Dawn. When Buffy went to see Giles to get an update or just to visit, Spike would occasionally accompany her. Whenever they were in public they were very careful to keep a certain distance between them. The bickering continued as usual but had they known what to look for, the Scoobies would have felt the undercurrent of affection running between the Slayer and the vampire. At night after patrolling together, they would go home and make love or if they were too tired, simply cuddled and talked until they fell asleep.
Friday evening Dawn left to spend the weekend in LA with her father. Spike and Buffy took advantage of having the house to themselves to have a romantic evening. They went patrolling but when they returned home eager to be alone, they did not pounce on each other as they usually did after a good round of slayings. Turning off the light and lighting a few candles, they took a long bath, softly caressing each other. Spike grabbed a sponge and started to lather her body. When he reached her breasts he covered them with soap then slowly uncovered them by squeezing the water from the sponge over them. Buffy slightly arched up, the tips of her breasts peaking out of the soapy water. The erotic sight of Buffy’s pink nipples in the near darkness caused Spike to harden.
"Let’s go to bed," he told her as he nuzzled her breasts.
"God, yes," she whispered in his ear.
Spike grinned at her eagerness. They dried each other quickly then moved to Buffy’s bed.
As a precaution Spike locked the door to the room. Since the incident with Dawn they no longer took any chances even if they knew they were alone in the house. Turning around Spike marveled at the beautiful naked young woman reclining invitingly on the bed waiting for him.
"Are you going to stare all night?"
"Worried I’m not going to take care of you, pet?"
"Petrified," she sighed dramatically.
Spike smiled and walked slowly towards her. Buffy scooted back to the head of the bed as he climbed on the mattress and crawled gracefully up her body. He reminded her of a mountain lion on the prowl. The muscles on his back and arms contracted and stretched with each movement. Incredibly turned on Buffy reached for him to pull him up so she could kiss him, but Spike had other plans.
"Not just yet baby," he said shaking his head to release her hold.
Buffy pouted until he started suckling her breasts. Hissing with pleasure she grabbed his head letting him know how much she enjoyed what he was doing. No one had ever paid so much attention to them. The touch of his tongue was not too rough, just light enough to drive her crazy. She felt like she was going to explode from the pressure that was building inside her body. Spike alternated between sucking one nipple while he slowly ran his thumb over the other one. He made sure that his finger was always wet by having Buffy suck it in her mouth, then he slid it smoothly in slow patterns, creating a wonderful friction. After a while he would switch breasts and begin again in earnest.
"Tell me how you feel Buffy," he murmured as his tongue circled one peak.
"Like you’re dialing 1-800 directly to Pleasure Center."
Spike smiled and continued his ministrations.
When Buffy began moaning non-stop and desperately tried to rub her pelvis against his, Spike lowered his left hand to her sex. Still suckling her breast, he introduced two fingers in her slick folds while his thumb caressed her clitoris. The movement of her hips told him what rhythm to adopt. He took her to the brink and stopped each time before completion. Frustration began to take hold of Buffy. Spike noticed her concentrated frown in trying to reach her release.
"Relax baby," he told her softly. "Don’t rush this. We’ve got all night and I can do this for as long as it takes. I want you to come Buffy. I want you to come hard."
She nearly did because of his words. He felt her struggle with her decision before relaxing completely and relinquishing her control over to him.
"That’s it, just let it happen luv. Don’t work for it, let me take you there."
Spike felt her begin to tense up so he sped up the rhythm and increased the pressure while still suckling her breast until she was crashing and crying out his name. He continued stroking her through the tremors and only stopped when her overloaded senses changed the pleasure to pain. Her heart pounding Buffy reached down and pulled him up so she could finally kiss his mouth.
When he opened his eyes she saw his raw need for her. He was almost trembling with it. Seeing her so wild and wanton with him, because of him, had severely taxed his control. Smiling at how she affected him Buffy grabbed his manhood at the base and began to stroke him slowly, teasing him by licking her lips. Spike groaned loudly. Then the phone rang simultaneously as the doorbell rang twice. Someone then entered the premises, went straight up to Buffy’s room and knocked on the door.
Neither lover was worried about an intruder, as the person had acted as per the protocol the gang had formulated for an emergency situation. Everyone had a key to Buffy’s house for such an eventuality. Incredulous, Spike shook his head violently:
"No. No, no, no, no. This isn’t bloody happening!" he whispered angrily.
"Hold on!" cried Buffy to whoever was at the door as she rolled to her side and grabbed the phone.
"What?" she answered moodily while Spike had settled on his back and was uttering obscenities into a pillow.
"Buffy, it’s Willow. You have to come immediately to the Magic Box. I’m here with Giles, Tara and Anya. Xander should be over soon to pick you up."
On cue, the knocking resumed on the door.
"He’s here," Buffy informed Willow. "Cut it out Xander! I’m on the phone with Willow so go downstairs and wait for me!" she yelled at the closed door. "Now Willow, are any of the Scoobies dead, dying, injured or captured?"
"Well, no."
"So calm down and tell me what’s happening."
Spike knew by her tone that it was serious. Great. A raging hard on and no relief in sight. Only one place to go to take care of his problem. Angry, frustrated and resigned, he started to sit up to go to the bathroom when Buffy placed a firm hand on his chest and pushed him back down. Annoyed, he was about to protest when she circled his shaft with her fist and proceeded to stroke him with intent. With her eyes she pleaded that it was the best she could do under the circumstances. Spike growled quietly his approval and folded his arms behind his head, determined to enjoy this.
