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Juliatheyounger
Author's Site: http://www.geocities.com/juliatheyounger/fiction.htm
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and all the clever people at Mutant Enemy etc own these characters, I'm just sad and obsessed with Spike and felt the need to write about them ;)
Summary: Spike, Buffy, sex. What? You want a plot? Ok, Spike and Buffy spend some quality time fighting a child snatching snot monster. Fluffy B/S shippy fic.
Rating: R for adult concepts, language and not too descriptive sex (sorry I'm no good at smut).
Spoilers: Season 5 up to Intervention (maybe some after that)
Feedback: Yes please! (Although I'm a Buffy/Spike shipper
virgin so please be gentle).
Distribution: In the extremely rare chance that someone a, actually reads this, and b
wants to put it elsewhere, then YES PLEASE DO! But let me know so I can be suitably
flattered.
Author's note: Set after the Glory incident. She imploded. I know, I know, terrible, sad things ACTUALLY happen in the real Buffyverse, but cos I'm in Australia I haven't seen the finale yet. I started writing this before I read those spoilers so just pretend this is an alternate universe where certain people don't die and Glory conveniently got sucked into her own personal black hole. Thanks! ;)
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Spike leant back against a tree and lit a cigarette. He inhaled deeply. Fucking fantastic, it was, being already dead. All the lovely nicotine addiction and none of that sodding cancer and emphysema business. He exhaled and watched the smoke disappear into the night. Dru liked her stars but Spike found beauty in more earthly things. The night was still, nary a fungus demon to disturb a sleeping Sunnydale. In fact, he was probably the most supernatural thing out tonight. It was as if all the nasties had packed their bags and cleared out after that Glory bint sucked herself into nothing. Now that had been a good day. Spike sighed happily. Things were all right, even for the chipped undead.
********
"This is all I need!" swore Buffy. "Are you sure it's not just some
pervert?"
"I'm afraid not Buffy," said Giles. He cleaned his glasses. "All the evidence indicates that whatever is taking the children is not human."
"Why can't it be something the police can handle for once?" Buffy had just started to get used to a nice quiet Sunnydale.
Giles sighed. He agreed. It seemed they were always lurching from one crisis to another. At least they'd had a few months reprieve after Glory obligingly imploded. Lately it had been so quiet that if Buffy encountered any vampires at all it could be counted as a busy night.
"Ok, well you do the book thing and I'll keep an eye out tonight." Buffy stood up. "Hopefully it's just a vamp with a taste for cradle snatching. Vampires I can deal with."
*********
Spike lay back on the grass next to Joyce's grave and looked at the stars. He didn't think
much about heaven and hell and all that, but he knew that if he were still here, smoking,
fighting and drinking blood, she must be somewhere. The knowledge made him happy. There
were a lot of things making Spike happy lately that had no call to be making an evil
bloodthirsty vampire even slightly pleased. An afterlife was the least offensive of the
things that were warming his metaphorical heart of late. Buffy wasn't completely pissed
off with him anymore, not after all his help with Glory. Xander had shouted him a beer.
Giles had asked his advice. Red and Tara had...Spike found this one hard to even think
about...Red and Tara had knitted him bedsocks. And he'd been pleased! Pleased about
two ugly red and pink wool things that could have been socks or might have been
novelty condoms. He wasn't entirely sure. But he'd been pleased. And he was invited
places. The other week the Scoobies had asked him to go to the Bronze. And then there'd
been that night they'd had pizza at the whelp's flat. It was very sad, really, Spike
reflected. There he was, glad that some geeky humans wanted him around. I ought to bloody
stake myself, he thought. But he thought it happily. Spike was lost in this reverie when
suddenly he became aware of a very familiar sound. Screaming. Spike sat bolt upright. In
two seconds he was running across the cemetery towards the sound. Well, he reasoned with
himself, he had to see what was making all the fuss before he decided whether to be Mr
Hero Vamp or not.
********
Buffy heard screaming just as she entered the cemetery grounds.
"Oh goody," she said. "And there I was thinking I wouldn't have to slay anything tonight."
She set off towards the sound at a run. The screaming seemed to be coming from a child. A very scared and upset child. As Buffy got closer she heard the sounds of fighting. Fighting and swearing. Fighting, very British swearing and a very familiar voice saying "Drop it, damn you, drop it!"
A huge scaly, green slimy creature reared off the ground. In its jaws was a howling child. On its back was Spike. He was whacking the creature on the snout with one hand and clinging for dear unlife with the other.
"Bloody hell, drop the damn brat!"
The kid howled louder. The creature couldn't roar because it wasn't about to let go of the kid. It was getting very pissed off though and tried to dislodge the annoying thing on its back with its tail. Spike hung on as the creature bucked and kicked, its long green tail whipping at him.
Buffy decided she probably should help.
"Hey," she said.
The creature swung around and got a slayer fist in the gut.
"Ewww, gross much?" Buffy said flicking slime off her hand.
"Hey Slayer," Spike said, not stopping his pounding. The kid stopped its howling for a brief second at the arrival of this new person, but then quickly remembered that it was supposed to be upset and began yowling again.
"Spike," replied Buffy. She dodged the creature's tail and kicked it in the head.
"Damn, I liked those boots," she said as her foot came away snotty.
The creature staggered back and roared in pain, dropping the child. Buffy swooped on the still yelling little kid as the creature and Spike tumbled backwards over a grave stone.
"Ow, git orf!" Buffy heard.
Now child free, the creature opened its very fangy jaws and bellowed.
"Oh fuck!" said Spike.
Depositing the child safely behind a tomb and telling it to stay there, Buffy ran to help Spike.
She jumped over the gravestone and found Spike standing very still, a look of sheer horror on his face. He was covered head to toe in thick green mucus. The creature was nowhere in sight.
"What happened?"
"It got away," Spike said quietly, not moving at all.
"Why, how? What happened?"
"It - " A look of tremendous pain crossed Spike's face. "The bloody thing sneezed on me," he said.
"Oh," said Buffy. A smirk twitched at her lips.
"Don't you laugh Slayer. Its not bloody funny."
Buffy laughed. Spike looked so indignant. It was too priceless.
"That's nice, that is," he growled. "Here I am trying to save little Johnny from the dragon and what thanks do I get? None. I get covered in snot and bloody laughed at, that's what I get."
Buffy looked at him. He was a mess. If he wasn't so pissed off and funny looking she would have felt sorry for him.
"Come on," she said. "Let's get little Johnny home, then you can come and have a shower at my place."
She started off to where she'd hidden the kid, not noticing the effect the combination of the words "my place", "shower" and "come" had on Spike. He shook himself, dislodging a few wads of slime in the process, and followed after her.
The child wasn't too hard to find because it was still bellowing.