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Juliatheyounger
Author's Site: http://www.geocities.com/juliatheyounger/fiction.htm
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and all the clever people at Mutant Enemy etc own these characters, I'm just sad and obsessed with Spike and felt the need to write about them ;)
Summary: Spike, Buffy, sex. What? You want a plot? Ok, Spike and Buffy spend some quality time fighting a child snatching snot monster. Fluffy B/S shippy fic.
Rating: R for adult concepts, language and not too descriptive sex (sorry I'm no good at smut).
Spoilers: Season 5 up to Intervention (maybe some after that)
Feedback: Yes please! (Although I'm a Buffy/Spike shipper
virgin so please be gentle).
Distribution: In the extremely rare chance that someone a, actually reads this, and b
wants to put it elsewhere, then YES PLEASE DO! But let me know so I can be suitably
flattered.
Author's note: Set after the Glory incident. She imploded. I know, I know, terrible, sad things ACTUALLY happen in the real Buffyverse, but cos I'm in Australia I haven't seen the finale yet. I started writing this before I read those spoilers so just pretend this is an alternate universe where certain people don't die and Glory conveniently got sucked into her own personal black hole. Thanks! ;)
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It had been one whole week since Buffy and Spike first had sex. And every night since then, they’d somehow ended up fucking. Fumbled, frantic sex mid-patrol in the cemetary. Loud, passionate sex in Spike’s crypt. Secret sex in Buffy’s bed, quiet so as not to wake Dawn.
Neither of them said anything about what they were doing. Buffy, because she knew if she thought about it she’d have to stop it. Spike, because he didn’t want to risk ending this marvellous thing that was happening with Buffy. It wasn’t just the sex. It was the everything else, the before and after times he got to spend with her. The times when she treated him like a lover, a boyfriend, a friend. The sharing, the talking, the stupid nothings. Spike didn’t want to lose that. If Buffy would keep coming to see him, keep talking to him about the everyday crap that happened, keep curling up beside him to watch tv, keep treating him like a person, keep being with him, then he could live without the sex. Spike knew it meant more to Buffy too than just fucking. He knew what just fucking was, he’d been with Harmony. He also knew that she wasn’t willing to admit that yet.
Spike sighed. He hated this. He knew he should just let things be. He got to shag the Slayer on a regular basis. When they were alone together he knew without a doubt that she loved him. Knew it from her actions, knew it from her words, knew it from the way she held him close. He hated this jealous, hurt feeling he had. He hated that he cared that they kept this, this thing between them, secret. He hated the part of him that said, you’re good enough to shag but not good enough to hold her hand? He especially hated the part that told him he deserved more. He knew, well hoped, that eventually Buffy would grow used to the idea of being with him. He knew he should just wait, not push her until she was ready. Bloody hell, would it be such a big deal if he took her to the movies? He kicked open the door to his crypt and went inside.
They had been at the Bronze.
Spike was standing near the bar watching the proceedings. Willow, Tara, Anya and Buffy were dancing together. Xander walked over to him.
"Spike! Kill anything interesting lately?"
"Don't tempt me Harris," said Spike watching the four girls. One girl in particular.
Xander followed his gaze. "I'd join in," he said. "But it's more fun to watch."
Spike gave him a disgusted look.
"Oh and you aren't?" Xander said.
"Excuse me, but there's a band over there. Who happens to be pretty bloody good."
Xander slapped him on the arm. "Uhuh, you're watching the band."
"Want a beer?"
"If you're shouting."
Spike gave him a sour look and ordered two beers.
"So what's the night out in aid of?" he asked handing Xander the open bottle.
"Don't ask me. Anya said we were going out. I think it’s R&R meets get Buffy a man."
"Slayer needs a man does she?"
"Apparently." Xander suddenly grinned. "Hey, Spike, if you're in the mood for some humiliation you could give it another shot."
Spike took a swig of beer.
"I'd rather stick my wedding tackle in a vat of holy water." He walked away.
"And let me just say, ow." Xander followed him to the pool table.
He picked up a pool cue and waited while Spike set up the table.
They were halfway through their third game when Buffy came over.
"Hello Buffy," said Spike.
"Hi Spike," she said briefly then walked past him to Xander. "Hey Xander, Anya wants you to get your butt over there."
Xander gave Spike a long suffering look. "Sorry man, I'd stay and enjoy your sullen company but well, you know." And he wandered over to the dance floor where Anya threw her arms around him excitedly.
Spike turned to speak to Buffy, secretly pleased she'd come over to see him. Buffy wasn't there. He spotted her blonde head bobbing through the crowd on the way to the Ladies.
Spike ignored the disappointment and finished off the pool game by himself.
Buffy was back on the dance floor. She was having fun. She, Tara and Willow danced like crazy women to the upbeat song the band was playing. The song finished and a less bouncy one started up. Buffy smiled at Willow and Tara.
"You guys dance together. I'm going to sit for a while." She headed off the dance floor.
"Slayer." Spike was suddenly beside her.
"Spike, didn't know you danced."
Spike held out his hand. "May I?"
Buffy bit her lip. "I - I don't know Spike. I don't know if it's such a good idea."
"One dance Slayer."
Buffy looked up at him. His expression was serious.
"Don't worry it won't be close. Just dance with me."
"Fine," she said and followed him onto the dance floor.