While Buffy listened to Willow she watched her lover’s face contort with pleasure. He swallowed hard and she could see the corded veins in his neck as he neared his climax. She’d never seen anything more erotic and was aroused by it. When he started to moan quietly but continuously Buffy knew he was close. She increased the tempo until his eyes rolled back into his head and his mouth opened. Suddenly Spike grabbed his discarded T-shirt and shoved it in his mouth to stifle his shout. Spent, his whole body relaxed and he gave Buffy a lazy, grateful grin while he reached the nightstand for a tissue to wipe himself up.
"Okay Willow," said Buffy into the phone. "I’m up to speed and I’ll be there before you know it. Spike? Uh, yeah. I’ll get a hold of him."
"You already have, pet," he murmured mischievously.
Buffy swatted him playfully.
"Don’t worry Willow. We’ll figure this out. Bye."
As soon as she hung up Spike tackled her.
"Naughty girl. Getting your lover off while talking to Red. I loved it!"
"What am I going to do with you?" she asked with mock indignation.
"More of the same hopefully," he retorted.
"God I hope so," she sighed kissing him deeply.
Coming up for air she told him that they had to get going.
"How d’you want to go about it? You leave and I join you at the Magic Box fifteen minutes later?"
"Yeah. That sounds good. But how do I explain to Xander that I’ve reached you? You don’t have a cellular."
Spike thought for a while.
"We could pretend that you gave me a beeper today and that’s how you contacted me."
"You don’t have a beeper."
"So I’ll pretend that I lost it while fighting a demon or some other nasty. Or-"
"Or," she interrupted him. "We could just stop pretending altogether. I’m so tired of keeping my feelings under wrap."
"Buffy, I’ll play this any way you want it. I’m still reeling from the fact that you love me. I don’t care if you want to keep this secret for the rest of your life."
"I don’t want you to be a secret. I’m not ashamed of you Spike. It’s just that I didn’t feel like putting up with anybody’s crap."
"I know Buffy, but if you’re doing it for the sake of my feelings, don’t. I don’t give a fuck about anybody’s opinion but yours. What do you want?"
Buffy smiled at him and kissed his cheek.
"I want you. With me. All the time."
"Won’t Xander be the happy camper," he deadpanned.
Ten minutes later they went down the stairs and headed straight for the front door. Xander practically tripped over himself when he saw them come down together, Spike’s arm around her shoulders and hers around his waist.
"What the f-" he started to say.
"Don’t want to hear it Xander," Buffy snapped. "Now, let’s go."
When the Scooby Gang heard the doorbell chime all heads turned to see Buffy saunter in, her hand firmly clasped in Spike’s. Behind them Xander shook his head in disbelief.
"Hi everybody. Everyone here? Great. Okay Giles, who is this chick and how do I kill her?"
That’s my girl thought Spike proudly. They sat together at the table and turned to Giles. There was an awkward silence.
"Well?" Buffy demanded "Don’t tell me I got out of my comfy bed so we could all stare at each other."
"It’s just that-" began Giles.
"It’s just that we’re a little, no, a lot stunned by what is happening here!" cut in Xander. "What’s wrong with you Buffy, are you insane or just under a fucking spell?" he added with malice.
Spike shot Xander a murderous warning glance. He had promised the Slayer that he would not speak to the boy at all but he definitely would get in his face, chip or no chip, if he continued to badger her.
"Back off Xander. I’m in no mood for your little dart show." Buffy then turned to Giles "Spike is my boyfriend. I love him." Then she addressed the entire group. "It’s not a spell and none of you are dreaming. If you have a problem with it, too bad. Get over it and move on. My private life is just that –private. Is there something you’d like to add?"
No one missed the adoring glance the vampire gave the Slayer. Properly chastised they all shook their heads.
"Excellent. And by the way, we’re changing the protocol for an emergency situation. I don’t want a repeat of today," declared Buffy.
"It was good enough when we thought it up," muttered Xander.
"I was single then and that’s the end of this conversation," she said firmly. "Giles? What do you have for us?"
Stammering a little at first trying to ignore this new development between Spike and Buffy, Giles told them that the latest victim was a policeman who also happened to be the mayor’s son-in-law. Needless to say, the situation had worsened and the police were now on the warpath which if anything complicated matters.
"I think we must get one of her slaves to talk," the Watcher concluded.
"I tried that," Buffy protested, "but none of them will talk."
"We need one live," observed Xander.
"Xander is right," agreed the Watcher, "Jorge Parra, my South American contact, told me that the men were usually picked up in popular clubs by slaves of La Quintrala then taken to her. Let’s head out to the Bronze, it would be the best place in town for La Quintrala’s boys to find someone."
"Let’s go then," said Buffy.
The Scoobies shuffled out of the Magic Box and headed for the Bronze. Upon entering the club they scanned the crowd but saw nothing unusual and Buffy and Spike could not detect any vampires or demons. Giles insisted that they stay a little while longer. They found a table and Xander went to get everyone something to drink.
There weren’t enough chairs to go around so Willow sat in Tara’s lap and Buffy in Spike’s. The next song that started to play was a favorite of Buffy’s. It was loud and catchy. She was bopping so happily to the beat that Spike just had to ask if she wanted to dance. Buffy squealed and jumping off his lap led him to the dance floor. They danced with enthusiasm the next set then returned to their table.
