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Treacle-Antlers
He was in the bar of course.
She might have guessed that. Might have to call him on the whole recreational drinking thing now that he had the fully functioning liver. Slid onto the stool beside him, let her fingers mesh his over the tumbler of bourbon.
"You know...drinking never cured anything."
He met her eyes, a little guarded as if he had been playing the scene in his mind while he'd been waiting here, her and Angel alone in a hotel room, emotions high and all. But the trust was still there she thought, she could see it. Holding back the hurt, making his blue eyes even more luminous than usual.
"You O.K?"
He smiled, a small nod, raised just the one eyebrow.
"You?"
She laid her arm on the bar alongside his, let warm muscle press against her,
"Wouldn't say no to a cold one....if you're buying that is."
He slid his hand over her's, motioned to the barman with the other, looked down at his drink, frowned a little. A moment passed and she studied his face. Hey. Give me some sign as to where to go from here will you? Something to let me know we'll be OK.
"So where is he?"
Keeping it light, like he was just curious, no big deal.
"He's gone back...to his room...I think."
That got more of a reaction,
"His room? He's not...he's...staying here?"
The barman placed a tall glass in front of her and she took a deep draught, let it run it's course down her throat, forcing her to relax. Tried not to look at his face, all annoyance and Spikish peevishness. You need to be calm for this one Buffy, not sure if he's ready, if you're ready but here goes.
"Yeah. He is. But I thought...."
Deep breath, just say it,
"....maybe you could...not be."
He didn't get it, didn't understand what she was saying and that was a real pity, because it had taken all the guts she had to get the words out and she wasn't sure if she could do it a second time.
"Oh...right! So I have to go? Why...because Mr. Tortured needs his space? Well, I'm sorry but I was here first....and he can just....I mean....what about the Holiday Inn or something....?"
She felt a sudden familiar exasperation, God, he could be so obtuse. Pulled him round to face her, let her hands rest, one on each hard thigh. He looked down at them, confused, back up at her,
"I meant...that you could come home with me stupid."
"Oh...right."
His face was a surprised question mark,
"What...until...he's...what...?"
"Until whenever."
There. Done. And she was dizzy, watching his whole expression change through surprise to amazement and finally, to reservation,
"Are you sure? What about Dawn? And Willow?"
She could have kissed him right then, the one thing he wanted most in the world and he wouldn't let himself have it, not unless it was O.K with Dawn and Willow. She felt a slow smile start at her eyes, reach her mouth, reach him, until he was smiling too and they were both sitting there, grinning at each other like loons.
He got to his feet, knocked back the last of his drink, looked at her's still half full,
"You going to finish that?"
She shook her head, looking into his beautiful face. Wondering, how is it that you do this thing to me? Make me feel so safe and warm and yet like a woman all at the same time? Make me want you like this? And she was wanting it all suddenly, now that she'd finally said it, wanting it to begin and couldn't wait a moment longer, any more than he could, took his hand and led him towards the door
"Let's go get your stuff."
~
He wasn't sure how he felt about this. I mean he knew he was happy, fuck...yeah! The happiest he'd ever been in the whole of his miserable sodding existence, bar about an hour ago when she been breathing into his face in that hotel room, telling him she loved him too. But next to that? This had to be a close second. Let his bag drop to the carpeted floor, cast his eyes around the familiar bedroom.
Felt different now. Wasn't just her room any more. Buffy's room all full of pretty stripes and the girl stuff and all the pastel colours. It was their room. And he'd never really thought about that before, thought about what it might mean for them to have a room, a space they shared together and the realisation of what was happening to him, to them, brought him out in a cold sweat.
"Maybe I'll just....crash on the couch tonight?"
And the click of the door closing behind her? How was it that it managed to sound like that? Like finality and the promise of all kinds of stuff he'd never even let himself consider, hope for. A relationship, on the level, and here in her private little sanctuary, her bedroom, proof of it. What had Angel said? The real deal.
She opened her closet, pulling out the bottom two drawers and what was she doing? Was she going to get changed now? Saw that she was moving the clothes there into the top two, folding neatly, unzipping his bag to take out some of his things. And it was like Japanese No Theatre or something, a little ritual done for his benefit only, her sign to let him know that this was it. She was finally letting him all the way in.
He sank down on the bed and watched her, slowly taking everything that was his and making room for it, smiling a sweet little smile until it was all done. Folded his hold-all, placed it in the back of the cupboard.
"If you want any hangers..."
He half frowned, still smiling though. Like the coy thing Buffy. Keep it up.
"Ah...no...thanks. It's all pretty much....foldable."
She nodded, frowning a little too. Was she thinking...? He should just ask.
"Is this too weird?"
She looked at him quickly, some fear. Was it?
"No....I wasn't thinking...I mean...no." a firm no, "This is what I want."
Her eyes glowed, that familiar Slayer fire that he loved but knew not to mess with, got to his feet and sidled towards her trying to get closer to it, let it warm him. He saw her stiffen a little, a throwback to times gone by, but not a bad one, slid his hands around her waist, up her back under her shirt. She relaxed into him, letting herself be held, let herself be playful,
"You should take a shower. You probably need one...I mean"
He could play this one too
"Yeah...."
he stretched luxuriously, looked at the pristine bed out of the corner of one eye,
"Wouldn't want to mess those nice clean sheets up would we?"