The stood apart and Buffy started moving to the slow lyrics. Spike stepped in and took her hand. Buffy was startled as he took control and started moving her, moving with her in a very slow and graceful dance. Buffy found herself caught up in the dance, moving towards Spike, to his side, away towards him. Enjoying the intense grace and fluid movements of this old fashioned dance. He caught her waist with one hand, then let her go, catching her hand in his. There was nothing lewd or sexual in the dance but it was very seductive. Buffy found herself lost in Spike's eyes. Suddenly the music stopped.
Spike stepped back.
"Thank you Slayer," he said then turned and walked off towards the bar.
Buffy watched him go for a second. Then she took a deep breath. "Wow." She went to join Tara and Willow again.
"Hey Buffy," said Willow. "That was lovely."
Buffy shrugged. "Didn't kill me. Spike's an ok dancer for an old, dead guy."
Willow and Tara were sitting down. Anya had relinquished Xander for one song and the two of them danced with Buffy.
"Hey Spike!" Willow said as the vampire walked past.
Spike stopped.
"Red, Tara," he said in greeting.
"Come sit with us," said Willow. She felt sorry for Spike, he must be so lonely. Spike hesitated for a moment then sat down next to the witches.
He gave them a polite smile. The three of them sat there silently for a minute. Finally Spike took pity on the two wiccas.
"So how's the rabbits," he said.
"Oh! Fine! The vet said they'll be ok in no time."
"They seem happy," said Tara.
"Good, that's good. Wouldn't want our demons having unhappy endings now would we."
"You know Will, this could be a whole new way of fighting evil," said Tara.
Willow grinned. "Yes we could get a whole collection of cute and fluffy ex-demons."
"Yeah well just keep your spells away from me," Spike said darkly.
"But Spike. You're already cute and fluffy."
The vampire nearly choked on his beer. "Am not! Take that back!"
Willow grinned cheekily and Tara smiled.
Spike glared at them. "You women will be the death of me," he said.
Just then Anya, Xander and Buffy came over. Buffy sat in the chair furtherest from Spike
Xander was asking Anya what she wanted to drink.
"Ooh that one with the cute little umbrella that tastes like fruit juice," she told him.
"Do you want a drink honey?" Tara asked Willow.
"Some water would be nice, thanks."
Tara stood up to follow Xander.
"What about you Buffy?" asked Spike, noticing that she was trying not to feel left out.
She gave him a dirty look. "I'm fine," she said shortly. How could he be so obvious?
Spike sat back in his chair. "Die of thirst then, see if I care," he muttered.
Spike stomped around his crypt remembering. The Scoobies had been pleasant enough, asking him to sit with them. He’d tried not to insult them too much. But the evening had been awful. Buffy hadn't ignored him but she hadn't been with him either. Not like Xander was with Anya or the two witches were together. Spike wanted to sit next to Buffy with him arm draped over her chair. He wanted to whisper a private joke to her. He wanted to buy her a drink with a bloody stupid umbrella in it. He wanted to be the bloke that was with her. Instead he and Xander went and played pool again. Spike slumped down on his couch. He wanted to walk her home. At the end of the evening, she’d left with them. And he’d gone home by himself.
The door suddenly opened. Buffy walked in.
"You’re still up?" she said. Spike hated how her voice made his heart leap. He wasn't good enough to go home with, but it was fine to show up at his place later.
"It's night pet, I’m a vampire remember," he said it a little harsher than he meant.
Buffy noticed the edge to his tone and frowned.
"What’s wrong? Is something the matter? You were pretty quiet tonight."
Spike looked at her, suddenly severe. Strangely, the fact that she had noticed his behaviour hurt him more.
"What are we doing Slayer?" he said bluntly. "What are you doing?"
Buffy was shaken by his tone but she didn’t let herself show it.
"What do you mean?" she asked a bit defiantly.
"You, me, sex," he said, throwing her words from that first morning at her. "I’m fairly bloody certain you’ve noticed."
Buffy found herself getting annoyed. "What about it?" she said.
"I want to know if this is something you plan on continuing, or whether tomorrow you’re going to wake up and try to forget about our dirty little secret."
"Spike, it’s not a dirty little secret."
"That’s why you won’t tell anyone about it then."
"Spike you know why I haven’t told anyone."
He looked at her. He knew why, because he knew Buffy better than herself.
"Because its something that keeps happening that you can’t control, can’t stop, something that part of you hates. Something you know you’ll stop eventually, so why cause everyone grief by mentioning it?" The truth of his words cut Buffy.
Her eyes flashed. "What do you want me to tell them? By the way, you know that demon that tried to kill us all, like a dozen times, hey I’m screwing him?"
Spike’s jaw worked angrily beneath his cheek. "Then stop this," he said quietly. "If it’s so shameful, stop it. Do me a favour, get over it and leave me alone."
"Fine, I will, suddenly its not that hard anymore."
Buffy turned on her heel and walked out of the crypt.
Spike just stayed on the couch and didn’t move. Angry at her and angry at himself. Fucked that one up royally didn't you mate.
Buffy walked home, half hoping he’d come after her, half thinking that it would be better if he didn’t. It was over now. It had to end. It really did. It was for the best. Spike was right. Why did she have to tell anyone anyway? It wasn’t their business. What was Spike’s problem? Why did he suddenly want to start issuing ultimatums? They were having sex weren’t they? Wasn’t that what he wanted? Buffy ignored the guilt that had settled in the pit of her stomach. The guilt that told her that what he wanted was to be hers. The guilt that reminded her of all the times he’d whispered I love you to her. She hadn’t been using him. It was just something that had happened.