All of Buffy’s friends stared at them. Some with wonder others with curiosity and others still with open hostility. For the first time Buffy felt uncomfortable being with Spike. Her malaise was short-lived however as she sensed several vampires enter the premises. She looked at Spike who nodded that he too had felt them. Buffy motioned to the gang that they had found what they were looking for. Leading the way, they zeroed in on the group.
There were five vampires and two demons in human disguise. For the most part they were an unremarkable lot save for one who sat in the corner quietly assessing the situation. He was dressed all in black that almost matched his dark brown hair and eyes. He was impeccably groomed; his hair cut in a style reminiscent of the nineteen forties. He exuded class and authority but without the attitude.
"Okay boys," Buffy said. "Let’s take this outside."
"Run along little girl," jeered one of them, "you’re way out of your league."
"Hey!" interjected Xander. "That’s the Slayer you’re talking to. Have a little respect."
"The Slayer," murmured the pensive one.
Spike scowled. This one was different. Definitely vampire but there was something about him.
"Great," said another one as he rose from the table. "Always wanted to have myself a Slayer. Guess today is my lucky day."
"Like the lady said Dylan, take it outside," reminded the vampire in the corner.
"But this won’t take but two seconds!" Dylan protested.
"I said outside," the other stated raising his voice with barely a hint of violence.
Dylan cowered and did as he was told. Buffy shot Spike a look of wonder. He shrugged, equally baffled.
In a very civil manner the creatures of darkness and the Slayer and her group left the Bronze and faced off in the alley.
"Before we get this show on the road, I have to ask. Does the name La," Buffy faltered unable to remember the name.
"La Quintrala," supplied Giles.
"Right. What he said. Ring any bells?" she asked all around.
Silence greeted her query.
"Okay," she sighed, "the hard way it is."
She threw the first punch and the battle was on.
Anya and Xander worked in tandem, while he pinned one down, Anya would do the staking. Willow and Tara using their wiccan power would stun their adversaries throwing them backwards making it easier for the others to take them out. Giles took out his crossbow from his long coat and used it with deadly efficiency. Buffy made quick work of her opponent then went to aid the others. Spike had taken on the leader and knew within a few blows that as sure as his opponent couldn’t defeat him, Spike couldn’t best him either. They were both of the same height and roughly the same build. He was swift and extremely strong. Never once did he morph into gameface. He was in complete control of his demon.
After four of the vampires had been dusted and the two demons killed, Giles reminded the others that they needed Spike’s opponent alive. As if he had heard, Spike’s rival suddenly stopped fighting.
"I’m impressed," he said looking around him.
Turning toward Spike he introduced himself:
"I am known as Neruda," he said with a slight bow of the head.
"The Slayer you’ve met," Spike presented the others taking his cue from the stranger. "This is her Watcher, Rupert Giles; the witches Tara and Willow; Xander and his fiancée Anya; I am Spike."
"A Slayer with friends. Unusual," observed Neruda.
"Not that this isn’t fascinating but can we get on with what we want to know? ‘Cause if not, I have a stake all ready for you."
Neruda smiled patiently.
"Feisty too. You must have your hands full with her" he said to Spike who was the only one not surprised that Neruda had guessed correctly about his relationship with the Slayer.
Turning to Buffy Neruda went on:
"You are also young," he said his tone harder, "and still naïve in some ways. The only reason all my men are dead is because that’s what I wanted."
"What do you mean?" asked Buffy bewildered and a little miffed that he was dismissing her capabilities.
"Oh. Now I have vexed you. How clumsy of me. What I meant to say is that I’ve been wanting to talk with someone but I couldn’t with all these witnesses. This is why I let the events unfold as they did."
The Scoobies exchanged quizzical glances. Who was this individual?
"I have much to tell and only one condition," he said. "I talk solely to the vampire."
Buffy nodded. She looked at Spike to see if there was any inconvenience on his part. Spike winked at her then walked over to Neruda’s side.
"Let’s you and I step out for a while. D’you fancy a beer?"
"I’m more partial to wine but I haven’t had beer in a long time. Lead the way."
The two nocturnal creatures walked away leaving the Slayer and the Scoobies behind. Buffy knew that her friends were dying to grill her about her relationship with Spike but she was in no mood to talk, even less to explain.
"Well, we’ve accomplished what we set out to do. I’m bushed, I’ll see you guys tomorrow."
She was gone before anyone had a chance to say one word.
"Isn’t anybody going to say anything about what’s going on between Buffy and Spike?" said Xander moodily.
The vampires walked side by side, strangely comfortable with each other.
"So," began Neruda "just how long have you and that young lady been an item?"
"You’re so bloody polite for a vampire," remarked Spike with a laugh.
"I used to be a country gentleman," explained his companion.
"Is Neruda your real name?"
"No. I was born Darío Carrera Sancho but my favorite poet is Pablo Neruda and since I often recite his poems well, someone started calling me "Neruda" and the nickname stuck. What about you?"
Spike laughed and told him how he got his from torturing his victims with railroad spikes. Neruda appraised him then said:
"Order of Aurelius?"
"How did you know?" wondered Spike.
"There’s a quality about you and that bloodline is very distinctive."
Spike realized yet again that this was no ordinary vampire.
"Are you hungry? I know a place where we can get fresh blood. It’s pig’s blood, not human, but it’s better than nothing. I can’t stop you from feeding on humans but I can’t allow you to do it in my presence."
"I wouldn’t know. I don’t eat humans."
"Come again?" Spike asked clearly stunned.
"I don’t feed on humans," repeated Neruda visibly amused.
