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Shanna
shannalynn9064@yahoo.com
The next few weeks passed slowly for Willow. She ate, slept, studied and researched. Beyond those times she never left her dorm room. She knew her friends were becoming concerned about her new antisocial behavior, but she couldn’t take the pitying looks from Anya and Giles, or the lectures from Xander that he never intended to sound like lectures. Buffy alternated between looking sympathetic and disgusted in the beginning, but both of those had faded recently into motherly concern that was simply smothering after all the years she had basically been motherless. Riley and Dawn were the only two who made any attempt to treat her like ‘Willow’. Just ‘Willow’. She missed that.
She was aware she was no longer just ‘Willow", however. Her time in LA had changed her drastically. Regardless of the reversal spell, she came to realize that she truly was in love with both Angel and Spike. Her heart and body ached for them more and more each day. Neither vampire had tried to contact her since her sudden departure from the Hyperion. It was a sad realization for Willow that while time allowed her to process and sort her feelings enough to conclude she was in love, it also showed that apparently Spike and Angel were not.
Every day they were apart made her want them more. Every day without any contact from them shattered her heart just a bit further. Her hope was fading that they would start to miss her. Not just her blood, mind you, or the sex...although that was nice too. Willow hoped they would miss their quiet late night talks cuddled under Angel’s comforter. Or maybe they would be on the roof staring at the stars, and remember the night all three stayed out until almost dawn while she and Angel pointed out different constellations. Did they miss curling up to her warm body the way she craved feeling their coolness against her? Didn’t they miss their snuggles? Their quiet times?
Willow peered around the room. Everyone was gathered at the Magic Box researching. Even Xander had his head buried in some musty old book Giles placed in front of him after removing the box of Ho-Ho’s from her friend’s reach. It was obviously a *very* old and musty book for Giles to risk doing so.
She glanced down at her laptop. Her organizer was open; she counted the blocks marked in red and sighed. Thirty-six days. Thirty-six days without Angel and Spike. She wondered if the sense of loss would ever fade, or would this leave a big, old black hole in her heart forever?
*********************************************
"Thirty-six days! Thirty-six freakin’ days! What is wrong with you two?"
Cordelia halted her combined pacing and ranting to glare at the two subdued vampires sitting on separate sides of the desk in Angel’s office.
"She needs time, Delia," Angel murmured for what seemed like the thousandth time.
"Time my right foot...and my left one too! She’s been gone over a month and neither of you can take the time to pick up a phone to call and see how she’s doing?" The seer tapped her foot impatiently as she lectured centuries old vampires like she would a kindergarten class.
"Red didn’t want us to call. She said she couldn’t deal with it." Spike squinted up at the cloud of smoke leaving his mouth.
"You know, I used to think the whole brooding thing was because of the soul." Cordy glared between the two men. "I didn’t realize it was genetic. Must be in the blood, because you two are the biggest and broodiest vampires I have *ever* laid eyes on. If you don’t get your undead butts in gear and go get her, you *will* lose her."
"Cordelia, perhaps it isn’t our place to interfere..." Wesley began.
"It’s not our place?" She turned the former watcher with fire in her eyes. "I have watched these two sit here and whine, pout and sulk for the last month. If they want her, they should at least let her know, and not let her rot in Sunnydale thinking they don’t care!"
"Said she wanted time," Spike mumbled. He flicked the ashes from his cigarette into a nearby empty bottle of whiskey.
Cordy rounded on the blond. "Yes, time. Time to get her thoughts and her heart straight, not more time than in between my credit card bills. You know, just because you’re vampires and have all the time in the world to get your lives straightened out doesn’t mean that we mortals do. This month may seem like a blip on the radar to you morons, but to Willow I’ll bet it seems like an eternity."
Spike and Angel exchanged glances. Could she be right? Did they let too much time pass? Doubt clouded each of their gazes. What if they still hadn’t let enough time pass?
"We’ll think about what you said, Cordy," Angel said slowly. He glanced at his grand-childe again. How could he tell her that what they both feared the most was contacting Willow and finding out she didn’t want them anymore? What if she was so embarrassed by what happened she never wanted to even see them again?
She stared at the vampires in disbelief. "You’ll *think* about it? That’s *it*? That’s your answer?"
"That’s what the man said, Cheerleader. Now, if you don’t mind, Peaches and I were in the middle of a conversation before the two of you barged in. Don’t let the door hit you in the arse on the way out."
Delia threw her hands up in the air, with an aggravated ‘Aaaarrggggg!’ She stomped out of the room with an apologetic Wesley closing the door after them.
After the footsteps faded, Spike turned to Angel. "Is she right? Have we waited too long?"
Angel shook his head cautiously. "Nooooo, I don’t think so. Willow’s complex. I think it will take her a while to figure out what she wants."
Spike nodded his agreement. There were times the Poof made sense. "You’re right. We’re not waiting too much longer though, are we Sire?" Plaintive blue eyes pleaded with the brunette. "It’s too bloody quiet without her. I miss her."
Angel offered a small smile. "Not too much longer, Spike. I promise. Maybe we’ll give her another month or so. That should be plenty of time."
At the receptionist desk, Cordelia resisted growling at the recently installed intercom that let her listen in on her boss’ conversation. Stupid men. How difficult was it for them to understand someone as insecure as Willow? If they want her, they have to go get her. Thank God they had her around to kick their undead butts into gear. Now all she needed was a plan.
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