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Kallysten
Disclaimer : Of course they belong to someone else, I just play with them sometimes.
Distribution : Sure, just tell me where.
Story notes : AU, set after As We Were and before Hell's Bells.
Warnings : Character Death, Bloodplay, NC-17 in future chapters
Feedback : Anything but flames kallysten_fr@yahoo.com As for most fanfic authors,
feedback motivates me to write faster... (hint, hint)
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Before they left the hotel, Buffy took a shower and put on the clothes he had brought for her. Sensible, comfortable clothes, she noted, bemused. Nothing too fancy, too sexy or too dark. Regular stuff from the time she was an almost regular girl. Strangely, the thought of the vampire snooping in her closet and drawers was more endearing than annoying.
She was trying to be mad at him, really, she was trying. But she couldn’t make herself hate him. Yes he had been selfish, incredibly so, but he had thought of her too, arranging for her soul to be returned to her immediately. What kind of monster would she have been without it ? She didn’t want to find out, ever, and hopefully she never would.
She was surprised when Spike gave her a cell phone and suggested that she call home, just to reassure them all and let them know she’d be back soon. She contemplated the phone for a long moment, only deciding herself in the speeding car.
“Hey Dawnie.”
“Buffy ? Oh my God it’s really you ? How are you ?”
“I’m fine, just fine.”
Well, as fine as she could be considering the circumstances...
“Are you coming home ?” the teen asked hesitantly.
“Yes, we’re on the way right now.”
“Spike is with you ? Can I talk to him just a second ?”
An amused smile came to Buffy’s lips. Why talk to the yesterday-dying-now-undead big sister when a sexy vamp was around ? She gave the phone to Spike. “Dawn,” she said simply.
Driving with a hand – good thing they were already dead, actually, considering the way he drove – he took the phone from her.
“Hi Nibblet.”
There was a brief pause, then the vampire spoke again, very softly. “Yes Dawn. She is still the same Buffy you know. A bit fangy at times and she won’t go sunbathing with you, but other than that, just the same.”
His words made her wonder. Was she really the same ? She hadn’t staked Spike, and certainly she should have. A few days ago, she would have. Or not ?
She realized Spike was holding the phone in front of her face, and took it. Holding it to her ear, she cast a glance at him. He was suddenly looking very tense.
“Hello ?”
“Buffy…”
Her mind almost froze as she heard her name whispered by that so familiar voice. He was there. At her home. Waiting for her.
“Angel.”
“Oh Buffy… How do you feel ?”
Weird question, coming from him. And weirdly enough, she felt…
“Alive. That’s how I feel. Funny, uh ?”
From the corner of her eye, she saw Spike’s head turn to her, but didn’t have time to see the look on his face before his gaze returned to the road.
“Listen Angel, we’ll talk when I’m back, ok ? I’ll be home in…”
“An hour,” Spike supplied.
“An hour,” she repeated for Angel’s benefit. “Tell Dawn I love her.”
“I will. And Buffy, I… “
“Bye,” she said quickly, interrupting him. She fumbled with the tiny buttons to end the call and closed her eyes. She couldn’t hear the words, not now, not by phone. She needed to see him, she needed him to see her as what she was now. Then the words could come.
Having nothing else to think of, she began to feel it again. The hunger. Just beginning to lurk, not too strong yet, but present.
“Am I going to want blood all the time ?” she asked, upset at the thought.
“The first few days are the worst,” he replied. “You’re hungry again ?”
She nodded.
“Maybe it has to do with you being sick before I … Your body is repairing itself I suppose. Which requires more blood. There’s some in the duffel bag. Or…”
His voice trailed as his eyes shot to her. A permanent invitation, he had called it.
She fumbled in the back seat for the bag, and retrieved a blood package. She turned it in her hands, looking at the dark red liquid that looked so unappealing.
“Where did you get human blood ?” she asked as she noticed the inscription on the package.
“’Worked a deal with Sunnyhell’s hospital. I take their expired blood, and they don’t have to worry about contaminated waste.”
She frowned at the revelation. “They actually give it to you ?”
“Yes luv they do. And they’re clever enough not to ask what I do with it. I’ll introduce you to my favorite doc if you want.”