"By choice or because you can’t?"
"By choice."
"So what’s you red elixir of choice then?"
"Cow’s blood."
"Cows?" asked Spike incredulous.
"If you find a herd, you can feed on many a little at a time. The animals are mildly inconvenienced and the humans are none the wiser," offered Neruda.
"Like a parasite."
"Perhaps," chuckled Neruda, "but I always have fresh and available food. Most importantly, I’m not hunted."
"You must not live in the city I take it?" inquired Spike as he opened the door to Willy’s.
"No. I always stick to the countryside."
"How do you manage here? Not too many cows around."
They sat at a table and Spike signaled for two beers.
"La Quintrala sees to my needs," said Neruda.
"I see."
"I don’t think you do."
Spike mulled this over as they were handed their drinks. He decided to change tactics.
"How long have you been around?" he asked.
"Four hundred and thirty nine years in September."
Spike whistled.
"I suddenly feel like a puppy with my measly one hundred and forty six."
"Weche!" laughed Neruda. "On the contrary, it’s a credit to you that you’ve made it this far intact with your reputation. I, on the other hand, have none. I have lived my life quietly in the Chilean countryside. Never challenged, never defeated."
"I get the feeling that it would be unwise for anyone to challenge you. I’m curious though, how do you survive? I mean you must have some kind of income if you don’t kill humans."
"As it turns out, certain people seem to feel that I have a way with the written word and that my poetry has some flair. I get requests by letter or tape sent to a postal box to help writers, poets and singers when they are out of inspiration. I get paid handsomely for what comes naturally to me. I am well known by name but few have ever seen me. I like it that way. A sort of anonymous fame. Oh, and by the way, just because I don’t feed on humans, doesn’t mean I don’t kill them."
"In self-defense?"
"Sometimes. But I mostly have intervened when the law was useless to stop a serial killer or rapist."
"Why bother?"
"Life is hard enough as it is for humans. They should only have to fear creatures like us, not their own. Besides, I get to relieve my thirst for violence."
"I can relate to that but why won’t you drink from these criminals?"
"Blood most foul," grimaced the older vampire.
"Any other reason would make you kill a human?" Spike fished.
"Only one other. Should anyone try to harm La Quintrala I would be compelled to stop them."
"With terminal force?"
"If need be. I like you Spike, but tell your human friends that as much as I understand that they must stop her, I will not allow her to be hurt."
"Why such devotion? This might get you killed."
"I love her. I know that what she does is wrong but what she did out of a capricious and rebellious soul as a human, is now her nature as a demon."
"How on earth did you two meet in the first place?" wondered Spike.
Neruda sighed and shook his head. "It’s not very romantic I’m afraid. I saw her kill a man and I helped her dispose of the body."
"I dunno, as a vampire, that strikes me as quite romantic." Spike deadpanned.
Neruda scowled at him at first then laughed till there were tears in his eyes.
"Ay, cabro!" he exclaimed wiping his eyes. "Thank you for that. I haven’t laughed this much in decades."
Spike smiled and shook his head.
"Doesn’t it bother you to share her with all these men?" asked Spike staring at his mug of beer.
"I have never possessed her that way. So I do not share. But I am sole master of her heart. And so again, I do not share."
"So let me get this straight. She and you never..."
"No."
"So, what? No sex? Ever?"
Neruda burst out laughing at Spike’s utter disbelief.
"Not when I’m with her. But when she’s not around I’m very game."
"And how long has she been back?"
"Four months."
"Climbing the walls yet?" Spike teased.
"Strangely no. I manage to sublimate it, otherwise there would be a lot more dead bodies littering our trip north. Mind you, when she goes back to her dimension and I recover from my heartache, I think I’ll go on a fucking spree."
Spike coughed and spilled some beer at his unexpected choice of words.
"Sorry," he said. "I just wasn’t expecting you to say that at all."
Neruda threw his head back laughing. "I’m not a saint Spike."
"Oh, but you are. Knowing that Buffy wants me and not do anything about it, I think I’d rather stake myself."
"Yes, but then again, our women’s natures are very different, no? The Slayer is true to you but La Quintrala can’t be to me. At least not physically, so she gives me what I prize above all else, her heart and eternal devotion. That’s why I can stand it."
"I guess that’s one way to look at it," philosophized Spike.
"I don’t expect you to understand," sighed Neruda.
"But I do mate, I do. I couldn’t do it though. Hell, anybody inasmuch looked at the Slayer the wrong way and I’d tear them from limb to limb."
"I have seen your woman. Had I two hundred years less and not be presently in love, you and I might have words."
"Wouldn’t make a bit of difference friend. I would still be the one," Spike retorted with more confidence than he really felt.
"Excellent. It takes some people all their lives to understand this and they waste precious time doubting themselves and their loved ones."
Spike shook his head chuckling. "You’re quite the philosopher."
"It would be quite a sad state of affairs if after having lived all this time I hadn’t gained some insight into this wonderfully chaotic world. I don’t understand why our kind is so intent to send all this to hell. After all, with a little patience, humans will do this all on their own."
"But you like this world?"
"Oh, enormously. Otherwise I would have met the sunrise a long time ago."
"I like it too. What do you miss the most?"
"Two things really. The feel of the sun on my skin and going swimming in the ocean in daytime."
"You can still go at night," suggested Spike.
"Not the same. You’re originally from England, yes?"
"Born and raised in London," the younger vampire confirmed.