She did the casual coy thing again, slid out of his arms to pad out of the door and across the hallway and he followed her slowly, trying not to let the thought of little Dawn in the next room and Willow down the corridor bother him. Fast asleep by now anyway, dreaming little witchy dreams and anyway, he pulled the bathroom door closed behind him, they were being real quiet.
She turned the faucet all the way round, let the room start to fill with steam,
"It's a...power shower...so you know...it's pretty loud."
"Mmm."
He pulled his t-shirt off over his head, unbuckled his belt and she took a seat on the edge of the bath, watching him, that small sweet smile still on her lips. Was this it? She was just going to sit there and stare at him? He smiled, letting himself play up to it, unlaced his boots slowly,
"You going to watch?"
She shrugged, all nonchalant,
"I'll probably have one...after you any way...."
He shook his head, starting to grin wickedly now. O.K, if that's the way she wanted it and he turned his back to her, wrapping a bath-sheet around his waist before pulling off his jeans,
"Hey!!"
and there was real petulance in that voice. He looked over his shoulder at her, did surprise.
"What? I 'm just preserving a little dignity!"
She rolled her eyes at him, grinning like crazy now and he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her look that happy, felt his eyes sparkling in return. Don't mind the games when they're like this Buffy, fun games, hopefully ones with prizes. She sidled over to him, touched a warm fingertip to his chest, deliberately avoiding the nipple...ran it slowly down the line of his belly, her palm flattening to trace the hard sets of muscles in his abdomen.
"Lose the towel."
He tried not to smirk at her husky, mock seductive tone but she saw it, the little flash of amusement,
"Hey!! No laughing! I'm trying to be....sultry here!!!"
He raised an eyebrow at her, pulled her shirt over her head in one quick movement. Game over Buffy. Spread the fingers of his hands on her hips, found the button of her jeans and slid them down her legs.
"Well, stop trying."
He felt a tiny delicious shiver go through her whole body as her eyes locked with his, a deep amber-gold now and so full of need, of hope and trepidation he was in awe suddenly. What had he done to deserve all that? Just your run of the mill vamp-turned-human and who was she? The sodding Chosen One no less! The bloody Slayer! And here she was, gone all soft and warm in his arms, wanting him, kissing him with those soft, butterfly kisses, running her tiny little hands and fingernails down his sides. Pulling that towel away that was the only thing preventing her from being against him now, all naked except for her underwear.
And then her mouth warm and insistent against his, lips parting to let that hot little tongue through and yet still he held back, held her, thought that he'd blow it for sure if she moved her hands any lower and then bit down on his lip when she took his raging fucking hard-on softly in her little palm as if it was something she just did every day. Felt her movement, so shy and tentative...Jesus Buffy...what are you doing to me! And she couldn't quite meet his eyes for a moment as he searched for hers, but then there they were, bright and shining with her new discovery of how this could feel. A whole different kind of intensity, of closeness. And he had to do this right. Couldn't just take her now like he wanted, so wanted to, had promised himself it was going to be different, could feel her wanting that too.
His breath caught painfully in his throat as he watched her reach behind her to undo her bra, let it drop to the floor. Almost blushing as she took his hands in hers and moulded them to her breasts, all the time watching his face, watching how it made him feel to touch her. Closing her eyes as he bent his head to her nipple, pulled it into his mouth, still taking it so slow when he could feel the tension in her like a watch-spring, making her back and thighs taut against him. A wordless sigh escaped her lips as he rolled the panties down over her sharp hipbones, moving his hand back to cup the soft mound of curls, still watching her face, touching his lips to hers, waiting for it, waiting for her eyes to come back to his before he began to press down against her. Her eyes went wide for a second and he felt her whole body flex under his insistent pressure on her, the plea in her face pulling at his fragile will. Oh Buffy, you have no idea.
Her hands moved up over his back again, smaller circles now, a little frantic almost, her breathing nearly sending him over again with it's controlled, rapid edge. He held it, watched the flush spread up through her face and neck, down to her breasts and stomach,
"I...want you...so much."
Tiny little tugs now, hands at the base of his spine, trying to pull him into her, a little desperate, fingers digging into his thighs and he couldn't believe he was still waiting, couldn't remember ever having held off this long in his whole life, or it ever having been this fucking hard to. Tried not to choke as he let himself be guided forward until he was right against her, pressing into her and if it had been torture before, now it was about to drive him crazy but he trusted it, knew he'd know the moment.
And as he thought it her face came up to his, tears springing to the corners of her eyes as she let herself go finally, let herself be seen by him and in the same second they were on his face too, as she drew him slowly inside her and if he'd thought he could take it slow now he'd been insane, because it was everything he could do to just keep from crying out, waking the whole bloody house shouting his frigging head off as held her shuddering body in his arms, burying himself in her, one leg hooked high around his waist as he felt her, saw her really let him in at last. All the hurt and the pain and that part of her that he had only ever glimpsed, and suddenly he was a part of it, of her, felt the rush take them both, like a wave slamming them against the rocks and they were gasping for air and she was crying and laughing into his face and was everything he had ever wanted and more.
I love you.
Spike, I love you so much.