She thought about it for a few seconds. The idea of drinking human blood was a bit disturbing. The idea of drinking any blood was disturbing. Yet, drinking from Spike felt natural. Normal. Even knowing that his blood came from the same bag that grossed her out.
Repressing a sigh. She slipped the untouched package back in the bag. She didn’t say a word, but he heard her anyway. He wiggled out of his coat, throwing it on the back seat, and rolled his shirt’s sleeve up his right arm. He presented the inside of his wrist to her, that simple gesture making him look oddly vulnerable. She traced the tender scars that marred his pale skin with a finger.
“Is that where you made me drink from first ?”
“Yes luv.”
She felt the tears come to her eyes and tried to fight them back.
“I didn’t want to be a vampire, Spike. You were wrong to do that.”
“I know.”
“Then why did you ?” The sobs finally broke in her voice.
The tires screeched and left marks on the asphalt as he braked so hard that the car came to a stop in a couple of seconds only. He turned to her, not just his head but his whole body. His hands took hers, holding them tight. She shuddered at the touch. This simple contact was calming.
“I love you Buffy. Many people love you. Do you have any idea how amazing you are ? You change everyone you touch. Bring the best out of them. That disease… That wasn’t a way for you to die. You deserve better. You’re a fighter. You deserve to die fighting. Anything else would be an insult to you.”
She pulled her hands out of his grip and slapped him, but her heart was not in it. “You killed me when I couldn’t fight back,” she cried. “That wasn’t a fighter’s death. That was an insult. That was…”
“You told the poof you feel alive. Was it a lie ?”
Again, he captured her hands. “Answer me, Slayer !”
“Not a lie,” she sobbed.
“Ok. As long as you feel alive, that’s what you will be. And the day you feel dead inside, you’ve dusted enough vamps to know it’s quick. Just do me a favor and stake me first. But until then, luv, you’re going to live. You’re going to be a big sister for the Bit. A friend for the bloody Scoobies. And a hero for the rest of us. If you have anger to work out, I’m here. Punch me. Beat me up. Dust me. I did this to you, and never until I’m ashes will I regret it. And if you feel alive, neither should you.”
Gently but insistently, he pulled her to him until she was sitting across his lap. He cradled her like a child, and dimly, she felt like one. His child. His Childe. One of his hands traveled along her arm, up to her hair, and pushed her head down to his neck. She resisted a few seconds, then gave in and took what he was offering. It wasn’t just blood. It was comfort. Power. Love. Life.
He hissed, and the demon in her knew why. She was taking too much. She wouldn’t kill him that way, but he would be weak, too weak to drive.
Without lifting her lips from his skin, she pushed her hair aside before tangling her fingers in his bleached locks. He took the hint, his lips brushing against the healed scars he had left… was it only the night before ?
She barely felt it when he pierced her skin, absorbed as she was in his blood. But when he started to suck, it felt incredible. His suction matched hers, same rhythm, same intensity. Buffy’s head started spinning, not from weakness, just the opposite. Too much power. Too much life flowing between them, as dead as they were. Too much…
Her mouth left his neck to let out a piercing moan. Her body was shaking, her mind was blank. Just as she was calming down, he took a last deep pull, triggering a second mind-shattering orgasm.
* * * * *
Spike stroke her back for long minutes, a rhythmic, comforting motion. He still couldn’t believe he had fed from her. That hadn’t been part of the plan. Not at all. That was a Sire / Childe bonding thing, and they couldn’t have that. And still they had. He should have been able to resist, damn it. He wasn’t a simple fledgling, unable to control the bloodlust. He was a bloody Master Vampire.
And she was the woman he loved.
How could he have resisted ?
That was why he had turned her, after all, unable to face unlife without her presence. Selfish, she had said. Necessary, he silently replied. As necessary as breathing was to a human. As necessary as blood for a vampire. Without her, he couldn’t be.
Eventually, she moved back to her own seat, to his deep regret.
“They’re waiting for us,” she said in a rasp voice.
“No luv,” he corrected softly. “They’re waiting for you.”
He started the car again, and sped their way back to hell.
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