"I was born in the desert and raised by the seashore and I loved both extremes then as I do now. Whenever I could, I’d go swimming, never dreamed it would end so soon."
"How old were you when you were turned?"
"Seventeen."
"You look older. Like your mid-twenties."
"Times were rougher. People matured faster, they also died younger."
"Why are you so different?"
Neruda set down his half empty mug carefully.
"Something happened that night during my turning," he began. "Everything was different. He was different. I was in the oasis of San Pedro de Atacama where I was born, overseeing a small business matter for my father. Because there was a full moon the night was bathed in this ethereal shade of purple-blue tones. It’s a magical time when it happens. You really should take your woman there, there is nothing quite like it."
He took a long sip of beer then went on:
"Anyway, that’s why I was walking around instead of being in bed asleep. I was leaving La Plaza Mayor when I saw him. He looked desperate and depressed. I thought I’d take him home and give him something to eat but as soon as I approached him he turned his face away and begged me to run, that he wouldn’t be able to control it for much longer. I just thought that he was delirious with hunger so I paid no heed to his warning. As I got nearer I realized that he was a mestizo and I thought he was afraid I was going to give him a hard time. To ease his mind I asked him to which noble tribe he belonged. He smiled a little at that and told me his mother’s people were Mapuche. He entreated me once more to turn back. I of course ignored this and grabbed his shoulder to steady him. That’s when his face changed into what I assumed at the time to be Satan himself."
Spike chuckled at this.
"I remember crossing myself and surrendering my soul to God before he grabbed me roughly by the neck. His hideous face was inches from mine. It changed back to its human form for a few fleeting moments and then he said, "I’m sorry". He changed again and the last thing I saw were his sharp fangs and the last thing I heard was a faint chanting coming from behind him. When I awoke I found myself in some sort of stable. He just sat there looking at me with tenderness and dread. Tenderness because I was the first person he had ever sired and dread because of what he was about to ask me. I was starving for blood and my first instinct was to get out and grab the first human and drain him but his hand detained me and sternly he told me to get a hold of myself and think about what I was about to do. Killing humans was wrong and drinking from animals would do just as well. Fighting the haze of the bloodlust I realized he was right. My demon you see is weak and partial to humans as was his. Anyway, my Sire brought me several horses and I was told to drink from each so as not to drain one. Satiated I sat back down and asked the creature: "What are you and what am I?" He sat next to me and proceeded to tell me his tale and how he came to be a vampire. It was the usual story with an unusual twist for after he was turned he had returned to his mother’s people who upon witnessing his change had called La Machi who threw a spell on him and all his line to enable them to discern good from evil."
"A soul?"
"No. An innate knowledge of right or wrong."
"Like a soul then," reasoned Spike.
"Partially, because a soul gives you compassion, empathy, regrets and remorse and a host of other emotions. I don’t have those feelings. When I kill an evil man I don’t feel for his victims, I just know that what was done to them is wrong."
"Then how was your Sire able to turn you? That is most certainly wrong," protested Spike.
"The spell is one of knowledge," explained Neruda, "it’s not binding in the sense that if I choose to be evil, nothing will stop me. My Sire was in quite a predicament when he chanced upon me. His horse had broken its leg and he had to kill it. Now he was stuck in San Pedro de Atacama with no way to return to his hideout. He had fed off his dead horse and then hidden in the church for a few days, then other places but animals were scarce then as they are now in the oasis and his hunger was unbearable. When I found him he was at the end of his rope physically and mentally. He was famished and tired of his existence. He said that with one look at me he knew he had found his solution from both problems. You must understand that he never would have done this had he not been out of options. Once he had finished to tell me his tale and all I needed to know about my situation he handed me a stake. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Do the right thing." Without hesitation I plunged it in his heart."
Spike winced at the words.
"I told you, I don’t feel compassion. He wanted to die, I obliged."
"But he was your Sire-"
"It’s what he wanted," Neruda cut him off. "It was my duty to do as he asked. The funny thing is I never knew his name..." he finished lost in thought.
"What about your family?"
"They were in Antofagasta. I suppose they assumed I was dead when they had no news from me and I didn’t try to contact them. Better that way."
"You mentioned some chanting when you were being turned, what was it?’
"Magical echoes of the spell transferring from my Sire to me."
"And all this time you’ve kept to yourself?"
"Mostly though I did go to the valley of Maipo to find my Sire’s people and tell them what had happened to him. They were saddened by his passing but proud that he chose an honourable death."
"Didn’t you learn his name then?"
"No because they told me that that person was long gone and we were not to speak of him. They had given what he had become a nickname and it became mine, "La Criatura", the creature. Every now and then I visit them. I have always found a safe haven with them. Because they have a strong oral tradition, the story gets transmitted from generation to generation so that I never have to explain who and what I am."
"Practical."
Neruda nodded and ordered two more beers.
"Do you like football?" Spike asked trying to lighten the mood. The other vampire smiled genuinely.
"Love it. You must be a Manchester United man, no?"
"I am," Spike confessed. "You?"
"Great team but I have soft spot for Real Madrid."
"I never would have guessed," quipped Spike.
There was a pause then Spike became serious again.
"Why don’t you step away from this bad business? We won’t stop until she is dead."
"Before that happens I will be dust," Neruda replied calmly.
"Won’t change your mind?"
"Would you turn your back on the Slayer even if she had gone over to the darkness?"
"No."
"Then you know my mind," the older vampire concluded.
Changing the topic the two vampires talked for a long time sipping their beers and swapping stories of their past finding that they decidedly got on very well.
