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Kallysten
Disclaimer : Of course they belong to someone else, I just play with them sometimes.
Distribution : Sure, just tell me where. When the story is finished, I will
post it on my website at http://www.geocities.com/kallysten_fr/
Feedback : Anything but flames kallysten_fr@yahoo.com
Story notes : This is a sequel to my story His Childe. If you haven't read it,
I strongly suggest you stop right here and go read it first, some things in
here will make more sense if you do.
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In the alley behind the shop, Spike was pacing restlessly. A few memories, this place brought back. Bittersweet memories. Buffy telling him about Heaven. Buffy showing him a glimpse of Heaven with a kiss. Both times, he had been delighted and surprised that she had come to him. Both times, the following days had been hard. What do you tell someone who admits to you they have been in Heaven and hints that they wished they still were? What do you tell someone who, after kissing you like the world is going to end, denies it meant anything?
More bittersweet memories had just been created a few minutes before. Sharing blood with his Childe was always a wondrous thing, but with that strain between them, it just wasn’t the same. If the Witches had been around, he just might have considered begging for a memory spell. Which, of course, would only have been one more huge mistake, he realized, but it was a measure of how desperate he was becoming that he had even thought of it.
Spike was finishing his cigarette when Xander joined him. He raised a questioning eyebrow at the offered bottle, but accepted it and took a swig without comment. He wasn’t sure the human and he could be called friends, but Xander was certainly the closest thing he had to one.
“Some day I’ll have to introduce you to what a real beer is,” Spike said as he threw a quick glance at the other man.
That was a habitual subject of discussion between them; Spike complaining about American beer, Xander pointing out that it didn’t prevent him from drinking the stuff. The brunette had taken a seat on a bunch of crates and was nursing his bottle slowly, observing from the corner of his eye the still pacing vampire.
“My dearest wife says there’s something rotten in the kingdom of Buffy and Spike-land.”
Spike stopped walking to glare at him.
“That’s none of your business,” he growled.
“So she’s right.”
“Which part of ‘none of your business’ didn’t you get, Harris?”
Spike didn’t need a mirror to know his eyes were flashing gold, but Xander seemed unimpressed. Of course, he had witnessed displays of anger much worse from Spike, but had never been on the receiving end of a hit since the removal of the chip.
“’Thought you’d want to talk about it,” he said with a shrug.
“No I don’t,” Spike muttered as he finished his beer. “Not that there’s anything to talk about.”
The empty bottle suddenly shattered against a wall, and Xander jumped in surprise, but did not say a word. Unnerved, Spike lit another cigarette and started dragging on it angrily.
“I did something stupid,” he said without looking at the brunette. “And I almost lost her. Not sure I still have her completely. Don’t know what to do to mend things, and she won’t tell me. I have no bleeding clue what she expects from me!”
“She’s probably as clueless as you are,” Xander offered softly. “Your first big fight, uh?”
Spike nodded. “The first since we are officially together. We used to fight all the time before that, but it never meant anything. But this time she was ready to stake me!”
Xander kept silent at that, and Spike glanced at him, finding brown eyes that were apparently trying to weigh him.
“You killed someone?” he asked very low. “That’s just about the only reason why she would dust you.”
“No. I did not kill anyone. But she thought I did.”
The brunette didn’t press the matter, but Spike could see he wanted an explanation. The vampire sighed. He had said too much already, he might as well go on with it.
“She saw me biting someone. Someone who deserved to be hurt and to get scared within an inch of his life. I explained why, I promised I wouldn’t do it again, but it doesn’t seem to be enough.”
Dejectedly throwing the cigarette butt to the ground, Spike stepped on it and resumed his pacing.
“I explained, I apologized, I promised. What else can I do?”
“You just try. And try your best. And keep trying until it’s enough.”
He gave a blank stare to Xander, who returned it flatly.
“At least, that’s what a wise man told me when I got married. It worked for me so far.”
The faintest smirk appeared on Spike’s lips.
“A wise man, uh?”
“Now that you mention it, I’m not sure about the wise part. And the man part was always questionable.”
Spike chuckled as he flashed his game face at Xander.
“I should kill you for that, Whelp.”
“Sure, Fangboy, but I’m pretty certain your Slayer would get kind of pissed about it.”
“Such a pity.”
They shared a grin, and Xander jumped to his feet.
“Come on. If you’re lucky, my lady will have talked yours into being nice to you again.”
As he approached Spike, he noticed the fresh bite marks for the first time and made a face.
“Of course if she bites you when she’s mad, I don’t even want to know what happens when she’s nice.”
He shook his head as he walked back to the training room, and Spike followed, unable to suppress a hopeful smile. Maybe, just maybe, having human friends might be useful sometimes.
* * * * *
It always amazed Buffy that Spike could drive a car while only seeing the road through a tiny patch of clear glass and never have had an accident. At least, he said he never had one, and she couldn’t help but wonder about that. Yet she was used to it by now, and was not afraid any longer, even if she still thought he was driving too fast.
They had been on the road for an hour, and were roughly half way between Sunnydale and Los Angeles when she made up her mind. Her little talk with Anya had made her realize that, even if they had eternity in front of them, every minute that she refused to give her forgiveness, every minute when he didn’t reach to her because he thought she would pull away, was lost forever.
“Spike?”
“Slayer?”
He briefly turned to her and gave her a warm smile. She suspected that she wasn’t the only one who had had a little chat with a member of the Harris family, for he had been a little less subdued since returning to the shop along with Xander.
“I love you. You know that, right?”
Again, he turned to her, the smile on his lips a hundred times brighter than before.
“I know. And I love you too.”
He reached out for her hand and brought it to his lips. When he was done, it was her turn to pull his fingers to hers for a kiss.
“You are forgiven,” she whispered. “And I want to forget all about it. Ok for you?”
She heard a sharp intake of breath, and he took a few seconds before answering.
“Fine for me, luv. But before we forget, I just want to say I’m really sorry for hurting you. Never wanted that.”
“I know.”
She leaned toward him, resting her head against his shoulder, sighing happily when his right arm found its place around her waist. Peaceful at last, she closed her eyes and was lulled into sleep by the gentle purring coming from Spike’s chest. Her last thought was that nothing was worth losing this.
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