Later that night, a pensive Spike made his way back to Buffy’s house. Between the Slayer bringing out into the open her relationship with him to her friends and their subsequent meeting with Neruda, it had certainly been an eventful night. His talk with the Hispanic vampire had put certain things in perspective and he wanted Buffy’s opinion on one topic in particular though he feared even asking because of the possible answer. The one he didn’t want to hear. Spike was enamoured of the thought of finding the love of his life, realizing it and living it. He had thought that Drusilla was that love but recent events had proved him wrong. Neruda and La Quintrala had known it and lived it. In his heart, Spike knew that Buffy was the one but he wondered if she felt the same way. That she loved him he was certain, but was he sole master of her heart? That remained a mystery. And on a subconscious level, it bothered him.
Buffy was sleeping when Spike quietly slipped into bed. He enjoyed watching her breathe and listening to the peaceful rhythm of her heart. His contemplation of her was soon disturbed however by her wandering hands under the bed sheet. Spike looked at her with a feral smile, pinning her under him as a wave of lust washed over him.
"I can’t believe you told your friends about us," he mumbled kissing her senseless.
"I can’t believe I didn’t tell them sooner," she said between sighs.
"No regrets?"
"No regrets."
"Good."
They melted in each other’s arms and spoke no more.
Once Buffy was able to catch her breath she turned on her side facing her lover.
"Is something wrong?" she asked softly.
"Why? Was it not good?" he asked worriedly.
"Were you not here just a few moments ago when I nearly woke up the whole neighborhood?"
Spike smiled smugly.
"What I mean is you were making love as if one of us wasn’t going to survive tomorrow."
Spike propped his head on his fist.
"I’m not worried about that but talking with Neruda has made me think about a few things."
"Such as?"
"Well for starters, I know I don’t say it often enough but I love you Buffy-"
"I know that silly-"
"Let me finish. I love you. You need to always remember this: whatever happens today or tomorrow, even if we’ve had the fight of the century, I love you. However ugly things get, my feelings for you do not change."
"Why are you talking this way Spike?"
"I couldn’t bear it luv if you died thinking that I don’t love you to distraction. Do you understand?"
"You love me to distraction?"
"You are missing the point," he said irritated.
"Just teasing. Look I know you love me. You have a great capacity to love Spike. I mean you and Drusilla-"
"That wasn’t the same."
"You’re saying you didn’t love her?"
"I loved Dru deeply and devotedly but she was never completely mine. The only reason we lasted as long as we did was because Angelus didn’t return sooner. That bastard changed everything and made a breach in my feelings for Dru. Nothing that made me reconsider being with her mind you. I was so pathetically blind and it’s not as if she and Angelus tried to spare my feelings. They flaunted their rekindled union in my face. But Dru, sweet, mad Dru, she didn’t understand why she couldn’t have both of us. Instead of realizing then and there that Dru could leave me so easily I figured that if I could just get rid of Angelus all my problems would be solved. And it did for a time but while I refused to acknowledge Dru’s betrayal and clung to the illusion of our love, I somehow failed to realize that I was no longer solely focused on her. Dru was wise to me though and she dropped that little bomb about my unresolved issues with you. I thought she was off her rocker for thinking like that but as usual, when it comes to these matters, she was dead on. You’re my third love Buffy. And the way I look at it I went from nothing to everything. Cecily wouldn’t even look at me, Dru loved me but with so many strings attached, I admit, I was exhausted at the end and now here you are. Beautiful, strong, aggravating, smart, stubborn, willful, brave, fearless, playful, loving Buffy. Without a doubt, the happiest I’ve ever been and it’s all because of you and that, has never happened to me before."
Buffy absorbed all he said first with astonishment then joy. She moved to lie on top of him and kissed his chest.
"I hadn’t thought about it before but you’re my third love too, Spike," she revealed to him. "And it’s the first time I have ever felt so free. With you I can be myself. I don’t have to hide anything, pretend being something I’m not and enjoy my life as is for however long I have. Without a doubt, the happiest I’ve ever been."
Spike beamed at her.
"I just wish mom were here," she added as an afterthought.
"Don’t think she’d be too thrilled with your choice of beaux," remarked Spike.
"She would have warmed up to you eventually, you know she had a soft spot for you?"
"Yeah, I do. Wonderful lady your mum was."
Buffy snuggled in his arms feeling suddenly blue.
"I miss her."
"I know, pet."
Buffy burrowed even deeper, losing herself in Spike’s embrace as she cried softly.
"I’ve got you Slayer, I’ve got you," he whispered as he rocked her gently.
It was the little things that convinced Giles that William the Bloody and Buffy the Vampire Slayer were truly in love. More than any explanation that Buffy could offer, it was the way they looked at one another when they thought nobody was watching, the constant touching and the tenderness inherent in every touch, be it when she absent mindedly ran her fingers gently through his hair while they spoke softly, or when he tucked an errant lock of hair behind her ear. Giles also noticed how they spoke of each other when the other was absent. Most telling of all however was that they made each other laugh. A lot. And that was something that Giles found priceless. For that alone Spike had snatched a small morsel of Giles’ affection. There was of course also that whole sexual element to their relationship that Giles simply ignored. He knew it was going on but like most fathers preferred not to think about it. All these things combined informed the Watcher that his charge had found the genuine article in a vampire. That definitely was not in the Slayer Handbook.
"Sod the Handbook," muttered Giles. "Buffy is writing her own."
One new aspect that Giles had not anticipated was how the level of trust between Buffy and Spike would affect his chip. Matters came to a head one late afternoon during Buffy’s training. Giles kept half an eye on them while he continued his research with the Scoobies except Anya who had gone off to talk over some details with the caterer for the wedding. Giles would never admit it to anyone but he loved to watch Buffy and Spike spar. They were agile, graceful, precise fighters. Because he couldn’t really hit back, Spike relied on his resourcefulness. Using her own strength against her, Spike was able to defend himself without hurting Buffy at all. If she pushed, he pulled. When she pulled, he pushed. Using the momentum of her blows he simply redirected it to his advantage. Invariable they landed on the ground, his body breaking her fall. Though they took Buffy’s training seriously, they couldn’t resist stealing a few kisses when Giles wasn’t looking. It was after one such exchange that Buffy had an epiphany:
"Hit me Spike."
"Come again?"
"You heard me. Hit me."
"No," he said annoyed with her.
"C’mon Spike. If what I think is true then your chip won’t activate at all."
"What are you going on about woman?"
Spike was angry. The one subject that still made him sore was the infamous chip. At Spike’s angry tone Giles’ attention went on full Watcher mode while the others merely lifted their heads from their books in wonder.
"What’s going on?" he asked both of them going into the Training Room followed by a curious Xander.
"She’s gone daft, she has," muttered Spike walking away.
"Hey!" exclaimed Buffy indignantly.
Turning to Giles she explained her theory. The Watcher mulled it over while he wiped his glasses. His main concern of course was that Spike would bite Buffy. That however entailed an evil intent while what Buffy proposed was that now that Spike did not want to hurt her, the chip would not activate. It was a little confusing and definitely a stretch of the imagination but it was worth a try. If it worked, Buffy would gain tremendously in no-holds-barred fighting with Spike.
And it worked. It took a lot of coaxing, reassurance and finally a little goading for Spike to throw the first punch but when he realized that there was no pain he quickly got into it. Buffy smiled, it was almost like old times. Spike was thinking along the same lines as he deftly blocked all her blows.
"I can’t even use my best lines anymore. What am I supposed to say now? Just wait till I get you alone? Very threatening."
"You think you could be a threat even if I let you?" Buffy taunted.
"That’s it. You’re going down Slayer."
"God, if I have to hear any more of this kind of lovey-dovey shit from the dead guy I’m going to gag," declared Xander grimacing.
Buffy’s face registered hurt at his words and Spike’s fury but he let it go in favor of distracting her by lunging at her. She knew what he was doing and smiled at him as she bounced back on her feet. Giles however was not so easily pacified.
"Xander, may I have a private word with you?"
The young man nodded angrily following Giles out of the shop into the alley.
Once they were out of earshot Giles exploded:
"You are going to change your attitude toward Buffy starting immediately!"
"It’s not Buffy I have a problem with," Xander defended himself. "Well maybe a little," he amended, "but it’s him. Deadboy junior."
"The result is the same. You carve into him, you’re carving into her."
"But it’s wrong on so many levels, and you know it!" cried Xander exasperated.
"Xander, I want you to listen to me very carefully. Buffy is like a daughter to me. I have seen her go to hell and back several times, not to mention the whole death business, and she isn’t twenty-two yet. No matter how much we stand by her we will never know or feel what it is being the Slayer and laying your life down everyday of your life. I’m not fond of Spike but she has chosen him. She’s in love with him and he clearly worships the ground she walks on. I for one believe that Buffy deserves nothing less and I intend to let her enjoy her happiness."
"Am I the only one who hasn’t got blinders on?" retorted the young man. "He’s a member of the living dead. Buffy is alive. He’s evil, she isn’t. You see the pattern here?"
"No matter how much it irks you, Spike is the only who has measured up. I don’t know what sort of psychological hang-up has got you in knots but you’d better work through it or suppress it. I don’t care either way, just do it!"
The Watcher stomped out leaving Xander stunned and livid at the dress down.
The afternoon soon turned into evening and all agreed to take a few hours break from the research. Tara suggested they walk and have a slice of pizza somewhere. Everyone agreed save for Giles who preferred to go home for a bite. Shortly after the Watcher left with a few books under his arm. The Scoobies were eager for the fresh air and the distraction. Buffy and Spike thought of joining the others but Xander muttered something unpleasant and Buffy immediately changed her mind and went home instead, followed by a livid vampire.
"Keep it up Harris, just keep this up," he snarled as he went by Xander on his way out.
"I’m shaking Billy!" he shouted to Spike’s back.
Tara bit her lower lip, uncomfortable with the sudden tension. Willow was red with indignation.
"Xander!" she called harshly.
"Now what?" he said still annoyed about Spike.
One look at Willow and he knew she was angry.
"Sorry. What is it Will?"
"Give Buffy a break and get off Spike’s back."
"Not you too!" whined Xander.
"I’m not the first?"
"Get in line."
"Well good. Maybe you’ll listen to one of us."
"Have you forgotten that Evil Dead tried to kill us at one point?"
"Yeah, but he didn’t. Besides, he’s tried to kill Buffy zillions of times and she’s forgiven him."
"That’s because he’s got her under some kind of demonic-"
"Xander, I’ve had just about enough. Grow up! Buffy is an adult. She neither needs nor wants your unsolicited advice."
"Is it "Bash Xander" day and everybody got a memo but me?" he cried exasperated.
"Xander get a grip and look at the big picture. Buffy is happy. A happy Buffy is a strong Slayer and a strong Slayer makes it safer for all of us and the people we love. I can’t see one negative thing about this."
"The negative here would be Spike."
"While you’re so worried that Spike will totally corrupt Buffy, did it ever occur to you that she could be having a positive effect on Spike, or is she too weak in your eyes?"
Xander had no retort for that. Willow smiled sadly.
"Do some hard thinking Xander. Buffy needs you on her side. When you’re like this, you’re what’s negative."
Having spoken her peace, Willow grabbed Tara’s hand and walked away leaving behind a perplexed and slightly humiliated young man.
Willow and Tara sat at the corner pizza joint after having wandered about for half an hour.
"That didn’t go too well," said Tara thoughtfully as she took a bite of her slice of pizza.
"I was a little rough on Xander," conceded Willow with a sigh, "but he just made me so mad."
"Oh, no sweetie. I didn’t mean you, I meant the gang’s reaction to Spike being Buffy’s boyfriend."
"I know, the love there was palpable," she said sarcastically. "It probably confirmed all the fears she had in telling us about him. When I told Buffy about you, she was surprised, but made the effort. And the others did too. But do you know who made me feel most comfortable?"
"Spike?"
"Spike."
"Being a vampire, I guess nothing phases him."
Willow shrugged. "The point is we could have reciprocated."
"You’re right but in all fairness, he was a killer."
"That’s just it Tara, was a killer. Not anymore. He’s been helping us for how long now? And what about Buffy? Hey, so glad you’re back, what the hell are you doing with Spike?" Willow shook her head dejectedly. "Very supportive."
Tara caressed Willow’s face tenderly. "There must be something we can do to smooth things over."
"I have an idea," beamed Willow.
"I knew you would, sweetheart."
Tara leaned in affectionately and nuzzled her girlfriend’s neck.
As soon as Xander got back home, Anya jumped in his arms even though hers were laden with different samples of cloth materials for the bridesmaids’ dresses. They kissed and stumbled around a little. No matter how his day had gone, Xander always could look forward to Anya’s welcoming embrace. It was something he never got tired of and it never failed to surprise him how genuinely happy she was to see him. She was a treasure and he knew it.
"What’s wrong?" she asked immediately sensing that something was amiss.
"Everybody got on my case today," he explained.
Anya released the breath she was holding as well as the cloth samples.
"Oh thank God. For a minute I thought you were going to say that something happened to our money."
"Equally important," he said patiently, "but could we focus on me?"
"Oh, poor baby," she crooned, "what happened?"
"Well first Giles let me have it because I’m not on board the Spike/Buffy love boat. Actually told me to cut Spike some slack. Can you believe that? He’s the evil blood-sucking undead and I have to play nice with him? I don’t get that. In fact, none of them should. Buffy and Spike, it’s just wrong."
"What else?" she prodded gently.
"Then it was Willow’s turn to go bizarro on me. Told me to grow up, that Buffy knew what she was doing and that a real friend would support her and...actually, that does make sense," he admitted grumbling.
Anya led him to the sofa where they sat down.
"You know," he continued "In my mind I get it, I just can’t get past it. Why is that?"
She told him to lie down and put his head in her lap. Softly her fingers played in his hair to soothe him.
"It could be Xander that although your heart is in order, something hasn’t been cleared to your satisfaction in your mind. It’s what’s making you kick at this with such passion."
Xander turned his head to look at her.
"You make it sound," he began carefully, "like I’m not over Buffy."
"I know you are. Believe me, if you weren’t, you wouldn’t be getting any orgasms from me."
"Point taken," he said with a smile, "but what am I not getting then, in this insane farce that is the Slayer in love again with a vampire?"
"I can’t help you there, baby. You’re an intelligent man, you’ll figure it out."
"How d’you get so wise about these things?"
"Many, many years observing humans."
"What else have you learned?"
"That participating is better than observing," she laughed as she kissed him deeply. Xander responded with enthusiasm and they rolled off giggling from the sofa to the floor littered with bridal magazines.
In the Summers’ household, Spike had managed to change Buffy’s mood by watching with her a "chick-flick" and indulging her craving for chocolate. Looking at her safely and contentedly wrapped in his arms, he wondered if there was anything he wouldn’t do for this girl. She had him at her mercy and didn’t even know it. Maybe that was exactly why she inspired such devotion in him.
Later that night Buffy and Spike lay sleeping, his body curled around hers. All of a sudden Spike’s body began to make jerky movements that woke Buffy. Startled at first she turned on the lamp on her nightstand and saw that Spike was deeply immersed in his dream. He became more agitated, a frown creased his brow and he started to mumble incoherently.
"Spike, baby, wake up," she said as she shook him lightly.
A note of terror crept in Spike’s mutterings and his body became tenser. Alarmed, Buffy shook him harder to no avail when Spike suddenly sat up and cried "No!" at the top of his lungs. Dawn came running to the door.
"Buffy? Is everything alright?"
"It’s okay Dawn, Spike had a nightmare. Don’t worry. Go back to bed."
"’Kay."
Spike’s eyes looked wildly about him until they fell on Buffy.
"You’re alive, you’re here," he said with relief.
"You just had a bad dream," she explained caressing the back of his neck.
Spike shook his head.
"Not a nightmare, just the past."
"You mean what happened with Glory?" she guessed.
There was an awkward pause. That subject had never been broached by either one of them.
"I don’t want to talk about that," they both said.
Surprised they stared at each other. They remained silent for a few moments and Buffy finally